I Hate My Mind

 Matilda's POV.

 I nodded, then got up from sitting. Entering the room, I immediately took the smartphone which was being charged.

 I didn't want to disappoint Rexton by letting him come here without me welcoming him. Therefore, I intend to send him a message.

 "Good morning, Babe. Mama took me to the market this morning, you come at ten o'clock when I get home. See you later."

 I took a knee-length green dress from the cupboard, I also took a white smartwatch that I just bought a few weeks ago and white flat shoes.

 Before leaving the room, I took the time to look in the mirror, style my hair and apply cherry red lip balm to my lips so that I looked fresh.

 I chose a perfume with a cheerful scent, then sprayed it at several points so that the fragrance could spread and last long. Standing in front of the mirror looking at my appearance which was good enough to go to the market, I nodded my head. I am ready.

 "Take good care of yourself, Amelie. Lock the door if necessary."

 "Yes, Mum." The lazy girl shouted from the kitchen, who knows what she was making.

 I walked at my mother's side slightly behind me, keeping pace with her slow steps while carrying an empty basket in both hands.

 Mornings on holidays are very enjoyable. No one is in a rush to get to work. Everyone seems to be enjoying their time off.

 Entering the three-quarter size bus, there were already many people inside. They weren't much different in age from mom and most of them also brought baskets, some were already filled, some went home and some weren't, just like my two baskets.

 "Do you want to buy something too?"

 I shook my head. "I don't have much money with me."

 "You can use mine, I'll have the extra money. Do you want clothes, bags or shoes?"

 Again I shook my head. "Everything is still good."

 "Haven't you bought new clothes in the last few years?"

 "That's because my clothes are still good, nothing has been damaged, Mum."

 "Then bags or shoes?"

 "My bag and shoes are still good too."

 "You only have one sling bag, right?"

 This time I nodded. "But it's also still good."

 "Come on, Matilda, you won't buy it with your own money. I'll buy it for you."

 "It's better if you just save the money for other needs. My clothes, shoes and bag are still good."

 "But I haven't bought you anything for a long time, Matilda."

 "Just use the money for other purposes, Mum."

 The bus I was on stopped after ten minutes of driving. Mom and I went downstairs and in front of us there was now a traditional market.

 Mama chose this market because it was quite close and the prices were relatively cheap. Regarding hygiene, Mama usually washes food before putting it in the refrigerator or cooking it.

 There are lots of sellers here, Mama without hesitation stepped into the shops she wanted.

 "We'll buy vegetables there, Matilda."

 I responded with a nod of my head.

 This shop is quite busy with several customers. The seller, who is a man, is very quick in serving buyers who come to his shop. That is satisfaction for customers. Maybe that's also why his shop is busier than the others.

 Mama started choosing some vegetables, looking for the best of the best. Put it in a basin as a temporary storage place and hand it over to the seller to count the amount.

 "Is she your daughter?"

 Mama nodded her head and smiled, that's all. She didn't say anything.

 "Beautiful, looks like it would suit my son."

 "She already has a boyfriend." Mom answered simply.

 I didn't say a single word, everything was answered by mom. After buying vegetables, mom invited me to go to the kitchen spices place.

 Here the sellers are mostly women, although there are also men, but not as many as women.

 Mama stopped at one of the shops, not too big but complete. The seller is an old woman who is around fifty years old.

 "As usual?" She asked kindly.

 From her words, I could tell that mom often shopped here. Mama just nodded her head at the question.

 Even though she is old, she is still enthusiastic about working. She wrapped Mom's order quickly and counted it.

 "Thank You." Her smile made the lines of her face even more visible. "Your child is beautiful, just like you."

 I smiled at her compliment, then nodded slightly. Mom did the same thing, only she said thank you to her.

 Mama's footsteps now went deeper. There are many items for sale here.

 "We buy fruit there. You know, the seller is you childhood friend." 

 My forehead frowned. "Childhood friend? Who?" My voice is soft, it's natural that mom doesn't hear. This market is very noisy, lots of people talking.

 I continued to follow her steps wherever she went. Until finally she stopped at a shop with lots of fruit in it.

 A man in the shop had not yet noticed my presence. He was busy serving other customers.

 "Hi, Devan, do you remember her?" He just turned around when my mother said that.

 I saw him pensive for a moment, maybe trying to remember who I was. Huh, did he forget about me? I just still remember him.

 Devano Fernandez, I met him when he was still in kindergarten. Just like me, he doesn't like to meets a lot of people. That's why we became close friends.

 "Matilda?" Both eyes looked at me.

 "I didn't expect you to still remember me."

