Bound by Blind Fate

              He was everything I'd ever dreamed he would be. Blonde, blue eyes, high cheekbones, straight nose, plump lips and already mated. With two kids on top. Talk about karma. As I'm handing him his phone back, our fingers brush. The little contact sending shocks of electricity up my hand and straight to my heart. My wolf whines halfheartedly, knowing what is coming next but surprisingly, not scared. Maybe because we expected this. The moon goddess is punishing me for that one mistake, although I refuse to see it as a mistake. It was a decision made by two people who... I shake my head to clear those thoughts. What good would it do to live in the past? He probably has two kids, too, or more.

"Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be" I reply nervously. This isn't something people do every day "You go first"

"Before that, I want to tell you how sorry I am"

"You've already apologized. Please just say the words and get it over with" so that I can find a hole to crawl in and cry my eyes out for the next fifty years. I am going to be alone. The only chance I had to forget him just went out the window when I found out my mate isn't mine. I'd hoped he would save me from this madness. Erase his touch and kisses from my body and replace them with his. But what do you know? Even he is taken. The one person who was meant to be mine isn't mine. What am I going to do?

"I, Fred Upton, reject you, Sophia Rush"

"I, Sophia Rush, accept your rejection, Fred Upton"

I see the tears shining in his eyes, feel his regret at letting me go, and feel even worse. He truly is sorry for not waiting for me but what can we do? I can't ask him to leave his family. Maybe I would have fought for him if the children weren't in the picture but I can't bring myself to tear apart a family. I know first-hand how painful it is to be left behind. Because I've gone through that twice already. But damnit! How can fate be so cruel?

He was supposed to be mine.

"I hope you have a happy life. Don't worry about me. In a way, I think I was ready for this. Somehow I knew it wouldn't work out between us"

"How would you know if you never even tried?" He snaps at me and I twist my head back in shock.

"Don't use that tone with me when you are the one who has a family" I throw back. I only gave my heart to someone else. I didn't start a family with him. But I would have done it if he'd asked. Goddess knows I would have mated with him right there and then. If only... Too many ifs.

He bows his head in shame "I'm sorry. I just..." He pauses and takes a deep breath then looks up at me "Can I have one kiss?"

"Wouldn't that be cheating?"

"No. Anais would understand. She told me it was okay to uh... Um be with you for one night" he says rubbing his neck. The tips of his ears red. I'm offended that she thinks she can rent me, my own mate, for one night. If I was a bitch, I'd take that offer and while we're in the middle of sex, mark him. He'd mark me back because the mate pull wouldn't allow him to walk away. Even now, we're both finding it hard to walk away. But I'm not a bitch. That's my mother's expertise.

"In plain terms, she's okay with you having sex with me as long as you go back to her. Is that right?"

"Don't misunderstand her. She just wanted to give me a chance to know what it's like to be with your real mate because she'll never know. Hers died shortly after they met"

"Well, either way, I don't think it's right for us to kiss. Since you chose her, just stick with her to the very end"

His face falls making me wonder if he really thought I would jump into bed with him "You're right. I hope you won't hate me. It's too much to ask but I hope you won't hate me for not waiting and I wish you would find someone who would love you because you deserve it. Because you're beautiful and kind and..."

"You don't need to say that. Like I said, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me" the fucking compliment sandwich. Never thought I'd live to hear it but here we are.

"Okay"

Before things get awkward, I point at the door "You can leave. I'm just going to sit here for a while" he gets up, takes a few steps, stops, turns around, and comes back to where I am. Before I can ask if he has forgotten something, he bends down and takes my face in his hands. Kissing my forehead.

"You will find the right man for you" he murmurs before leaving. Fucking hell. That stupid sentence is my undoing.

Tears burn at the back of my eyes and I struggle to keep them at bay. I already found that man, but he'd forgotten about me the second he met his mate. After everything that happened between us, he hadn't even bothered to say goodbye when I left. All these years I'd hoped my mate would help me forget him. I'd held on to the fact that our connection would tramp every other feeling. Just as how it was supposed to be. How could I have known that he too had already chosen someone else? If I'd found out earlier, would it have made any difference?

Deep down I know my tears aren't for Fred. Yes, I'm heartbroken that he has a wife and kids but that isn't the reason I feel like bawling my eyes out. It's the idea of being stuck with his memory forever. Of remembering every single touch and kiss but knowing those touches and kisses now belong to another. Of being stuck pining after a man who was never meant to be mine. Of the fact that I already knew Fred couldn't erase those memories even if he'd waited for me. What had I been thinking back then? Falling stupidly in love with someone who wasn't my mate?

