Choosing her heart

My heart races as I glance around the forest. 

No. No no no. Not again. 

Looking down, I see I'm in my gown from that fateful night at the mate ball. Black lace with a deep V cut showing off my cleavage. Reaching up, my hair is still pinned to the side, curls perfectly tamed. 

I'm on the same path that I took so many times before experiencing it for real. My eyes dart around and my heart feels like it might burst from my chest. 

I know I die tonight. I know my heart stops and I know Parker finds me, but I can't stop it. 

My feet carry me further and further away from the hustle and bustle of the Mate Ball. After those horrible girls told me I was a freak and I shouldn't have bothered coming. My mate wasn't behind those walls, and I knew I shouldn't have gone. 

Even if he was, I should have known. I should have known that I wasn't worthy of a Goddess given mate. At least that's what I thought before getting a second chance. 

In my head, I know it happens, but the fear still feels so real as I walk this path that I've walked hundreds of times. But why now? Why after I've already been saved am I back here? It doesn't make sense. 

Pain takes up residence in my chest and a dull throbbing pounds against my temples.

The air is cool, and wind whips my bare skin. 

Turning my head from side to side, I try to see if anything has changed. It smells the same, it looks the same; Even the air feels the same. But something inside of me feels different. 

That's the change. I feel different. 

My body feels heavier than it used to, but my heart beats differently. Rather than the organ feeling like it's going to explode, it feels more like excitement.

The owl still sits on a branch just ahead, hooting and howling. As I pass, his golden eyes follow me. 

Tears burn my eyes as I pick up my pace, my body moving while my mind tries to figure out what the hell is going on. 

The same crickets chirp a melody, the sound stopping as I kick my heels off. My bare feet pad against damp, mossy dirt. The glow of the moon lights my path as it peeks through the trees, and I feel propelled forward.

My breathing is labored and panic siezes me as my surroundings grow more and more familiar.

I'm only a few steps away from my death. This is where the dream ends every other time, but tonight, I feel my soul separate from my body. 

This didn't happen before.

Glancing down at my hands, I see through my skin as I flip them over. My other self continues running, glancing back as if to beg me to follow.

"Wait," I call out, but I don't. My other form keeps running. The trail of the black lacey dress snagging and ripping as I pass over fallen trees and dying shrubs. 

I watch in horror as I fall to the ground about fifteen feet ahead. My knees bust through the thin fabric as cool mud seeps through the dress. 

My body falls limp, and I try to scream for help, but before the noise can escape my lips, Parker hesitantly steps up to my body. He looks around frantically before kneeling next to me, and rolling my body over. 

"She's dying, help her," I beg him, but he can't hear me. He doesn't even turn in my direction. 

I walk closer to the scene, seeing him lean down, his ear hovering over my heart before placing his hands against my chest. Bright white light glows from his eyes and I watch in amazement, despite seeing him heal before; It was never this moment. 

I'd always been in the dark about the fatal moment he chose to save me, using his healing powers. This moment altered both of our lives, and now we were chosen mates. 

But why am I seeing this now? Why does everything feel so different?

After the light fades from his eyes, he checks my body again, breathing a sigh of relief when he hears my heart beating once more. 

Carefully, he lifts me into his arms, where I know he takes me to his cabin, and the rest is history. 

But as I follow him, I pick up on a foreign scent.

Glancing around in the darkness, a trickle of awareness pricks at my spine, and then I see it. 

I shoot up, gasping for air. The room is dark and my heart still races despite being in the comfort of my own home. Parker lays asleep beside me, his sandy blonde hair covering his closed eyes. 

My hand rubs absentmindedly over my swollen stomach, and I bite my lip, trying to recall what I'd seen at the end of that dream and why now was it different. 

I had the same dream for years, right until I lived the moment for real, and then it just stopped. 

That was a year ago, and I can't help but to think everything is about to change.