 "You know, I almost didn't recognize you. You're getting prettier after not seeing each other for so long."

 I chuckled. "That means I wasn't beautiful before?"

 "No, it's not like that, I--I mean you were beautiful then and you are very beautiful now."

 "How dare you say that I wasn't very beautiful before."

 "Argh, that's not what I meant, Matilda." He looked desperate and I chuckled at that.

 Mama was the same, her hands were choosing fruit but she was listening to my conversation with Devan. She chuckled too.

 Without me realizing it, mom had finished selecting some fruit. Grapes, apples, oranges and mangoes are already in one container ready to be counted.

 "Don't mind what she says, it's hard to talk to a girl. Even though I'm a woman, I feel it too."

 "That's how it is, you are patient enough to be her mother."

 Mom laughed. "I'm already immune to everything she says."

 "Thank you very much." He smiled getting money from my mom. His eyes then looked towards me. "Can I have your cell phone number, Matilda?"

 He is my best friend, there is no way I can refuse his request. That would disappoint him.

 Just opened my mouth and had not had time to speak, mama had already taken over the answer.

 "She already has a boyfriend."

 Our eyes met for a moment. He smiled so stiffly. "S--sorry."

 I nodded. "Nevermind."

 Looks like mom is too proud of Rexton. This man is very handsome, charismatic, masculine, firm, especially since he is an Alpha.

 I didn't expect that mom would reject many men for Rexton so that my relationship with him would remain good. While I'm alone? Levin, I remember him again.

 It was a quarter to ten when I got on the bus. Looks like my estimated time is quite right, mom and I will arrive home around ten o'clock.

 "Don't be too friendly with men, Matilda. You already have a boyfriend, don't hurt his heart."

 Mom's words are true. I shouldn't maintain this attitude. "Rexton understands me, Mum, after all we are just friends."

 "You and Alpha Rexton must have also been just friends."

 My heart felt like it stopped for a moment when I heard it. What she said was true.

 I was silent the entire journey. My eyes wandered far outside the bus, looking at everything that passed by.

 The two baskets I brought were all full and it was heavy. Getting off the bus, I hurriedly took him home.

 "Rexton has arrived." I whispered when I saw his car parked in front of the house.

 "Why don't you said if he's coming to visit?" Mom's face looked annoyed.

 "I told him to visit at ten, Mum."

 "It must be more than ten o'clock. An Alpha can't be punctual."

 The smartwatch in my hand shows 10.10AM, what mom said is again true.

 I couldn't find Rexton around the car. I don't know where he is now. Could he already be inside with Amelie? Just the two of them?

 I put the two baskets that were completely filled in the living room, I walked into the quiet house. I don't know where they are.

 "Amelie, are you in there? Why is the door locked? What are you doing there?"

 My thoughts got worse when I saw Amelie's bedroom door closed, even locked. Are they inside? Would Rexton do this to me? Are they that brave? I don't know why, all this is clearly visible in my head. Instantly I hated that lazy girl even more.

 The door to the lazy man's room still hasn't opened and my hand is still knocking on it. The longer I get more annoyed, I feel like I want to break down this door immediately.

 "Matilda, what are you doing?"

 Mama was standing not far behind me, there was also Rexton in casual clothes who was so handsome.

 He wasn't in Amelie's room, my thoughts had gone this far. Is this all the effect of the actions I did behind his back?

 "What are you doing, Matilda?" Mama asked again, this time her voice sounded softer.

 A room door open. I saw her messy hair and shabby clothes. She also yawned right in front of me.

 "What is it?" She asked, blinking a few times.

 "Waking Amelie up." I answered curtly, then went to the room.

 My going here is not without reason. I haven't deleted Levin's call and message history on social media. I also haven't blocked his contacts who might suddenly call me while I'm with Rexton, considering that Levin doesn't seem to know that I already have a boyfriend.

 After everything was finished, I went back out. I saw Rexton at the dining table with mom who was busy frying something in the kitchen. I approached and sat next to him.

 "Have you been around long?"

 Rexton shook his head. "Not yet."

 "Why when I arrived you weren't there?"

 "Oh, I bought cigarettes." He took out a pack of cigarettes which was still tightly sealed. "I forgot when I ran out of cigarettes, I was going to smoke a cigarette while waiting for you to come home. Apparently when I came back you were also here. So I just saved my cigarettes for later."

 The feeling of guilt increased in my heart. Not only did I chat and give Levin my cell phone number, but I also accused Rexton of doing something crazy.

 I don't hate Amelie, especially Rexton, I hate my mind and myself.