Chrysalism

Chrysalism

By:  T.Y. Kühn  Ongoing
Language: English
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What would you do if you found out the life you have is a lie? Would you embrace an immortal, but dangerous future or run away? Chrysalism (n.) the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm. ××× This book contains swearing, erotic passages, as well as trigger subjects such as physical, verbal and all other sorts of abuse. As it is written on what comes to mind at the time, I advise you to read at your own risk. Please do not read if you feel the slightest doubt in your mind if you should read it or not. Mental health is a serious thing and it must be taken into consideration. You have been warned. ×××

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13 Chapters
Chapter One: Welcome to Hell
Sleeping with both eyes shut was never an option. Not in this hell hole. St. Cadence’s Orphanage was far from being holy. I was abandoned here when I was born, having no recollection on who was the mutt who left me to live a godforsaken life in this place that was supposed to give me shelter. England has its perks; I give you that. Sovereignty gives the orphanage good money for clothes, studies and whatever else we might need until we are eighteen and thrown out on the streets. If we excel in our studies, the top three students get a full scholarship to Oxford University to study whatever we’d like. And I sure as hell will be among those three. ‘Get up, Black. Time for your daily beating section. Best time of my day, watching a hoe like you with your pitiful excuse of a face in the gutter.’
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Chapter Two: Reaching Out
I was always the quiet one. The one who went unnoticed in the middle of the crowd. I wanted to be. There was no need for me to stand out other than having the best grades in class. Making out and showing off were not on my ‘to do’ list. My ‘to do’ list had peculiar things for a 17-year-old. Get the Oxford Scholarship. Graduate in Medicine. Get as far from this place as soon as possible. Get as far from this place as soon as possible. Simple. Until a month before graduation... When Father Phillips' annoying voice came out of the orphanage school's speakers. 'Attention Senior students. Father Phill
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Chapter Three: Theodora
The day after, I was released on strict orders to stay in bed for two weeks, eating nothing but soup and light things not to disturb my stomach. Test results came back and I was good to go... Home.Not feeling pain was good. Fast healing was a plus. Only sister Ophelia knew about my perks, so whenever I got hurt (or someone hurt me) I’d fake pain and put bandages over my bruises so I wouldn’t become a lab rat.Or getting a promotion on my status as a punching bag, Clarissa and her minions would have a blast.The week passed slowly. It was neither cold nor hot. It rained a lot, and it made me happy. I never knew why heavy rain and the sound of thunder made my feelings so at ease. It usually brought people to their knees out of fear, but not me, just looking at the black clouds at the horizon filled with l
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Chapter Four: Dream a Little Dream of…
There I am in the white room again. Why the fuck do I keep dreaming with this? I walk towards the mirror again. My other version is there, but she is not alone. She is on someone’s bed, undressed, asleep. I try to call her, me, and I slap the mirror a few times, as hard as I can, but she does not listen to me. She looks… happy. Someone else approaches the mirror, a tall, blonde figure, not more than forty years old, with only a towel around his waist. I watched every single detail on that handsome fella my other self seems to have slept with. His eyes are a really light brown, almost yellow, even, his skin is slightly tanned, he has a discreet pointy nose, and a gorgeous mouth, even though he has a scar from his left eyebrow that barely skips his eye and goes over his nose and disappears under his right jaw. He looks right at me, making me as red as a tomato. I let my shame go, and knock on t
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Chapter Five: Painful
I got out of the shower, staring at my finger, as it gradually stopped bleeding, unable to stop thinking about the feeling of an actual cut. My finger burned, even though it was a really small cut, but it had a beating, as if my heart was pumping right there on that tiny opening on my hand. I had my finals beginning in two days, and I'd see my classmates for the first time after Sister Ophelia put me in quarantine, as if I had a deadly virus no one could ever get in touch with, only Theo and her.I spent the last two days of lockdown studying. By the next day, the cut in my finger was done, just the scar was left behind, as all other cuts I suffered throughout my life. I couldn’t pay enough attention to the goddamn books, because the pain I felt was unusual. Have I been misdiagnosed? Was CIP curable? Did that mean that I was going to actually suffer when Clarissa beat me up?
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Chapter Six: Sacrifice