My wolf whines, retreating, further in my mind, silently blaming me for our predicament. I angrily swipe at the tears, get up and go home. If I'm going to cry, it would be better to do it in the privacy of my bedroom. Where no one can witness my shame and embarrassment.

"Sophia, you're back. Sit, we have to talk"

"Not now mom" I reply breezing past her and straight to my room. Locking it just in case my mother comes barging in. Whenever she wants to talk, it is either about a new boyfriend or moving. As a kid, I can't remember how many packs we've been to. Mainly because we didn't stay long for me to remember anything. I understood my mother was mourning the death of my father but did we have to jump from one pack to the other? It was her fault I met him. If anyone is to blame for my heartbreak... Fuck. I have no one but myself to blame. I'd known he wasn't my mate. Had known we were only seeking comfort in each other's arms. He'd even told me it was a one-time thing. He would make me forget everything for a while. In the process, he'd do the same. We only wanted to shut out the world for a while. How could I have known I would never be able to forget him?

The next few days, getting out of bed becomes a chore. I have to force myself to leave my room so my mother wouldn't suspect anything. Leigh Cassandra Rush famously known as LC can be a nightmare when she wants to be. I don't even want to think what she would do if she caught wind of my situation. She'd probably find someone else and have me mated to them in a matter of days. The more powerful they are, the better. A week goes by with me feeling like a zombie then I force myself to snap out of it. The world hasn't come to an end. Those two men are living happily with their mates. Why am I the one wasting my time wallowing in misery? I will live. No one has ever died from heartbreak.  

Constant moving made it impossible for me to make friends but since we've stayed in Bittercrest for a while, I managed to make one. Reagan. We are around the same age. She was born and raised in Bittercrest and when we first arrived, it was Reagan who had helped me settle down. I can't believe we've managed to stay here for five years now. Although, it's solely because my mother is banging one of the members. I'm yet to figure out who it is. So unlike LC since she's the type to brag to the world about her new boyfriend. Reagan went to visit her mother's relatives in another pack and the moment she arrives, she can't wait to gush about all the hot guys in Silvercrown pack. It's the perfect distraction from my predicament.

"I should have dragged you by your hair, Soph. I swear you would have drooled" she says fanning herself

"That hot. Huh?"

"Don't even get me started" she goes on and on about them and how she almost embarrassed herself. I zone her out, my mind on what to do next. Now that there is no mate to rely on, I have to plan my future. Figure out what to do and where to go. Should I find another pack and start over? It would be best if I did that. Far away from my mother and her complicated relationships. Reagan grabs my hair and gently jerks my head back "Are you even listening?"

"Yes. Let go"

"Nuh-uh. Now that I think about it, you look weird. Did something happen while I was gone?" She brings our faces closer and narrows her eyes "Were you crying?"

"No-"

"You were. I know you, Soph. If you hadn't cried, you would have gone 'Who? Me? Why would I do that?' but you replied with just a no. That means you were crying. What happened? Is it your mother? Or one of the members? Don't tell me Nova and his crew are still bothering you. I will fry their asses and feed it to them"

"It's not that" I know Reagan will follow through with that threat. Not fry their asses per se. But she could report them to the Alpha who would punish them or create a scene so the whole pack would find out and criticize them. They'd never hear the end of it. Having grown up with her, Nova and his crew know not to mess with Reagan. So they'd stopped bothering me after she warned them. I can't have my friend accuse them wrongly. Besides, I need someone to unload my shit to. Who better than Reagan?

"Then what?"

"I met him. My mate but he's already mated and has two kids" there are a few seconds of silence before she shrieks,

"What?"

"We rejected each other"

"No way. At least tell me you rejected him after knocking off his front teeth" I shake my head no "How could you let him get away with it? That fucker. Tell me his name. I'll kick his ass for you"

"It's over. We are not connected anymore"

"Still, he knew better than to mate with someone else and have kids with her. How can you forgive him, Soph?"

"What was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, kick his balls. Scratch his face out. Light a fire under his ass. Anything" 

"It's over. We were not meant to be" I stop and take a deep breath "I wasn't meant to be with anyone Reags"

"Bullshit! You are beautiful, smart, intelligent, and hot as fuck. It's his fucking loss. Don't you dare shed another tear for him"

But I end up doing exactly that because I'm so miserable. I don't know how I can move forward. What's there to live for?

"I don't think I can do this"

"No Soph, don't say that" her arms come around me "If it comes to it, I will give up my mate for you. I promise I'll help you find your happy ending"

"How? Fate screwed me over. I fucking hate my life"

"Give it time hun. So what if your mate rejected you? We can easily find-"

"Who rejected who?" An eerily familiar voice asks. We jump apart to find LC staring down at us "Sophia, did your mate reject you?"

Fuck my life.

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