You Re So Dumb Jokes Novels & Stories

After confirming I was pregnant, I suddenly heard my husband’s inner voice. “This idiot is still gloating over her pregnancy. She doesn’t even know we switched out her IVF embryo. She’s nothing more than a surrogate for Elle. If Elle weren’t worried about how childbirth might endanger her life, I would’ve kicked this worthless woman out already. Just looking at her makes me sick. “Once she delivers the baby, I’ll make sure she never gets up from the operating table. Then I’ll finally marry Elle, my one true love.” My entire body went rigid. I clenched the IVF test report in my hands and looked straight at my husband. He gazed back at me with gentle eyes. “I’ll take care of you and the baby for the next few months, honey.” However, right then, his inner voice struck again. “I’ll lock that woman in a cage like a dog. I’d like to see her escape!” Shock and heartbreak crashed over me all at once because the Elle he spoke of was none other than my sister.

On the night of the Moon Hunt, I was chasing a silver-tailed fox through the forest when the horse beneath me suddenly lost control and threw me down the slope. Right when I was about to fall off the cliff, Xavier Long—the Alpha heir—shifted into his wolf form and pulled me back to safety. However, in the process, his foreleg was slashed by silver thorns, the injury cutting deep into the bone. Because of that wound, when my stepsister, Winnie Sullivan, was later attacked by rogue wolves in the Moon Rite Forest, he couldn’t reach her in time. She died beneath the wolves’ claws. Not long after, the elders of the Frostmoon Pack arranged a mating bond between Xavier and me. He accepted the arrangement calmly. At the time, I thought that even if we weren’t fated to be mates, what we had was no less meaningful. However, I was wrong. When I became pregnant with our first child, Xavier poisoned me with wolfsbane. As I lay dying, he looked at me with indifference and said, “If you hadn’t been wearing Winnie’s pale moon-white cloak that day, I would never have mistaken you for her in the forest, and she wouldn’t have died. If I had another chance, I’d rather watch you die beneath those werewolves than save you again.” Only then did I realize that in Xavier’s heart, he had always considered my stepsister his true mate. He had even once gone to the Alpha to ask for permission to mark her. Then, when I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day of the Moon Hunt.

She had gotten used to being alone, being hidden from the world, but then he came out of nowhere and nothing was the same anymore. He was the first, to let his gaze linger on her, longer than necessary. She tried to ignore him, as much as possible, but he seemed to be everywhere, she was, making it hard, For her. He claimed her as his Partnef in Crime, before she could utter the word, ' no.'

In her third year of dating Jackson Hunter, the cool and proud Lumina Walker took out a secret loan of one million dollars to repay his debt. She even resorted to performing stripteases in a bar. Everything changed when she overheard a shocking conversation between him and his friends. "You're ruthless even to yourself! Just to get back at Lumina, you pretended to be a bartender for three years, tricked her into taking out a loan for you, and used her nude video as collateral. You even got her to strip at your bar! " "If she ever found out that you're the loan shark and own the bar she stripped at… She'd probably drop dead from anger right there and then!" another chimed in. Celia Price was Lumina's living nightmare, her tormentor for nine years since their middle school days—relentless bullying, harassment, and abuse. The painful twist? Celia was Jackson's secret love all along—for a decade, to be exact. Yet Lumina didn't cry, didn't fight back. So when her Uncle Howard called and ordered her to marry the mute oldest son of the powerful Morgan family from Crown City, she agreed without hesitation.

Everyone knew—Jessica Conway had always adored Jack Murray. They were high school lovers, and everyone just assumed they would get married eventually and live happily ever after. But then, there was Abby Conway, Jessica's elder sister who was "gravely ill." On the eve of Jessica and Jack's wedding, he said, "Jess, your sister's really really sick. Let's give her a chance to be the bride for now, alright? You know you're the one I love." Abby echoed, "Jess, promise me you'll come to the wedding, okay?" Jessica clutched the stomach cancer diagnosis in her hands and said nothing. On the wedding day, she never showed up. Jack, realizing her absence, abandoned the ceremony and rushed home—only to find the house empty. The only thing left behind was a single sheet of paper: her final diagnosis. For three days and three nights, Jack knelt before Jessica, begging for a second chance. But she never forgave him. Not even in death.

What happens when you find yourself addicted to your professor, willing to do whatever it takes to do just have her, not caring she is married, but then she turns out to be your aunt, meaning it's a taboo. Can you fight it or you are just going to give in?

For Jonina Samuels, it had always been a hard knock life. Between having an evil step mother and equally evil step siblings, she had lost hope in ever having a good or remotely peaceful life and she had braced herself to take whatever life threw at her.  Nothing really rattled her as she grew older, so when Prince Leonidas Sebastiani met her and tried to offer his friendship, it was like he had collided with a solid brick wall. How will he get her to come to the realization that she's not broken or unworthy of being loved properly?

Annie fell in love at twelve years old with Alexander. It was a chance encounter that led to her living a half fulfilled life. Now at 24, Annie's life is so boring and dull. She needs something to hold onto, and therefore she holds onto her memory with Alexander. That one night that seemed to change everything. Alexander lives a very different life. His life is full of what one might call adventure, loss, and drama. When a chance encounter brings them back together, will Annie find out she was in love with the idea of Alexander, or learn to love the real him.

Vance Haidezo, a charismatic journalist guy. He was assigned for a private TV station project that he was working on. Where he will make a documentary film for the daily life of a billionaire heir. Vance did not expect that the alleged mysterious heir to be is Steven Kiazxon. Steven who was a heartthob, bad boy and his boyfriend when they where in college, whom he still loves dearly. Vance waited Steven after he promised to come back but suddenly disappeared three years ago. Now they meet again. He thought his wait was over but it wasn't because Steven didn't know him anymore who had amnesia. What should he do to make his boyfriend remember him? How would he do that if Steven had already forgotten his true identity? That he can also love and dream of a man like him. "Steven, it's me your Vance. If your mind doesn't remember me, I'll remind you of it in your heart. I feel like you feel that I'm important to you so I'll wait for you to remember me. I read in your eyes that you still love me so I won't give up." What mystery will Vance discover in the incident three years ago that caused Steven to lose his memory?

Emma has lived her entire life in the same house, the house her parents left for her. She has been taught that everyone has some good in them, you only need to find it. She believes that the world is a good place. That changes the night she gets kidnapped and end up in the middle of a mafia family. The men that brought her there show her the other side of life. Bane lives his life in the darkness. His world is filled with pain, violence and the dark side of humanity. As the stapler comes flying at him, he sees an angel for the first time in his life. Someone that peeks his interest and makes him crave to pull her down to his world, to corrupt her. Bane offers Emma a way out, it's not a good deal, at least not for Emma. But it is better than the alternative. Better the devil you know then the devil you don't, right? Trigger warnings: Assult Sexual assult BDSM Explicit language