A Journey's Start (S)

Rushing footsteps, banging of doors, and loud voices followed by howls are what wake me. My eyes open heavily, panic springing me to my feet as I realize I fell asleep in this tiny storage room. I quickly check myself before exiting. The sight is what the sound portrays; wolves scuttling around as they bring in fresh kills and pack them up, some waking from their easily disturbed slumber, others already waiting to get a move on. The Tyrant did say we would move at dawn. By the looks of it, time draws near. So I went back to the room, where I had changed my clothes, to find some better ones for the trip.

As I pack, I think of everything that’s happened. Everything that will happen. I’m leaving my home. Ruined, desecrated, my pack murdered by the one I now serve. Whether it’s luck that’s dancing on my side, or the fact that I lacked loyalty, either way, the tide has turned in my favor. There’s no use in dwelling on it.

'Or so I tell myself.'

Strapping up the bag that I found, my hands pause as I feel warm droplets on my skin. The burn in my eyes is greater than before, and the tears I’ve held in find their way out. Taking shallow breaths, I sling the bag onto my shoulders and wipe my eyes with hurried strokes.

'I’ll be fine. I’ll survive.'

My ankle is in no condition, and my ribs are still hurting, but I’ll manage.

Leaving the room, I head downstairs. Only then, surrounded by wolves, do I walk normally. I exit through the entrance. My breath grows still.

A mountain of corpses, burned, charred, not fully turned to ash, covers the center in front of the old pack house. Gideon’s is on top of it; the fire didn’t even reach him yet, before it died out. It feels like I’m underwater as I take in the sight, shudders passing through my body, and I can’t hear anything. If cruelty had a name, it would be Malphas.

A touch on my shoulder, a heavy hand laying on it, pulls me out of my daze. Another shudder, and I know by the smell who it is. He pulls me along, my feet moving despite myself. I look up, his gaze away from me as we walk to the front of the group gathered around the pack house. I don’t take much notice of the stares of his soldiers, my mind preoccupied with what’s about to go down.

We stop just ahead of the group.

“The path. You will lead it. But explain it just in case.” Malphas commands, his rugged voice just above my head. His arm remains around me, and once again, I find myself seeking the stability from him. I swallow, looking at all the wolves in front of me. Some still shifted, some in their human forms, their eyes trained on me. Their journey depends… on me.

“The…” I breathe, feeling winded from every emotion coursing inside of me. Fear, guilt, pain, remorse, a cocktail that would knock anyone down to their knees. Putting more pressure on my injured leg, I let the physical pain clear my thoughts. Focus. Breathe. So I start again.

“The cave that leads out to the ravine passage is upstream. We’re just at the foot of the mountain, but it’s a day’s journey at best…The river,” I turn to my left, pointing just beyond the village outskirts, “Is our compass. If anyone gets separated, just follow the river. The woods are dense, but they’re not impossible to get through.” The last word ends in a quiver as I catch a glimpse of the corpses behind the group. I quickly avert my gaze, staggering a bit to my right, closer to Malphas. His arm, as if it’s an instinct, tightens around my shoulders. “If we keep a steady pace, we’ll reach it before sundown.”

Some of them nod. Others just stare. Not knowing what else to say, I look up at the Tyrant. His eyes are already on me, an unfamiliar heat bursting in my belly. He nods and then looks up at his men. It only takes a gaze, and the cracking of bones and ripping of clothes start. The rest, which have been in human form, all shift into their wolves. From their sizes, I can discern that most of them are Betas, with a few Alphas in the ranks. The two or three that are left are putting heavy, saddled bags on top of some wolves. No doubt filled with meat and clothes.

The arm on my shoulder disappears. Only for two hands to grasp my waist and lift me up. I flail, surprised, until I feel a solid, warm surface below me.

“Oh, woah,” I let out, hands touching the fur of a dark wolf Malphas has lifted me onto, causing me to straddle his back. Unsure and in shock, I look at him, but he’s already walking away. The wolf beneath me growls, moving slightly, and my hands tighten on his fur. He jerks into a run, snapping my upper body backwards and eliciting a slight squeal from me.

Wind whizzes past my ears as I bend forward, my vision momentarily blurry before my brain catches up to what is happening. We’re running. Wolves, left and right, behind and ahead, running upstream, following the river. My heart hammers, and even though the wind makes my eyes water, they stay wide. Riding the wolf feels unstable, like I’m being thrown about. I can feel every muscle in him working, effortlessly, as he goes faster and faster. This speed, strength, and the pack of them moving in sync… We’ll reach the cave within hours.

It’s exhilarating. Almost surreal to me. Moving so fast that the trees and the ground become a blur. I have never run. Not like this. Not with my pack. Not with anyone. It feels…freeing. Like it’s casting away all of the emotions tying me to my village. To my home. Pulling me further and further away from the grief that should be rendering me useless for days.

It wasn’t often that I wished I had my wolf. I’d ignore the bitter thoughts as a kid, and as an adult, I would ignore the first kindling. But now…feeling it, experiencing a portion of what my kind can do, it’s impossible not to wish, just for a second…that I wasn’t so different.

It’s a loud, electrifying howl that captures my attention next. The wolves respond to it, growling as they speed up. The front is pulling the back to go faster and faster.

'Malphas.'

He must’ve shifted. I look around, but I don’t see him anywhere, and with the surroundings blurring as we run past them, it’s impossible to make out where he could be. Even a sense of smell is useless when the wind carries everything away.

