Between Maybes

Twisted Fate

“Damn!”. My eyes grew wider when I saw Levy sitting while looking at his bloody hands. Agad akong tumayo di alintana ang putokan. My heart pounding like there are horses’ rattle to have a race.

“Elijah!!”. Yuhan shouted but I ignores him. I rushed towards Levy.

“N-NO!!!”. I screamed top of lungs when he closed his eyes. I saw him mouthed I love you. Na mas lalong nag pasikip sa dibdib ko.

“Baby! Baby! Baby! No! Wake up!”.

Panicked is now evident in my voice.

I feel my eyes watered immediately as I held him tight in my arms…again…almost lifeless. Not again!

“I’m sorry baby, wake up!”. I trembled.

“Oh! God! Levy! No!”. Chimuel now is crying hysterically.  

I heard numerous curses from Namu and Yuhan. Happy and Jano are also crying while keeping the distance. I didn’t let anyone carry him. I held him tight as I can. Not again. I feel like I died a million times seeing him lifeless.

“Elijah, you have to trust them!”. Mariing saad ni Namo while patting my shoulder to re-assured me. Wala na din akong nagawa kundi ipaubaya sa kanila ang lahat.

We anxiously waiting at the emergency room along with Gonzales couple, Yuhan and Chimuel. Happy decided to call Levy’s family abroad.

Hindi ko mapigilang sisihin ang sarili ko. If I didn’t take reckless actions, hindi sana nangyari to.

I saw Matias standing at corner of the hallway. My brows furrowed he should be at the mansion right now. Although I know, kahit na nagkahiwalay na kami ni Levy he still cares for him.

“What brings you here?”. I coldly asked.

“May nahuli silang tauhan ni Morgan–

“Why didn’t you tell me right away?”. Pagalit kung saad.

“I–I’m sorry, Elijah”.

Pinakalma ko ang sarili as I patted his back. Matias nod, understand the situation. I’ve been torn between. I want to be at Levy’s side while doing the operation but knowing that someone can lend us towards Morgan ay di ko na pinalampas pa. Agad akong nagpaalam sa kanila, Yuhan insisted to come with us.

Namo decided to stay for his husband and Chimuel.

My mind blurred because of my rage towards the person who is being interrogated.

“H-hindi po naming alam kung nasaan siya”.

“HOW COME??”. I shouted. That Morgan! I’ll tear him into pieces when I find him.

“T-tinatawagan n-niya lang kami p-para sa misyong ito. He wants us to aim the doctor who’s with Mr. Tan”.

Yuhan gasps.

Napapikit ako ng mariin.

We saw the scattered photographs of Levy in front of him. Ayun sa mga police ay nakuha nila ito sa sasakyang dala nito along with a bag of money.

They tailed Levy. Napapikit ako ng mariin. How did this slips in my mind!

The person was trembling. I can’t hold my anger.

“M-Mr. Ricaford may p-pinapasabi po siya s-sayo”.

Tinitigan ko ang lalaking naka gapos sa harapan.

“S-Sabi niya po, “This time I’ll make sure to aim the right target”.”

It is Levy? He’s targeting Levy! The target is Levy! Damn!

I almost lost my mind. Lalong nadagdagan ang galit ko. Kinuyom ko ang aking kamao at nagkatinginan kami ni Matias. I know he is also thinking about it. All this time pinaniwala niya akong si Mina ang target nito. I remember the time that Matias told me that Levy received an anonymous letter that written “I’ll make sure to aim the right target”.

Guilt is creeping in me. Bakit ko pinabayaang mangyari ito?

Napahimalos ako sa aking palad dahil sa frustration habang nakatingin kay Levy na nakahiga sa hospital bed. Sa pangalawang pagkakataon pakiramdam hindi ko kakayanin. I let him leave to protect him ngunit nasaan ito ngayon? I feel so dumb!

Shit! Morgan I promise to kill you when I see you!

I hold Levy’s hands. It’s been 24 hours wala pa ring pagbabago sa lagay nito. May dalawang tama ng bala ang kanyang katawan. Sa tagiliran at sa dibdib. I almost lost my mind again.

“Baby please hold on”. Marahan kung bulong habang hawak ang kamay nito.

“I’m sorry Elijah, but we have to bring my nephew with us”.

Natigilan ako. Levy’s family is here to claim him, walang magawa si Chimuel at Yuhan lalong wala akong magagawa.

Yuhan tap my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, bro”. marahan nitong saad.

Napapikit ako.

“I can’t…hindi ko kaya”. I can’t hold my tears anymore. Not again. “Yuhan, do some-”

“Sana naisip mo yan bago mo siya niloko at pinakawalan”. Chimuel cut my words.

Hindi ko siya niloko! I want to shout them, but I can’t. Wala akong lakas para ipaliwanag ang sarili ko.

Those words that came out from Chimuel’s mouth are like dagger that stabs directly into my heart.

Hindi ako nakaimik. How can I explain this? That I broke up with him to keep him safe but still I failed?

Dinig ko ang buntong hininga ni Yuhan.

“Elijah dude, hindi ko alam kung paano o ano ang nararamdaman mo ngayon. I understand if you’re hurting but remember that, you hurt him bro, ilang linggo siyang nagkulong sa kwarto niya ng maghiwalay kayo. Paano si Mina? Is she really pregnant? You are engaged with her and Levy’s bound to study for his master’s abroad. Hindi sa nakikialam ako, this is just my opinion. Let him go man…lalo na hindi pa nahuhuli ang gumawa nito sa kanya and that Morgan knew now that he is your weakness”.

“I think you should focus your attention to your future family”. Saad nito.

Hindi ako kumibo. Thinking that I won’t see him again hurts me so bad. Mina? My grandma assumes things that are impossible. I only loved Levy.

“Levy loves you, no doubt that but he’s hurt and this happened”.

Now thinking of what Yuhan said I am happy that I did the right decision. Letting him go and grow.