You Re So Dumb Jokes

On the day, my husband, Eugene Doyle, receives the offer to further his studies in the city, he serves me divorce papers instead. I, Maria Johnston, am eight months pregnant with his child. He tries to console me. "Maria, ever since my elder brother, Edgar, passed away, Janice has had nobody taking care of her. She can't survive on her own. "I'll marry her for the time being, just on paper, until she manages to find her footing in the city. After that, I'll come back and marry you again." Everyone assumes that I will patiently and obediently wait for Eugene to return because of my pregnancy. However, I tear up his written oath to me and terminate the pregnancy that same day. Then, with the offer letter for the National Archeology Certification in my hands, I leave our little village and disappear from Eugene's life. Five years later, I become a successful archeologist and return to the same village for a survey. My current husband, Rupert Kingston, can't come at the same time as me due to an emergency meeting, but he has informed the villagers to welcome me with open arms ahead of time. To my surprise, I meet my ex-husband instead. He says, "I know that you lost your baby at eight months. There's no need to be ashamed about it. It's about time you came back after running away from home all those years ago. "Janice is about to give birth. We need you to be her nanny."

After my rebirth, I vow to stop clinging to my fated mate—the man I grew up with—Damon Hale. When he gathers all the healers in the pack for a party in Alohara, I book a flight to Harborwatch. When he complains that my scent makes him and his wolf sick, I move out and hire a deep-cleaning service for 500 dollars. When he orders me to stay away from his pack, I quit my job as Alpha's private healer and take up freelance work in Coghaven to support myself. Finally, he says my existence might mislead his precious stepsister into thinking he still cares for me. So, I nod and accept Coghaven Alpha's hand in marriage, along with the keys to an 18-million-dollar villa as my wedding gift. Not until the very last moment of my previous life did I realize… he had always loved his stepsister. In this life, I’ll let you be together—and from now on, I’ll live for myself alone.

If you're looking for a story with sunshine, unicorns, and cliché endings well you won't find it here. Only Disney does those kinds of stuff, actually, this is a story where hopes and dreams are crushed into tiny little pieces, I know what you're thinking this is so over-dramatic but no, it’s not. I'm just simply telling the truth and the truth can be painful sometimes, anyway this is the tale where our brave main character got caught up with shit. Her life was simple back then robbing banks here and there and hacking stuff but it all changed on a faithful night, which she wants to take back so bad. Now she is plagued into a life with Mafias and Deadly Assassins with everyone out to get her, how can a kid possibly survive through it all? Join Midnight in a fun-filled adventure of a lifetime where she battled her way in a war between the Mafias and assassins, a past that needs reconciling and a promise that needs to be treasured. Where she asks herself in the end, how can a life be so cursed?

Felicia Lawson thought college would be her escape but nothing prepared her for Ian, her sister’s husband or for Jake, the charming upperclassman who made her believe in something real again. While Felicia battles guilt and longing, her roommate Zara hides secrets darker than love, a mafia lineage that’s about to pull her into a marriage with a dangerous don. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - “You’re going to marry me, little sunflower.” Zara’s eyes snap open, the water sloshes as she jerks against my grip, but the chain on her ankle rattles like a laugh. She can’t go far. She can’t go anywhere. “Fuck you,” she spits, voice raw from screaming at the ceiling all night. “I’d rather die.” I smile, It’s small but polite, the kind I used to give people who betrayed me right before I buried them in the ground. “That can be arranged but first..” I curl my fingers inside her, “ you’re going to come on my hand, then you’re going to say yes.”

