6

Elaine.

“Mom?” The little boy turned back from the window, the cool summer breeze tousling his dark curls about. I smiled, using a finger to wipe away the dried milk at the corner of his lips. “When are we going to stop?”

“Soon, baby.” I carried him up onto my lap. The moving truck ran into a pothole, sending us bumping up and down. Finn giggled, thrusting the wheat biscuit he was holding against my nose.

The truck eventually came to a stop and Finn rushed out of my grasp to the window again, pointing at the two-story house with faded blue weatherboards. “Is this our new home, Mommy?”

I drew in a deep breath before nodding. “Yes, baby. We’re home.”

God, how relieving that felt.

Our new home was located in a quiet neighborhood with a wide, empty street. It had a huge veranda that wrapped around the house, beautiful marigolds past the posts, and a cobblestone path flanked by wild garden gnomes leading up to the front steps. The air was moist and had the smell of old books mixed with nature. My gaze scanned the well-cut, neat lawns of the other houses around as Finn and I went down.

I bent, coming face level with him. He smiled as I pinched his chubby cheeks. “You like it, don’t you? Now you have enough space to play in the backyard.”

He nodded happily, munching on his biscuit. His little eyes settled on the said backyard and he asked, “Will you get me a bicycle also? I'd like to ride it there too.”

“Anything for you, baby.” I straightened, patting his head. The fear I’d felt over the coming weeks leading up to this had vanished. Now, I am proud to have pushed myself this far. This was the fresh start we needed. The fresh start I wanted for my son.

The last five years could’ve been different, and I wonder if things could’ve been better if it was different. My dreams of becoming a well-known editor are all but a distant memory now. I could still go back to it, though. But I was in a different place where I had the future of my child to consider before my own.

I’d gotten engaged to three different guys; two before I realized that a life was growing inside me, and one shortly after Finn was born. It was a fleeting disaster and after the last arsehole rained abuse at me for trying to pin him down with a baby that wasn’t his, I decided to put a hold on men and relationships forever. I had to quit my editing job when the pregnancy clocked eight months because my irrational mood swings were getting in the way of work, and the trauma was terrifying. Writing and editing were what I loved. It was my life. But I lost everything.

The pregnancy was a big blow to my mental health because I couldn’t place a finger on how it happened. I didn’t even bat an eye when I began getting heavier and craving odd meals. My flatmates insisted I see a doctor but I dismissed their opinions. In my mind I was fine, just adding a little weight. When I noticed the rate at which my tummy began growing, I rushed to the hospital, afraid that I was becoming obese. I went with Cora.

“Miss Matthews, did you come alone?” the doctor, a middle-aged brunette with emerald eyes asked, pushing her glasses back from the tip of her nose. I shook my head, panic set in.

“Is there something wrong? Am I getting obese? Is it bad news?”

“Bad news? Well, of course not!” She said it like it was the most absurd thing she’d ever heard. “This is the best news every woman deserves to hear. I’m only asking if you came with someone…probably your husband, so I can share the good news with the two of you.”

A million possibilities of what the good news entailed flashed through my mind, none of them plausible enough. “I’m lost here, ma’am. I did come with a friend though.” I’d left Cora in the waiting room after my name was called. When she tried to stand up, I held her arm and assured her I could handle things alone.

“Is she your friend or…” she waved a hand in the air. I understood what she meant.

“Gosh, no. That would be silly. She’s a very dear friend,” I picked up my phone and placed a dial across Cora’s line. She picked up the first ring like she’d been expecting it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Cora, can you please come down to the doctor’s office? I need you right now.”

When she was seated beside me ten minutes later, the expression on her face mirrored mine. The doctor smiled at the both of us, flipping the already opened seal of my test report. “I have good news. Elaine here…is three weeks pregnant.”

For a split second, we sat there. Frozen.

Then I burst out laughing, because that what was the most absurd thing I’d ever heard. Having a baby I didn’t plan for while on contraceptives? It was rare.

