Stage 5 - If you are sensing discord

~ The marriage has approached smooth waters- gratitude for what you have built together.~

"Peggy, after almost five years, I finally have the man and kind of marriage I always wanted. Rome has come a long way; he's matured, and his partying ways have diminished. He now has a great job, and recently, his boss threw him a promotion party at the office."

"Oh yeah, how was the party? I know you were so nervous about attending it." 

"It was a nice party. I met his boss and a few of his co-workers. We had a good time. I'm so happy for Rome because he can contribute financially consistently to the household, and you know, men can feel weird when their wives make or have more money than they do."

"Has Rome ever said that to you?" 

"No, but I think that was one of the reasons for his behavior in the past. But now he works a full-time job, and he's moving up the ladder, so he's way more serious and has been more mindful of me and his marital commitment. I thought this would be a good time to start our family. Peggy…I have good news: I'm finally pregnant." 

"Oh wow! Congratulations, Hailey! What did Rome say when you told him?"

"I haven't told him yet. I'm going to tell him on our fifth anniversary. The baby will be my anniversary gift to him."

"Hailey, that's so sweet. It's a great idea; I'm sure he will be thrilled to hear it." 

"I hope so; I know he will, and I'm telling you, he has always been a good husband to me, but now he's exceptional. It's been smooth sailing, and he always tells me how grateful he is to have me as his wife. But most of all, he loves that I'm strong and haven't given up on him. Candance, I'm glad I endured it because look at my marriage now. Don't get me wrong, he still has shortcomings, but don't we all?"

"I'm so happy for you, Hailey."

"Oh, girl, look at the time. We'd better get back to our classrooms. I will ask that they extend our lunch breaks; thirty minutes is not enough. When I bring it up, will you back me at the next teacher workshop?" 

 "Sure, but I don't think we will get far." Candance chuckles, hugging me. "See you later."

*******

I sat at my vanity in our bedroom, moisturizing my limbs, a frown settling on my forehead as I listened to my husband, Rome, humming and singing in the shower. While he had many talents, singing certainly wasn't one of them. I couldn't help but snicker, shaking my head at each off-key note that made my ears ache.

They say, "If you can't sing, sing in the shower." 

Moments later, Rome emerged from the bathroom, a smile lighting up his face. He lovingly pinched my cheek, and I felt my heart flutter and my inner kitty purr. But as I looked up at him, the smile faded, and a cold glare replaced the warmth in his eyes. He walked past me without a word, a bath sheet wrapped around his narrow waist. I sighed quietly, fighting back the comments that threatened to spill from my lips. He had been quiet all evening during dinner, and though I knew he was working hard with his busy schedule, I didn't want to pressure him to talk. So, I continued my usual routine of moisturizing from head to toe.

Once settled into our king-size bed, Rome immediately fixated on his phone. I turned toward him, hoping to catch his gaze, but his eyes remained glued to the screen, as they had most nights lately. For some time now, I'd felt a growing distance between us. When I had asked earlier why he was so quiet, he had explained that his new job required him to be more focused and less chatty. But his silence was turning into a barrier, a wall that seemed thicker each day.

"Good night, honey," I leaned over to kiss his lips. He gave me his jaw.

"Yeah, good night." He said, turning his back on me. No hint of emotion showed on Rome's face. I made my way to my side of the bed, thinking he must be tired again tonight. 'He's worked so hard this week.'

I could hear the gentle rhythm of his breathing, which lulled me into a state of relaxation after a long day of doing wifey stuff. I rise early before work and take the dog for a walk, do a load of laundry, take something out to thaw to prepare for dinner, and then rush like a mad woman to get to work on time. So, I understand it's not easy for either of us, but I love my husband, which makes it worth it.

I reached over and touched his arm, feeling the warmth radiate from his skin. I couldn't help but smile. We had shared countless evenings like this one, but I felt safe knowing he was home, lying next to me as another busy day wound down.

