37Everyone is busy with the opening of the hotel. Many high-profile people were invited, so that's not surprising because this is a big hotel. A lot of the press is also here to get some news about this. Nasa tabi naman ako ngayon ni Mrs. Fajardo para salubungin ang ilang pang kilalang tao na nagsasadatingan pa lang.I am holding plenty of lei garland in my arms. I smile at the person in front of me; she is also one of the stockholders at naalala ko na minsan ko na siyang nakita sa Canada noon.I placed a lei garland around her neck and politely welcomed her. They talked for a while with Mrs. Fajardo before going inside. That was the scenario until I spotted the familiar woman. It was hard to keep a smile on my face when I saw that girl I saw at the airport; next to her was Maddix.I saw Maddix laughing when that girl said something to him. Nakakawit ang kamay ng babae sa braso ni Maddix. Nakuha tuloy nila ang ilang mga press at dinumog sila. Napansin ko ang pagdaan ng mata ni Maddix
38Ricy and I were scolded afterwards. We know that we did something wrong. We were considered the General Manager and Manager of the hotel, pero nagawa pa namin na magbangayan sa gitna ng trabaho.Malalim na buntong hininga ang napakawalan ko nang maalala ang nangyare. He used to look at me like that. May pag-iingat at pag-aalala. He used to look at me like I was the most beautiful girl he saw. Yung paraan ng tingin niya ngayon sa Kaye na iyon, sa'kin yun noon, pero dahil sa katangahan ko, dahil paniniwala sa isang kasinungalingan at dahil subrang sama ng ginawa ko noon, ngayon, ibang-iba na ang titig niya sa'kin.I bite my lower lips and can't help but let the tears flow in my eyes while staring at my reflection in the mirror. I have no right to cry, but I can't help it. I'm in my room, the working hour is done, and because I'm alone, the things that enter my mind keep coming. I was like that in 30 minutes. Thinking about him.Pinunasan ko ang luha sa mata ko nang matauhan ako. I tr
39What? Anong yes? Anong sinasabi niyang yes? Hindi ba siya nandidiri? Nagpapatawa ba siya? Napansin niya ang pagtataka ko kaya sinulyapan niya ako. Nilapit niya ang sarili para bulungan ako."Ngayon lang 'to, sakyan mo na lang," he said before laughing kaya mas lalo akong naguluhan. Muli siyang lumapit at muling bumulong. "Tumawa ka na lang na para bang may nakakatawa," bulong nito.Para tuloy akong tanga nang tumawa ako dahil kitang-kita na alanganing tawa iyon, pero ang pagkukunwaring pagtawa niya ay naging totoo."Ang pangit ng tawa mo," he said while laughing hindi ko tuloy napigilan ang kamay ko na kurutin siya.Nang sulyapan ko ang mga pinsan ko ay subrang tahimik na nila, hindi ko namalayan na nanonood pala sila sa'min ni Ricy. Napakagat ako ng labi at muling kinurot si Ricy dahil tumawa pa rin ito. Napadaing ito dahil napalakas ang pagkurot ko."Gwapo sana yang Maddix, kaso masama ugali. Mahilig ako sa gwapo, pero hindi ko gusto yung ginawan niya sayo noong opening," biglang
40He wants my body. He wants to have s3x with me, hanggang sa magsawa siya. In exchange for his forgiveness, he will take my body. I want to cry very hard after hearing what he said. Ibang-iba na talaga siya. My chest was getting tight, and it was hard to breathe, but I tried to hide it and not show it to him.He remained there, standing and staring at me. I heard his sigh. When he tried to open the car door again, I blocked him again so he couldn't open the car door."Fuck! What the fuck is your problem?" Inis na pagmumura niya. Nakapikit ako ng mariin. He have fiance kaya bakit? Gagamitin niya ang katawan ko. Ganito ba siya kagalit? Of course, Aliyah."Hindi mo ba ako narinig? I want you to leave me. Ano ba ang hindi mo maintindihan sa sinabi ko---""At kapag pumayag ako sa gusto mo? You will forgive me? Katawan ko para sa kapatawaran ko?" Minulat ko ang mata at tinignan siya sa mata niya ng buong tapang. Nakita ko ang dumaang gulat sa mata niya sa tanong ko.He tried to open his
