You Are So Dumb Jokes

On the day, my husband, Eugene Doyle, receives the offer to further his studies in the city, he serves me divorce papers instead. I, Maria Johnston, am eight months pregnant with his child. He tries to console me. "Maria, ever since my elder brother, Edgar, passed away, Janice has had nobody taking care of her. She can't survive on her own. "I'll marry her for the time being, just on paper, until she manages to find her footing in the city. After that, I'll come back and marry you again." Everyone assumes that I will patiently and obediently wait for Eugene to return because of my pregnancy. However, I tear up his written oath to me and terminate the pregnancy that same day. Then, with the offer letter for the National Archeology Certification in my hands, I leave our little village and disappear from Eugene's life. Five years later, I become a successful archeologist and return to the same village for a survey. My current husband, Rupert Kingston, can't come at the same time as me due to an emergency meeting, but he has informed the villagers to welcome me with open arms ahead of time. To my surprise, I meet my ex-husband instead. He says, "I know that you lost your baby at eight months. There's no need to be ashamed about it. It's about time you came back after running away from home all those years ago. "Janice is about to give birth. We need you to be her nanny."

Fatima is beautiful but voluptuous! Not ordinary voluptuousness but like a whale in size. And in her obesity, she was often bullied. One of the bullies is Kier Williams! Whenever their paths crossed, he did nothing but insult, mock, and annoy her. It seems that her obesity is what makes him live happily. He went too far! Fatima was deeply hurt. Her character was so insulted. So when Kier flew to America, Fatima also started to lose weight. Fatima promised herself if Kier returned to the Philippines. He will see a different Fatima. Beautiful with a fabulous figure! She would show him her body that he had insulted before. When they meet again, she is positive that his saliva will drip on her charming beauty and sexiness. It's revenge time! But something else happened. They are put in the situation of arranged marriage. She does not want to marry her mortal enemy. Huh, she is not crazy to do that!

Some lines aren't meant to be crossed. We cross them anyway. A struggling artist signs a contract to become a billionaire's live-in muse, in exchange for her to surrender her body, and even her soul. A college student watches his best friend's father through the window. The father watches back. And puts on a show. A therapist knows every trigger point of his patient's body. Late-night sessions become something far less professional. A man confesses his darkest desires to a priest who's bound by vows to only listen. The priest's restraint shatters. A photographer's lens captures more than boudoir photos. Eventually, he puts down the camera. Two stepbrothers' best friends steal moments in a house full of people who can't know. The risk makes it hotter. A student loses a dare and brings a vibrator to her strictest professor's class. He hacks it. Control it and own her. Two rival lawyers hate each other in court. In hotel rooms, they work out their aggression the only way that satisfies. This isn't romance. This is an obsession collection not for the faint hearted. GET WET. GET WILD. GET LOST IN THE FORBIDDEN.

Knowing someone who used to be your friend for so long is a blessing for everyone, yet, it's painful somehow. A friend who can rely and cry on you when they needed you the most, yet, they are not there for you when you needed them.

If you're looking for a story with sunshine, unicorns, and cliché endings well you won't find it here. Only Disney does those kinds of stuff, actually, this is a story where hopes and dreams are crushed into tiny little pieces, I know what you're thinking this is so over-dramatic but no, it’s not. I'm just simply telling the truth and the truth can be painful sometimes, anyway this is the tale where our brave main character got caught up with shit. Her life was simple back then robbing banks here and there and hacking stuff but it all changed on a faithful night, which she wants to take back so bad. Now she is plagued into a life with Mafias and Deadly Assassins with everyone out to get her, how can a kid possibly survive through it all? Join Midnight in a fun-filled adventure of a lifetime where she battled her way in a war between the Mafias and assassins, a past that needs reconciling and a promise that needs to be treasured. Where she asks herself in the end, how can a life be so cursed?

After my rebirth, I vow to stop clinging to my fated mate—the man I grew up with—Damon Hale. When he gathers all the healers in the pack for a party in Alohara, I book a flight to Harborwatch. When he complains that my scent makes him and his wolf sick, I move out and hire a deep-cleaning service for 500 dollars. When he orders me to stay away from his pack, I quit my job as Alpha's private healer and take up freelance work in Coghaven to support myself. Finally, he says my existence might mislead his precious stepsister into thinking he still cares for me. So, I nod and accept Coghaven Alpha's hand in marriage, along with the keys to an 18-million-dollar villa as my wedding gift. Not until the very last moment of my previous life did I realize… he had always loved his stepsister. In this life, I’ll let you be together—and from now on, I’ll live for myself alone.

The first thing my fiance's childhood sweetheart—Eve Hodgson—does after returning from abroad is make me sign a bet. It states that if my fiance—Holden Lane—chooses her over me nine times, I'll have to step aside willingly and let her have him. I agree. On the ninth time, she calls him in tears. "If you don't marry me, Holden, I'll be forced to marry that notorious Croft heir from Jedburgh!" He ends the call in a frenzy and leaves me behind yet again. With his identification documents in hand, he rushes to marry her right away. They announce their marriage to the world on the same day. Elites of Jedburgh strain their necks, eager to see me and the Crofts humiliated. That's when Ryland Croft comes to me, smirking with that careless arrogance of his. "Since your fiance stole my bride, it seems only fair that you pay the debt. So, how about you marry me instead?" I nod and say, "Fair enough. When's the wedding?"

A simple omega who tries to finish her studies as quickly as possible to get away from the family and the town that hates her, she is only waiting for her 18th birthday and her transformation. Without expecting that that day would be the worst of her life, she would never meet her wolf but her rejection of hers was destined for her, bringing her to the brink of death but she is not even easy to defeat. "I Andrews Wen, Alpha leader of the Silver pack, reject Anastasia Jason as my destined and moon of the pack." My head spun and my chest hurt, my blurred vision only helped me see when Anastasia cut her omega glands, turning into a simple and vulgar human

On our tenth anniversary, I came home with roses and the biggest deal of my career. I expected celebration. Instead, I found my husband in bed with my cousin. They looked at me like I was the one who had interrupted something that mattered. That night, I walked away from the man I thought loved me and the company I built. They thought I vanished. They rebranded everything in my absence, twisted the story, and erased my name from what I created. But I did not disappear. I became Juliana Cross. And I am not here to beg for what was mine. I am here to take it all back.

My boyfriend has always doted on me. However, after learning that I can't go to work at the bank after falling and injuring myself, he snaps at me. "Why didn't you tell me you switched shifts with someone else? That was a cheap move!" I don't refute him. Instead, I pull out a hospitalization record as I watch the bank descend into chaos. In my past life, I attended to a couple who wanted to deposit five million dollars into their account. Their child had been diagnosed with a rare illness. They'd gotten the money by selling their organs and mortgaging the home—it was to save their child's life and pay for the surgery the following day. However, the money was stolen the following day. I helped them check where the money was withdrawn, but the surveillance footage showed I was the one who did it. My best friend wept when the couple questioned me. "You shouldn't have stolen the money someone needed to save a life, no matter how materialistic and covetous you are!" My boyfriend hurried over and said, "I wondered why you suddenly had money to buy a car—you stole it! You're heartless!" The child died after failing to receive treatment in time, and the couple stabbed me to death on the streets out of devastation. When I open my eyes again, I think injuring myself will help me escape this. To my surprise, the surveillance cameras once again capture me stealing the money.