Zombie Funny Quotes

Grandpa died, and we immediately went for each other's throats over the inheritance. Then a blizzard hit, trapping us all in the family estate. An app appeared on our phones: [THE LAST ZOMBIE: FINAL RECKONING]. We had to pick a hiding spot. The last one standing—the last human standing—would inherit everything. I chose the dark, silent recording studio in the basement. Away from them all. When it was time to pick special powers, my family chose powerful weapons or pocket dimensions full of supplies. I chose Bio-Stasis. It slowed my cells to a crawl, and my body along with them. My stepbrother's fiancée, Chloe, called me an idiot. "Hiding from your family and picking a useless power? You're on a suicide mission." They threw a zombie-slaying party upstairs, already celebrating an inheritance they hadn't even won. Until, one by one, they turned. And started tearing each other apart. What they didn't know... was that I'd rigged the game from the start. The only way to win was to stay completely silent.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?

Tiffie, the gorgeous social media influencer broke up with her famous vocalist of Utopia, Jake Cooper. Her world shattered. In order to mend her broken heart, she visited her vacation house in Las Casas de Amore. There, she met the handsome stranger, Bobby, who caught her with his broad shoulders. It happened that they had the same situation. Broken-hearted and in the healing phase. Bobby promised her that he will help her to forget her ex. Is it true that Bobby can love her? Both of them will just playing each other feelings in the long way. What will happen if one day Jake cooper will come back to take her back? Who is she going to choose? The one who got a way or the one who promised to love her.

Pia Norman is not your average human girl. She is nosy and playfull and a princess of the vandari kingdom . On the other side of the world is Dylan Pendragon who is a cocky, arrogant and a flirty lycan prince What does fate has in store for a this arrogant and flirty lycan prince who is meant to be mated to a nosy and playful orphan princess Extract Dylan's POV The seer walks to the middle of the hall. Walking like it's something very urgent then the King gestured for her to speak. "There is going to be an imbalance in nature and it's going to be soon" said the seer. Everyone face looked pale even Queen Adaline my mother was shocked and asked "how" looking confused The seer stamatia continued.... "A lady will come into the royal family and cause the destruction of lycans and werewolves with her powers" . "Then how do we stop her from coming or destroying us" Dominique questioned getting impatient. The seer thought for a while and continued " we can't stop it from happening but when she is here we will definately do something about the situation" "Then let's find her and kill her" I said leaving the hall.....

Stell is a member of the popular band "high-end." As a member of a famous band, he is accustomed to everything he wants, he gets. Everything he wants goes to him. Everyone praises and adores him. Everyone who likes him, walking to dangerous lane just to crossed and see him. While on the other hand, Sieme, a number one fan of high-end bands. Different from what Stell expected to Sieme, Sieme has no interest to him. For Sieme, Stell was nothing but a plain member of the band that Sieme's adore. And Stell was surprised because of Sieme's reaction towards to him. Unusual to not getting what he wanted, Stell found a way to get closer to Sieme, and that was through Aishia --- Sieme's best friend. On his way along to Semie's heart, will Stell can pass the lane? Or he will make a u-turn, to come back and find another way to another lane?

Sumpah demi apapun, aku jadi istri di umur 17 tahun dan masih KELAS 2 SMA. Baru kemarin ulang tahun dibeliin mobil baru, eh hari ini malah disuruh nikah. Parahnya lagi, calon suami yang dalam hitungan minggu bakal jadi suami aku itu... kakak kelas paling nyebelin, tengil, dan manusia yang hobi banget bikin hidup aku sengsara: Muh. Alif Shadiq. — Nazilla Atsira Chandra Dosa apa di umur semuda ini, aku bakal jadi suami? Diumur 18 tahun udah nikah, bagus kalo calon istri aku anak baik-baik. Lah ini, otaknya geser, cerewet, bawel, manja, dan hobinya bikin hidup gue ribet. — Muh. Alif Shadiq Nazilla—cewek imut, ekspresif, dan selalu jadi pusat perhatian di sekolah—harus menerima kenyataan pahit: hidupnya berubah 180 derajat setelah orang tuanya menjodohkan dia dengan Alif, kakak kelas dingin, kaku, dan anti-sosial yang bahkan nggak pernah diajak ngobrol di sekolah. Dua dunia yang bertolak belakang dipaksa bersatu dalam ikatan pernikahan dini. Nanas yang ceria dan penuh warna, harus belajar menghadapi Alif si “manusia kulkas” yang nyaris nggak pernah menunjukkan emosi. Awalnya, mereka cuma saling menghindar dan saling sindir. Tapi, perlahan, mereka mulai menemukan sisi lain satu sama lain: Nanas yang ternyata nggak cuma cerewet, tapi juga tulus dan setia; Alif yang di balik sikap dinginnya, diam-diam perhatian dan protektif. Di tengah drama sekolah, geng sahabat yang super heboh, dan keluarga besar yang penuh ekspektasi, Nanas dan Alif harus belajar menerima, memahami, dan—siapa tahu—mencintai. Tapi, mampukah dua remaja yang bahkan belum lulus SMA ini bertahan menghadapi dunia yang terlalu cepat memaksa mereka dewasa? Menikah muda bukan akhir cerita, tapi awal perjalanan penuh tawa, air mata, dan kejutan yang nggak pernah mereka bayangkan Terima kasih banyak udah menunggu dari 2016 sampai 2025 ini, novelnya aku edit lebih baik lagi dari awal banget. Mohon dukungan dan masukannya yaa.

 I was married to this sexy hot chic. Nung sinabi ni Dad at Lolo na ipagkakasundo niya ako sa babaeng yun ay hindi na ako nagpatumpiktumpik pa at pumayag agad sa alok nila. Isa pa maganda na nga, sexy at hot pa ang mapapangasawa ko. Kaya nga hindi ko lubos maisip kung bakit nangangamba ang mga Montefalco sa anak nila. Sabi nila baka daw hindi mag asawa ang anak nila at maging tomboy ito. Fck! Sa ganda at sexy niyang yan nangangamba silang maging tomboy yun? Eh baka 'pag nakita niya itong walong abs ko ay magwala na yan. Pero napaurong ang dila ko nang malaman ko ang kinakatakutan nila at pinangangambahan. Mukhang tomboy nga ito eh! Damn! I was just married to my wife, not just an ordinary wife but fck, to an EXTRAORDINARY WIFE!  Lolo, Daddy pwede pa bang mag backout?  

To say that it was a love is an understatement, Tess White was obsessed with the one who hates her guts, and was completely in love with the idea of falling in love with Callum Anderson ever since she was young. However,Callum had a highschool sweetheart and life was at bliss for him until his world collided with Tessa and the next thing he knew, he was married to the girl he hated the most.