41 I know it shouldn't be like this. I should stay there. I shouldn't have left like that, but my annoyance came first. I accepted that I have fault with him, na kailangan kong bumawi, and that I deserve every anger he has towards me, pero ang isipin na pumayag ako sa gusto niya, pero hahayaan kong gawin iyon sa iba ang hindi ko gusto. Ayaw niyang makakuha ng sakit? Damn him! Anong akala niya sa'kin? Maruming babae? Imbes na bumalik sa office ko para tapusin ang mga pagbabasa ng ilang mga reports doon ay bumaba ako. Inabala ko ang sarili ko sa pagtingin sa food service at mga room service. Nakita ko rin na isa sa mga presidential suite ay talagang nakapangalan kay Maddix. Napairap na lang ako at nag focus sa ibang bagay. Naiirita ako tuwing naiisip yung mga sinabi niya. I was in the lobby checking the booking list when I saw Maddix. Ricy, who was next to me, stood up properly when he saw Maddix; like me, he was also looking at something in the records. I looked away from him as he
42I got my phone and saw that it was Ricy who was calling. Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago sagutin ang tawag niya."What?" Hindi ko napigilan na iparinig ang iritang boses ko."Kanina pa yang masungit na boses mo ah! Halika na nga! Sabay na tayong kumain," he said using his gay voice. Umawang ang labi ko nang marinig iyon."Anong oras na ah, hindi ka pa kumakain?" Takang tanong ko."May tinapos akong report at alam kong late ka kakain, dadamayan na lang kita at sasamahan kasi kawawa ka namang pinapahirapan ng ex mo. Tell me if you are free na para makapagpaakyat ako ng pagkain natin," he said made me look at the food I cooked.Hindi ko na nagawang sulyapan si Maddix sa kung ano mang ginagawa niya. Napangiti na lang ako. Atleast hindi masasayang ang pinaghirapan kong iluto."Let's just eat what I cooked. Wait for me in your office; I'll go there," I said and was ready to leave, but my jaw dropped when Maddix was standing in front of me using his angry face.He stared at me with anger
43Doon ko na nakitaan ng ibang expression ang mukha niya, pero nangibabaw ang gulat. I want to stop myself, pero nagawa ko nang sabihin iyon kaya bakit pa ako titigil? After this, I don't fucking care kung hindi na niya ako mapatawad."S-Sa konsensyang nararamdaman ko sa lahat ng ginawa ko sayo, hindi ko namalayan na may buhay na pala sa loob ng katawan ko," sambit ko at pinunasan ang mukha ko dahil punong-puno na iyon ng pag-iyak, ni hindi ko na siya makita ng maayos dahil sa panunubig ng mata ko.Napansin ko ang paghakbang niya papalapit sa'kin kaya napahakbang ako patalikod."Mas lalo akong kinain ng konsensyang naramdaman ko noong nalaman kong buntis ako, pero wala na. Galit na ako sa sarili ko sa ginawa ko noon sayo, pero mas nagalit ako noong hindi ko nagawang alagaan ang anak natin, yung anak ko. That made me more fucking depressed and fucking want to just die, kasi wala akong kwentang girlfriend sayo at ina ng sana magiging anak natin. Pakiramdam ko mas lalo kong kailangang k
44I was quite the whole time. Even though I didn't look at Maddix next to me, I could feel him staring at me. He was just fucking watching me the whole time, even when my cousins were trying to talk to him, sumasagot naman siya, pero hindi niya tinatanggal ang tingin niya sa'kin.Tinignan ko isa-isa ang mga pinsan ko, hindi ko alam kung nagkukunwari lang ba sila na hindi nakikita at napapansin ang pagtitig sa'kin ni Maddix o talagang hindi lang talaga nila nakikita kasi busy lang sila sa pag-uusap at pag-inom? Dahil sa tingin nga sa'kin ay hindi ako makagalaw ng maayos.I'm just sipping my beer when Xian looks at me. He adjusted his sitting position and suddenly hit Verd, who was next to him. Irita naman na tinignan ni Verd si Xian."What's your fucking problem?" Si Verd at hinampas din si Xian ng pabiro."I asked Aliyah a while ago, hindi naman pala niya talaga boyfriend yung Ricy na 'yun," Xian said rason kaya tinignan ko siya ng masama.Why did the conversation turn to me? Why do