I feel something.

MELANIE

The beach suddenly felt too crowded.

Too loud, too bright, too much of everything pressing in on me at once. One minute I was laughing with Allison, letting the cold water chase away the heaviness in my chest, and the next, it all came rushing back like a wave I couldn't outrun. The voices blurred together, the sunlight felt harsher against my skin, and even the sound of the ocean became overwhelming.

And him.

I turned my head before I could stop myself, my gaze landing exactly where I knew it would. He was still standing with that woman, close enough that her hand brushed his arm as she spoke. He smiled at something she said, relaxed and at ease, like nothing in the world could touch him.

Something twisted in my chest, sharp and unfamiliar.

“I’m going to grab something to drink,” I muttered, brushing sand from my hands as I stepped away.

Allison barely spared me a glance, her attention still fixed somewhere behind me. “Get me something sweet,” she called, waving a hand lazily in my direction.

I nodded, grateful for the easy escape, and walked off before she could look too closely at my face.

The small beach bar sat beneath a wide canopy, offering shade and a quiet hum of music that felt distant compared to the chaos in my head. People laughed and leaned into each other, glasses clinking, conversations flowing without effort. Everything about it felt normal, almost painfully so, as though I had stepped into a world that had no idea what it meant to fall apart.

I stepped up to the counter, my fingers curling against the edge as I scanned the options laid out in front of me. Cocktails filled with bright colors and crushed ice lined the menu, followed by wine and stronger drinks that made my stomach tighten just from reading the names.

“No alcohol,” I added quickly when the bartender approached, offering me a friendly smile. “Just something light. Juice, maybe.”

He nodded without hesitation and turned away, leaving me alone with my thoughts again.

I exhaled slowly, my shoulders loosening just a fraction as I waited. Alcohol felt like a dangerous edge I was not ready to stand near, not after everything that had happened. The idea of losing control, even for a moment, made something cold settle deep in my stomach.

One drink could turn into something else.

One moment of carelessness could cost too much.

The glass placed in front of me pulled me back to the present, its bright citrus color almost cheerful in contrast to the heaviness inside me. I wrapped my fingers around it and took a small sip, letting the cool sweetness settle on my tongue.

Safe.

At least this was safe.

I leaned lightly against the counter and forced myself to look around, trying to anchor myself in something real. A couple laughed over a shared drink, their heads close together, while a group of friends argued playfully over music choices. A little boy ran along the edge of the water, his laughter carrying faintly over the breeze.

Life was moving, untouched and indifferent.

I tried to sink into that feeling, to let it pull me out of my own head, but it didn't last. Every attempt to focus slipped through my fingers, replaced by the same thoughts looping over and over again.

My mother’s message.

Her words.

The way she hadn't asked if I was okay.

My grip tightened around the glass before I set it down, afraid I might shatter it if I held on any longer. Staying here was not helping. If anything, it made everything louder inside me.

I turned and walked back toward Allison, my steps quicker now, as though I was trying to outrun something.

“I think I’m going to head back,” I told her when I reached her side, keeping my tone as steady as I could manage.

She blinked at me, her brows pulling together in confusion. “Already? We just got here.”

“I’m just tired,” I replied, offering a small shrug to make it seem casual. “Didn’t really sleep well.”

Her expression softened almost immediately, concern replacing the confusion in her eyes. She stepped closer, brushing a bit of sand from my arm as she looked at me more carefully. “You did look a little off earlier. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No,” I said quickly, then softened my tone when I realized how abrupt it sounded. “Stay. Have fun. I’ll just nap and come back later.”

She hesitated for a moment, studying my face as if she was trying to read something I was not ready to say. Then she smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

“Okay,” she agreed. “But text me when you get back.”

“I will.”

I didn't look back as I left, because I knew if I did, I might not be able to keep myself together.

The house felt too quiet when I returned, the kind of silence that made every small sound seem amplified. My footsteps echoed faintly as I slipped off my sandals and stepped inside, my body still tense despite the distance from the beach.

Then I heard his voice.

Low and firm, carrying from somewhere down the hall, completely different from the warmth he used with Allison. There was a sharpness to it, a controlled authority that made me pause instantly.

“I want the final drafts by tomorrow morning,” he said, his tone clipped and unyielding. “No delays this time. If there’s a problem, I expect to hear about it now.”

I swallowed, my heart beginning to race as I glanced toward the corridor. He sounded close, closer than I expected, and the thought of running into him right now made my chest tighten.

“I don’t care how you manage it,” he continued after a brief pause. “Just make sure it’s done.”

I hesitated, then took a careful step forward, followed by another. My movements were slow and deliberate, like I was trying not to disturb something fragile. The memory of earlier pressed heavily on me, the way I had snapped at him replaying in my mind with uncomfortable clarity.

