You Are So Dumb Jokes

For five years, Marco Falcone was the perfect man. Or so I thought. The illusion shattered on the night of our engagement party, when his mistress crashed it, a five-year-old boy in tow. The boy ran straight to Marco, crying, "Daddy! Daddy, I finally found you!" It had to be some kind of sick joke. But then Marco turned to me, his voice stripped of all warmth. "This is my son, Leo. A… mistake Sofia and I made five years ago." "Leo is the Falcone heir. I have to legitimize them. That means I'll be engaged to Sofia first." "But Lydia, believe me, I still love you. We can have our engagement party in six months. You're going to be the Donna of the Falcone family. I expect you to be generous and understanding. This is non-negotiable." I laughed, a cold, sharp sound, and slid the engagement ring off my finger. My eyes scanned the room and locked on the man in the corner—Lorenzo Moretti, the most powerful Don in New York. He held another title, one only I knew: the man who’d been trying to make me his. "Don Moretti," I called out, my voice clear and steady. "I find myself in need of a new fiancé. Are you interested?"

When my Alpha mate, Logan noticed I hadn't submitted a single expense request in three days, he reached out to me on his own for the first time ever. "Baby, I've already approved the next phase of your wolf's healing. See? As long as you learn to behave, there's nothing I won't give you." His tone was still so affectionate, as if he were truly a good Alpha, worried sick over his mate. But he didn't know that as his "Baby" flashed across my phone screen, I had already finished drafting the agreement to sever our mate bond. Before I left, the only thing I could take with me was the old T-shirt I had worn when he marked me. No one would ever believe that the beloved Luna of the Blackmoon Pack, in the three years since our bonding ceremony, couldn't even scrape together five decent dresses of her own. Every household expense I incurred had to be approved by the Luna's seal, the very symbol of my power. "Sienna, managing the books is too tiring. It will wear you out." "Just let Chloe handle the tedious work with the seal. All you have to do is be beautiful, be my perfect Luna." And so, the Luna's seal, which should have been mine, became something I had to beg for from Chloe, the Alpha's secretary who was supposedly "handling the tedious work for me." Three days ago, my wolf was on the verge of collapsing. I cried and begged him for the two hundred thousand needed for an emergency intervention. But Chloe deliberately withheld the seal, delaying approval by claiming improper procedure. Finally, my already fractured wolf went completely silent in the depths of my soul. And with that, I was done with this Alpha, too.

If you're looking for a story with sunshine, unicorns, and cliché endings well you won't find it here. Only Disney does those kinds of stuff, actually, this is a story where hopes and dreams are crushed into tiny little pieces, I know what you're thinking this is so over-dramatic but no, it’s not. I'm just simply telling the truth and the truth can be painful sometimes, anyway this is the tale where our brave main character got caught up with shit. Her life was simple back then robbing banks here and there and hacking stuff but it all changed on a faithful night, which she wants to take back so bad. Now she is plagued into a life with Mafias and Deadly Assassins with everyone out to get her, how can a kid possibly survive through it all? Join Midnight in a fun-filled adventure of a lifetime where she battled her way in a war between the Mafias and assassins, a past that needs reconciling and a promise that needs to be treasured. Where she asks herself in the end, how can a life be so cursed?

Fatima is beautiful but voluptuous! Not ordinary voluptuousness but like a whale in size. And in her obesity, she was often bullied. One of the bullies is Kier Williams! Whenever their paths crossed, he did nothing but insult, mock, and annoy her. It seems that her obesity is what makes him live happily. He went too far! Fatima was deeply hurt. Her character was so insulted. So when Kier flew to America, Fatima also started to lose weight. Fatima promised herself if Kier returned to the Philippines. He will see a different Fatima. Beautiful with a fabulous figure! She would show him her body that he had insulted before. When they meet again, she is positive that his saliva will drip on her charming beauty and sexiness. It's revenge time! But something else happened. They are put in the situation of arranged marriage. She does not want to marry her mortal enemy. Huh, she is not crazy to do that!