The ground shifts soon enough, the first stretch of the river revealing itself quicker than I could’ve anticipated it. With the surface tilting upwards, the pace feels slower, less steady. Knowing what’s ahead, an odd sense of worry crosses me. So I lean over to the wolf’s ear.

“The ground will be more unstable further up. It’s not even, and it's covered in moss.” I speak, squinting my eyes as the wind grows just a bit colder. The wolf beneath me lets out a huff, his eyes glowing a blue like the moon’s light. He lets out a howl, and then a shorter one right after. It’s amazing how wolves can communicate through the bond their Alpha creates. The stronger the leader, the stronger the connection.

A minute or two passes, and the same strong howl comes from somewhere above us. I look up, noticing how the trees tilt and move in an irregular motion…Is he in the damn trees? Bewildered, I’m surprised when I catch a glimpse of a form. Too fast for my dulled eyesight to fully grasp. I realize he must’ve told them to continue, since the speed we’re going at hasn’t reduced. He’s ignoring my advice, which makes me worry that this trip won’t be sailing steadily for long.

Not that I should worry about it. It’s his pack. His rules. 'My life on the line.'

'Like hell I’m not going to worry about it.'

Leaning over again as we reach the rocky part that will take us further up the base, I speak once more.

“The rocks could be slippery and unstable. It’s not a nasty fall, but it’s a narrow way up. Go around it.” The wolf, this time, lets out a bark. Annoyance or perhaps acknowledgement, but he still lets out a howl, and his eyes glow again. I count the seconds in my head, expecting another thunderous cry from above. It doesn’t come. The wolves keep moving.

'Great. Might as well throw me in the river.'

I cling onto the wolf’s fur and neck as he runs, jumping up, passing rocks, over and around. The formation doesn’t break. Not once. I almost feel stupid for even worrying that some of them will slip-

Whine. Crunch. Thud.

As if on cue with my thoughts, a wolf slips off a rock, falling to the side, away from the river. And then another.

'Nope. Not stupid.'

Despite that, the wolves keep moving upwards. And the pace keeps on going steady. I’m forced to listen to some of them whining as they fall, slipping off the sides away from the river, or into it. Luckily, it’s a shallow bed, so they won’t be too hindered unless they get injured.

Unable to resist, though, I look up, catching the movement of the trees and the form that keeps dashing through them. I’m trying to glare with all my might, but I just end up squinting because of the wind in my eyes. Eventually, I lowered my head. The wolf I’m riding seems worried, his eyes darting left and right, as if trying to guess which of his comrades is going to fall off next. Luckily, he keeps to the middle, his paws stable for the most part.

As we continue, the ground becomes less rocky, still going uphill. The second stretch comes. I realize the time I said would take was meant for my pace. Since I can’t shift, I have to go on two feet. Running uphill on two legs and not much stamina is like giving an asthmatic man a cigar. For most of it, I walk. What I thought would be a day’s trip, for them it’s less than an hour.

And so it was.

Within several minutes of uphill running, I see the first glimpses of the cave. Astonished, I let out a breath as the pace slowed down and we reached the very entrance. I hadn’t thought it through, but then again, I didn’t think I’d be on top of a wolf, whizzing past everything like a bird in the sky.

He comes to a stop, his breath fast, and I slide off of him to the ground. The pain shoots up from my ankle, ribs following next as I inhale sharply. I ignore it the best I can.

Crashing from the sky, the very Lycan on my thoughts lands heavily in front of me. I freeze at the wall of muscle and fur, shaped like a beastly man. Gaze travelling up till I meet the blazing red eyes that glare at me. His transformation is grizzly, bones cracking into place and shrinking until he’s standing in front of me in his human form.

Butt. Ass. Naked.

All of them shift. None of them is wearing even a piece of clothing. Eyes wide, I look up towards the sky. I don’t know where to look. Anywhere my head turns, there’s a naked man, crown jewels on display like apples on a stand. I can feel my cheeks heating uncomfortably. My arm is grabbed, and I’m dragged away closer to the entrance by the Lycan who holds my life in his hands.

“Your interruptions were unnecessary. Do not question my decisions again.” He grunts out, eyes directed into mine as I look at him.

“I’m sorry, interruptions?” I retort, a sliver of courage enticed by worry unraveling my tongue, “You mean the fact that I explicitly said it’s going to be unstable going up the rocks? Or did you just ignore the fact that half the group has rolled off down the sides?”

“When I wish for your input, I will ask!” He thunders, stepping into my space and causing me to shrink back away from him. His chest is right in front of me, and I can’t look down or away.

“You might have a thick skin, they might have a thick skin, but I don’t!” I, with whatever emotion is carrying me, raise my voice back. The anger that crosses his features briefly is dulled by something akin to understanding. “If his…paw slipped even an inch, we would’ve fallen off. Who’d lead you across the ravine then? My ghost?”

The sarcasm is his last straw. He grabs my arm roughly, pushing me through the entrance of the cave. The grip is tight and bruising, and his shove causes me to stagger. I grit my teeth through the pain, finding my footing anyway.

“Enough. Walk.” He growls menacingly. A shudder passes my bones, seeing his claws extending. Biting my tongue, I turn my back to him and begin walking.

Screw survival, reasoning with a brick wall is harder than walking on a bad leg. I swallow the pain, keeping myself steady as I walk into the darkness of the stony, damp cave. This journey has only started, and already I’m losing my wits. Whatever keeps his anger away from me, I hope it keeps doing its job.

I know my mouth won’t.