I reached my door and slipped inside as quietly as possible, closing it behind me with a soft click. Only then did I let out the breath I had been holding, my back resting against the door as I stared up at the ceiling.

Guilt settled heavily in my chest, coiling tighter with every passing second. He had done nothing to deserve that, nothing except show me kindness when I needed it most. The least I could do was apologize, even if the thought of facing him made my stomach twist.

Later, I told myself.

When I could speak without breaking.

The shower helped, if only a little.

Hot water poured over my skin, washing away the salt and sand, but more importantly, it dulled the sharp edges of my thoughts. I stood there longer than necessary, letting the steam fill the room and wrap around me, creating a temporary barrier between me and everything outside.

When I finally stepped out, I wrapped a towel around myself and wiped the fog from the mirror with a slow swipe of my hand. The reflection staring back at me looked tired and distant, like I was seeing someone I barely recognized.

A knock at the door made me jump, my heart leaping into my throat as I clutched the towel tighter around my body.

“Yes?” I called, my voice unsteady despite my effort to control it.

“It’s room service, miss,” a soft voice answered from the other side.

I frowned slightly but moved toward the door, opening it just enough to peek through. One of the maids stood there, holding a tray filled with neatly arranged fruits and small finger foods, each piece placed with careful attention.

“For you,” she said with a polite smile.

“Oh, thank you,” I replied, taking the tray from her carefully.

Allison must have ordered it. That was the kind of thing she would do without mentioning it, like she always knew exactly what someone needed before they asked.

I carried the tray inside and set it on the small table near the bed, the colors and scents immediately making my stomach twist with hunger. I hadn't realized how little I had eaten until now.

I picked up a slice of fruit and took a bite, the sweetness grounding me in a way I hadn't expected. Slowly, I ate more, letting each piece settle something restless inside me.

After a while, I reached for the remote and turned on the television, letting some random movie play in the background. I barely followed the plot, but the noise filled the silence, and for now, that was enough.

My phone rang suddenly, the sharp sound cutting through the room and making me flinch.

I stared at the screen, my breath catching as I saw the number.

Unknown.

A familiar dread crept up my spine, slow and suffocating. I didn't answer. I couldn't. Instead, I watched it ring, my fingers frozen where they rested.

When it finally stopped, the silence felt heavier than before.

Then a message appeared.

‘You think blocking me will solve anything?’

My chest tightened as I read the next line.

‘This is your mother. Call me back immediately.’

The air left my lungs in a quiet rush, my hands beginning to tremble. Of course she would find another way. Of course she wouldn't let me have even this small distance.

I deleted the message and blocked the number without giving myself time to think, my heart pounding so loudly it echoed in my ears.

Why was it never enough?

Why was I never enough?

The questions came uninvited, dragging old memories with them. Her voice, her laughter, the way she always seemed to have time and money for everything except me. I remembered standing in doorways, watching her admire herself, while I wore the same clothes until they barely fit.

Even when my teachers noticed.

Even when it became obvious.

She still didn't see me.

“Why couldn’t you just love me?” I whispered, my voice breaking as the tears finally spilled over.

The room offered no answer.

It never did.

I curled onto the bed, pulling my knees to my chest as the sobs came harder, each one tearing through me like something that had been waiting too long to be released. Eventually, the exhaustion caught up with me, dragging me under before I could fight it.

The bar was dark, the air thick with music that pulsed unevenly around me.

I stood frozen, my body refusing to move as I watched him approach. He smiled like nothing was wrong, like everything was perfectly normal, and extended a drink toward me.

“Just one,” he urged, his voice smooth and coaxing.

“I don’t want it,” I said, shaking my head as I took a step back.

His smile shifted into something sharper.

“Don’t be difficult.”

“I said no,” I insisted, but my voice came out smaller than I intended.

The lights flickered above us before plunging everything into darkness. Panic surged instantly, my heart racing as I turned, trying to find a way out, but there was nothing to see, nothing to hold onto.

“Melanie.”

The voice echoed around me, closer than it should have been.

“Melanie.”

I screamed.

“Melanie.”

Warmth surrounded me, strong arms holding me steady as I struggled to breathe.

“Melanie, wake up.”

My eyes flew open as I gasped, a sob tearing from my throat as I bolted upright. The room came into focus slowly, pieces falling back into place until I realized where I was.

And who was holding me.

Rafael.

His arms were wrapped around me, firm and grounding, his presence steady in a way that made the panic loosen its grip just enough for me to breathe again.

“You’re okay,” he murmured, his voice low and reassuring, completely unlike the one from my nightmare. “You’re safe.”

I clutched at his shirt without thinking, my fingers gripping the fabric as another sob escaped me. The fear hadn't fully faded, but it no longer felt as though it would swallow me whole.

For the first time since everything fell apart, I felt something else.

Not safety.

Not completely.

But something close enough that I held on.