After my rebirth, I vow to stop clinging to my fated mate—the man I grew up with—Damon Hale. When he gathers all the healers in the pack for a party in Alohara, I book a flight to Harborwatch. When he complains that my scent makes him and his wolf sick, I move out and hire a deep-cleaning service for 500 dollars. When he orders me to stay away from his pack, I quit my job as Alpha's private healer and take up freelance work in Coghaven to support myself. Finally, he says my existence might mislead his precious stepsister into thinking he still cares for me. So, I nod and accept Coghaven Alpha's hand in marriage, along with the keys to an 18-million-dollar villa as my wedding gift. Not until the very last moment of my previous life did I realize… he had always loved his stepsister. In this life, I’ll let you be together—and from now on, I’ll live for myself alone.

The first thing my fiance's childhood sweetheart—Eve Hodgson—does after returning from abroad is make me sign a bet. It states that if my fiance—Holden Lane—chooses her over me nine times, I'll have to step aside willingly and let her have him. I agree. On the ninth time, she calls him in tears. "If you don't marry me, Holden, I'll be forced to marry that notorious Croft heir from Jedburgh!" He ends the call in a frenzy and leaves me behind yet again. With his identification documents in hand, he rushes to marry her right away. They announce their marriage to the world on the same day. Elites of Jedburgh strain their necks, eager to see me and the Crofts humiliated. That's when Ryland Croft comes to me, smirking with that careless arrogance of his. "Since your fiance stole my bride, it seems only fair that you pay the debt. So, how about you marry me instead?" I nod and say, "Fair enough. When's the wedding?"

To everyone else, I'm the wife of Stefano Pace, the man who runs this city's underworld. To others, I am living the kind of luxury every woman in town envies. But what no one knows is that in three days, I'm leaving my husband for good. It started when I took Stefano's car to wash and spotted a black stocking that wasn't mine wedged in the passenger seat cushions. It was balled up and still reeked of sickly sweet perfume. The sight of it was like a knife to the heart. I knew that perfume. It is Isla Torelli's. She's Stefano's underboss, the only woman besides me who's ever taken the passenger seat. My hand trembled as I gripped the stocking, but I kept my cool. I thought back to our wedding seven years ago, when Stefano stood in front of the whole family and vowed, "If I ever betray you, then betray me a hundredfold!" He probably did not think those words would come true.

On our tenth anniversary, I came home with roses and the biggest deal of my career. I expected celebration. Instead, I found my husband in bed with my cousin. They looked at me like I was the one who had interrupted something that mattered. That night, I walked away from the man I thought loved me and the company I built. They thought I vanished. They rebranded everything in my absence, twisted the story, and erased my name from what I created. But I did not disappear. I became Juliana Cross. And I am not here to beg for what was mine. I am here to take it all back.

(This story may contain violent plotline. Read at your own risk. R18) Leigh is just an ordinary high school girl who wants to finish her studies peacefully, but things don't seem to be going as planned when she witnesses the brutality of Kenji, a guy with a darker past. She began to become involved with this guy that night, no matter how hard she tried to avoid him. Meeting him is a nightmare she never wished for-and as she becomes entangled with Kenji, unexplainable feelings begin to grow inside of her. No matter how much she tries to avoid him, fate has a way of bringing them together. How is she going to get away from him? Will she be able to get away from him, or will the opportunity to change him and make him a better person pass her by?

My boyfriend has always doted on me. However, after learning that I can't go to work at the bank after falling and injuring myself, he snaps at me. "Why didn't you tell me you switched shifts with someone else? That was a cheap move!" I don't refute him. Instead, I pull out a hospitalization record as I watch the bank descend into chaos. In my past life, I attended to a couple who wanted to deposit five million dollars into their account. Their child had been diagnosed with a rare illness. They'd gotten the money by selling their organs and mortgaging the home—it was to save their child's life and pay for the surgery the following day. However, the money was stolen the following day. I helped them check where the money was withdrawn, but the surveillance footage showed I was the one who did it. My best friend wept when the couple questioned me. "You shouldn't have stolen the money someone needed to save a life, no matter how materialistic and covetous you are!" My boyfriend hurried over and said, "I wondered why you suddenly had money to buy a car—you stole it! You're heartless!" The child died after failing to receive treatment in time, and the couple stabbed me to death on the streets out of devastation. When I open my eyes again, I think injuring myself will help me escape this. To my surprise, the surveillance cameras once again capture me stealing the money.