+++ Trigger alert! Remember, this book contains serious subjects who might be disturbing for some. This chapter is a tough one. You have been warned. +++ ‘What the fuck are you doing in the dark, Shawn? And what the fuck are you doing in my room?’ Trying to calm myself and heavily breathing, I turned the lights on and took four, maybe five steps back away from him. I crossed my arms, waiting for his response. But he just stared at me, he didn’t say anything. Then I noticed his swollen eyes and red nose. He had been crying. He had both of his arms down, covered on his long sleeves as they always were, but blood was dripping from his fingers. ‘WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?’ I screamed. I ran towards him, while he was sliding his back down against the wall, sitting down. ‘She is going to kill you, Ky. I won’t let you go alone.’ ‘No one is doing nothing to anyone. Why the fuck are you with that bitch if you are so worried a
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Chapter Seven: Brutta Sensazione
Week was hell. We were done with finals, Shawn’s suicide attempt was the only thing people could talk about and even though everyone that is in here had a sob story, I was the sob story of the week. But I didn’t cry, I couldn’t, even. I felt… numb. Clarissa and Jessica were nowhere to be seen. I didn’t know what to think about it, if it was good I was still alive of if she was researching ways of killing me without leaving traces on the internet. The night before the trip, with my things already packed, Theo and I went to our favorite place: the hill on the back of the castle. It had nothing, but a huge empty field, and grass was mowed that morning, it was perfect to sit there, as we usually did every other day, to stare at the ocean and the beautiful endless horizon, talking about things we’d do once we got out of that place. Graduation party was happening after we got home from Italy. Breathing the summer air and the fresh grass, we sat there in silence for a long time.
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Chapter Eight: Sour
There are moments in life where you should embrace whatever is happening, good or bad, and appreciate the lesson it is giving you. I wish there weren’t as many bad things for me to learn from, but everything that has happened has lead me here. I know I’m not making any sense right now, but I promise I will tell you all about it as we go. As my feet touched Italian grounds, and I could breathe the fresh summer air, I felt at ease. As if I were home. That good feeling has lasted ten steps, until I tripped in front of my whole class, thanks to Jessica’s foot purposely on my way. Trying to hold on to something, I scraped my hands on the floor and took a while to stand up, as I was still getting used to the pain. I murmured a curse as I realized that several of my things that were inside my purse, now were scattered on the floor, and Theo helped me up, looking at Jessica with murder eyes. ‘Watch it, big foot.’ She pushed the tiny posh girl on her shoulder. She looked at F
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Chapter Nine: Origins
Composure, discipline, politeness. Everything the Orphanage has taught me went down the drain as I screamed bloody murder to both women standing in front of me. My body shook, my eyes did not produce tears anymore as hatred consumed every bone in my body. I have dreamt about knowing where I came from for so long, I gave up dreaming about it. My life was empty and pointless, and I embraced the feeling of having being abandoned. That was who I was, for the past seventeen years, a nobody. So, when someone knocks on my door claiming the only adult I trusted was a relative and the fact someone abandoned me ‘had an explanation’ it should be a good one. Or I would be capable of murder. ‘Kyla, you will not talk to her like that! You know better than to curse, than to use those fowl words in front of me! I have kept things from you but that is no excuse...’ Sister Ophelia rose from her seat while giving me a lecture, but I interrupted her, and her face was terrified, as I rising from
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Chapter Ten: Gelato
Both women looked at me, expecting some kind of response. Who would have things to say after all of that information being thrown at you like a hot potato? ‘Why now? You could have left me there to keep being human. To carry on as a normal person. I have a future planned out for me. I was unhappy for seventeen years, and after almost finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel you show up? You tell me all of those things as if I was supposed to throw my arms around you and all would be forgiven? What is wrong with you people? Why did you give birth to me if I was to be a burden on your lives? You left me to get punched, kicked, slapped, cut, verbally abused. You left me in hell. WHY DID YOU GIVE ME LIFE IF I WASN’T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE?’ There went all the rage at once. The feelings I never allowed to have come to surface as a tsunami. I shook, my face was red out of hatred but I couldn’t cry. I was mad at all of this. Elsbeth reached out for a string of my hair th
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