“Doctor, that can’t be possible. I’m on contraceptives, right Cora?” I turned to her and she nodded. “There’s got to be a mix-up somewhere. Naturally, I don’t feel sick and I know I’m getting fat, but it’s solely because I’m eating too much.”

“I can assure you that my nurses and colleagues are efficient enough. Our medical equipment is also in good condition, but if you feel that the test results are wrong you can check out another hospital.”

It was a three-hundred and sixty-degree moment, and I’d fallen into a severe depression for weeks. My parents in New Zealand stopped picking up the phone after I revealed my dilemma and my job became more demanding. I was advised to abort the baby countless times and I almost did. But standing here, staring at the miracle baby, I couldn’t be thankful enough that I’d kept him. He was the best thing to ever happen to me – the most precious gift I’d ever gotten.

It could get hard sometimes – the stigma of being a single mom. The arsehole I’d dated after putting him to bed called me a slut and said some horrible things I never wish to recollect, but I’d given him a good punch for it. If I wanted to get married, which I didn’t think was still possible after all I’d been through, I wanted a man who could love not only me but my son as well wholeheartedly. Cora, who wouldn’t stop apologizing for leading me from the club to Max, who was Finn’s father and now a distant memory, had pledged her undying support. We were still best of friends even after I’d grown apart from her and the girls in the quest of finding myself again.

Who knows, now that I was in New York, I’d find a job in a writing-affiliated company and be paid enough money to save up a deposit and get Finn and me our own home? There were so many unexplored possibilities…it was thrilling, to say the least.

I knew I couldn’t stay single forever. Finn had missed out on having a father figure these past four years of his life, and I couldn’t let that linger until he was a teenager and could understand things himself. I watched his eyes each time his peers ran up to their mommies and daddies at the close of school while I stood amid the reunion moments alone. Each time he asked about daddy, I told him that daddy was away and would be returning soon.

“How long?” He’d pout adorably. “He’s been gone for months. Did he forget about us?”

I’d ruffle his hair and reassure him yet again. “Daddy hasn’t forgotten us, dear. He’s just really busy at work. You'll meet him soon enough.”

If fate willed it, I would meet a nice divorced man with grown children someday and fall in love. That would put an end to the tears and guilt that came with Finn’s questioning.

Cora was coming in from Manhattan tonight and was staying with us for a year. She had an internship to get down to and wanted to get me settled so I could find a good job and childcare for Finn. She was my soul mate, the best friend anyone could ask for. She’d been rooting for me ever since I revealed my plans to move out of our shared flat. She loaned me more than half of the money I needed to make a down payment with the landlord. She was my very own guardian angel.

Finn tugged at my dress impatiently. “Mom, when are we going in?”

“Now, son, come on,” I held his hand, dragging my feet forward. It was a hassle getting through the garden gnomes and I had to carry him up in my arms so his pants wouldn’t get wet.

He squealed in delight when I slowly drew open the blue double doors. “Wow, Mom. It’s big!”

I chuckled, eyes taking in the large room. There was a grand foyer with high ceilings and a lounge room to the left. When I opened the wooden door on the right, I walked into a double garage. Finn clapped his hands happily.

At the end of the hall, we found the kitchen, large enough for five people to cook and move about freely without a hassle. A second living area was on the right, together with a dining room, bathroom and pantry. The bedrooms were further down – three and surprisingly spacious enough. I decided that the first one would be Cora’s during the duration of her stay. Finn started jumping about the minute I placed him down. “Is this my room?”

I shook my head. “It’s for Aunt Cora. Yours is the next one.”

As soon as I’d said that, he pattered down the corridor to the second room, dancing in glee. My heart fluttered at how happy he looked.

“I love this place, Mommy!” he jumped off the bed and engulfed me in a hug. I laughed, taking him up in my arms once again. The house was more than fantastic. Fabulous.

“Mommy loves it too, baby. Mommy loves it too.”