I could hear the soft rustle of the sheets as he stirred slightly, and my eyelids began to grow heavy. Soon, I slipped into the embrace of sleep that awaited me.

Sometime later, I was vaguely aware of movement beside me. My husband shifted, and I could sense him lifting his phone. In the blurry fog of my slumber, I didn't realize what he was doing. A few moments passed, and I fell deeper into sleep, unaware of the small actions happening in the dark.

When I finally awoke again, it was around 1 a.m.; my phone screen's soft glow caught my eye. I blinked a few times to adjust to the light, and as I looked over, I saw a notification I hadn't expected. It was a text message from my husband. My heart skipped a beat, excited to see what sweet words he had chosen to send me as I rested.

But as I read the message, confusion washed over me. It didn't contain the loving sentiments I anticipated. Instead, it was a message wishing someone a good night, filled with tender phrases like "pleasant dreams" and "I can't wait to see you again.

My stomach dropped as I realized that this message was not meant for me; it was intended for someone else.

I felt a mix of shock, confusion, and a tinge of betrayal. Moments earlier, I had been lulled into a blissful rest, utterly oblivious to this reality. Thoughts raced through my mind like a whirlwind. Who was he texting? What did this mean for us? My heart pounded as I lay there, trying to process the implications of what I had just uncovered.

I looked slightly at him, his long lashes resting on his cheekbones, still sleeping peacefully beside me. His face had a calmness I hadn't recognized, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was now living in a different story—one I hadn't signed up for. With my phone still in hand, I wrestled with the shock of it all; it came out of the blue. My thoughts bombarded my brain as I tried to grasp the significance of this discovery.

What was I supposed to do next? Should I wake him right now and confront him? I have to do it. I looked at the message again, trying to read between the lines. It was overly sensual or sexual. So could it be to a dear relative? I had to stop myself. I'm not stupid, and I know how a man talks to a woman with whom he's having an affair. It is what I think it is. How could he betray my trust like this? The questions swirled around like an endless cycle as I lay there, torn between love and betrayal, fighting to understand how this moment could change everything we had built together. The quiet night that once felt comforting now cast a long shadow as I grappled with my new reality.  I took my pillow and a blanket and slept on the sofa. I couldn't stand sleeping next to him.

Bright ribbons of sunlight slanted across the bedroom floor, and I knew immediately I had overslept. I got up and went into the empty bedroom.  I glanced at the clock on my bedside and moaned. It was nearly eight-twenty. 

"I barely slept a wink last night. Now I'm almost late for work."

My mind was filled with what happened last night. It was hard to concentrate in my classroom, but somehow, I managed. The question that stayed with me was, Is he seeing someone else? Rome had never blatantly cheated on me before. I know he's flirted with girls, and they have flirted with him. I know it happened, but that behavior has stopped for years. At least, that's what I thought until last night. 

I stayed in my classroom during my lunch break and ate my lunch. Using the time to stare at the text changed everything. Combining my fingers of both hands through my hair, I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and fighting back the tears.

How could I not know? There were times when I thought I had imagined something was different. The quietness at dinner, smiling for no reason because he wasn't smiling at me.

I sat at my desk, feeling anxious.

My grandmother always said that if it smells like an onion, it is an onion. And like an onion, there were more layers to peel away. Little hints here and there, and I could feel myself hanging on because I didn't know what was wrong.  So, I dismissed it because he promised me he would never cross that line. So, who was that text meant for? Who is this woman, and how far have they gone?

It felt like I was walking through a flame, and the weight of this text in my phone felt like I was carrying a ball and chain. There are never any blaring signs; it happens subtly, like a disease inside you; the signs that something is wrong are so minute, and by the time you realize you're sick, it's always almost too late. Throughout the years, there have been so many times I have stopped the disease from infecting my marriage. I've never been one to ignore a problem, and I won't start now.

I was ready to speak up the minute Rome walked through the door.