Chasing His Muse

It had been four months since I had been here. They called it a Psychiatric Hospital, but it was more like a loony bin as Collin would say.He never visited me, I didn't have any more friends since I was with Collin. I didn't even realize, that I had estranged myself from my friends since I was with him.Day after day, it was all the same here. We would gather for a group session, and a private session with the psychiatrist couple of times a week. Then in between, there were several activities that we could join, there were painting, pottery, games like chess, cards, but I would usually sit in the corner and just read books.It had been peaceful here, I was finding my rhythm. Until one day one of the attendants told me to try another activity. She wanted me to blend in, rather than reading a book and distant myself from others. She said It would help me socialize with others when it was deemed time for me to be back into t

Collin called me this morning. Laura put me on the line with him, after confirming whether I would like to receive his phone call or not. I said yes to her. Saying I was afraid he would come here if I didn't answer his phone. I didn't want to ever see his face ever again. Not even in another lifetime. He called just to check-in on me. "Hello wife, how are you today? I've got your report from Dr. Raynes in my hand. Saying that you still try to kill your self there, a couple of days ago. Answer me, wife, is that true?" He started laughing and my tears started to fall, Laura was by my side in no time. Knowing I was still on the phone with Collin. Gesturing if I want the call to be cut off or not, I shook my head no to her. I was still afraid that he would visit me. At least I didn't have to see his face when he was mocking me. "Well? Can't you speak anymore woman?" "Yes, I did. I still want to." My voice was just a whisper now. I was telling the t

Dr. Raynes called me to his office the next day. "Morning, Mrs. Buford. First of all, we would like to give you our condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. Please have a seat." He told me, pulling a chair for me to sit. He waited until I was seated, then he continued."I'm not sure if your lawyer has been in touch with you or not. If not we will facilitate your meeting, and contact him for you. We will make sure, everything goes as smoothly as possible. In a couple of days, we will transfer you back to your home." He told me, while he was shuffling my files on his desk."But be sure that we will still available for you, for further consultation. Laura will assist you, Mrs. Buford. Again, we're sorry for your loss." He explained to me, another technicality but I was already tuned out by then.My head was already doing weird thinking, I was ready to fall back to my corner when Laura assisted me to get up, and we went back

I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning in my bed.Fuck! The bed! I need to change the bed.Before I knew it, all the memories came flooding, the betrayal, the hurt. I quickly got out of bed like it was on fire. Tears streaming down my face.Fuck it, woman! You're better than this. The fucker is dead!I kept on trying to hold my self up. Conversing with my self. But still couldn't do it. I needed someone. My hands were trembling. I reached for my phone, it slipped out of my grips a couple of times but I managed to call Brenton. Didn't know why I press his number. But I just wanted somebody to be here, not talking about it.He picked up, after a couple of rings."Nicolette? Are you okay?" His voice was heavy like he just woke up."Hey, Nicolette. Are you at the house?" He asked again since I hadn't answered his

"So, you want to check out the studio? I think you will like it. You can paint there also." He gently rubbed my arm."Why don't we start the day like normal people, and have breakfast first? Let's go, it's been a while since I prepare my own meal. You can sketch me cooking if you want?" I teased him."Anyway, I have a lunch date with Regan, we have so much to catch up. I think Collin said some hurtful things to her. About she's being gay, and he doesn't want me to stay friends with her. But I love her. She's part of my past. We used to be inseparable in college." I started to get up and wore his shirt again. He was looking amused at me now.I took my coffee and went to the kitchen, he followed behind me, after he put on his pants."Savory or sweet for the pancake?" I pulled out some flour and started mixing the batter. It had been a while, I missed doing this mundane stuff, around the house. It felt good t