The day before I am supposed to move into a nursing home, my daughter-in-law, Emily Freeman, cancels the deposit I have already paid without my permission. "It's not easy for Ryan to earn money. Instead of helping us save money, you want to stay somewhere so expensive," Emily complains. I frown and explain that I paid with my own money. Her expression darkens as she rants, "Isn't your money our money? Besides, how much money can you possibly have? Didn't you get all of it from Ryan anyway? "You don't help take care of the kids or do any housework. Now, you're just bleeding us dry so that you can enjoy yourself!" My son, Ryan Pratt, sides with her and criticizes me as well. "Mom, this is such a waste of money. If you ask me, you might as well go to a senior community and get a bed there for ten dollars. Someone will still take care of you." I am so furious that I faint on the spot and am rushed to the hospital. With the refunded money, Ryan takes Emily and goes on vacation abroad with his in-laws. After being discharged, the first thing I do is put the apartment I once gave my son as a wedding gift up for sale with a real estate agent.

During a kindergarten parent-teacher conference, a rich wife accuses me of stealing her bag. I'm baffled. I bought the bag myself abroad, and it even has my name etched on it. However, when I scrutinize the bag, I discover that my name is missing. I call my husband, and he impatiently says, "I gave your bag to Jen. She's fresh out of college and needs an expensive bag to make herself look good. Even Finn said the bag is too young for you—it suits Jen more. You're too old for these things. You should be glad to even have a fake one." I bark out an exasperated laugh. I can go without having a husband, but the bag has to be returned to me.

A simple omega who tries to finish her studies as quickly as possible to get away from the family and the town that hates her, she is only waiting for her 18th birthday and her transformation. Without expecting that that day would be the worst of her life, she would never meet her wolf but her rejection of hers was destined for her, bringing her to the brink of death but she is not even easy to defeat. "I Andrews Wen, Alpha leader of the Silver pack, reject Anastasia Jason as my destined and moon of the pack." My head spun and my chest hurt, my blurred vision only helped me see when Anastasia cut her omega glands, turning into a simple and vulgar human

The first thing my fiance's childhood sweetheart—Eve Hodgson—does after returning from abroad is make me sign a bet. It states that if my fiance—Holden Lane—chooses her over me nine times, I'll have to step aside willingly and let her have him. I agree. On the ninth time, she calls him in tears. "If you don't marry me, Holden, I'll be forced to marry that notorious Croft heir from Jedburgh!" He ends the call in a frenzy and leaves me behind yet again. With his identification documents in hand, he rushes to marry her right away. They announce their marriage to the world on the same day. Elites of Jedburgh strain their necks, eager to see me and the Crofts humiliated. That's when Ryland Croft comes to me, smirking with that careless arrogance of his. "Since your fiance stole my bride, it seems only fair that you pay the debt. So, how about you marry me instead?" I nod and say, "Fair enough. When's the wedding?"

" Please." she croaked out, the pain slowly paralyzing her body. " No! I can't marry you anymore, Sage. You're broken, used, and tainted. How am I supposed to marry you now knowing so many men used you like a fucking public property?" Enrique snapped, glaring at his fiance who was on the hospital bed. " She was raped, Enrique. How can you say this?" Sabrina growled, not believing what he just said. " Not my fault but I can't marry her now. I can't even look at her after knowing how dirty she is. I'm sorry Sage but our story has to come to an end here." Enrique looked at his childhood love, on the bed helplessly drowning in her own tears as he walked out of the room. --- Love lasts all fights but unfortunately, Enrique's love couldn't. He walked out on the very first step leaving Sage to deal with herself. Two years later, he is back in the same town only to marry Sage's sister. Will he regret his decision or will it be too late? Read to find it all out.

(This story may contain violent plotline. Read at your own risk. R18) Leigh is just an ordinary high school girl who wants to finish her studies peacefully, but things don't seem to be going as planned when she witnesses the brutality of Kenji, a guy with a darker past. She began to become involved with this guy that night, no matter how hard she tried to avoid him. Meeting him is a nightmare she never wished for-and as she becomes entangled with Kenji, unexplainable feelings begin to grow inside of her. No matter how much she tries to avoid him, fate has a way of bringing them together. How is she going to get away from him? Will she be able to get away from him, or will the opportunity to change him and make him a better person pass her by?