Diez años en vano y un renacer

Ciara 

I looked around the men’s boutique shop, my eyes scanning for the perfect gift for my husband; Ryan as it was our 1st anniversary. 

Picking up the brown tie that caught my eye, a smile spread across my face. The shop attendant could see that I was pleased. 

“I guess this is the one you are going with?” she questioned; pleased on her part that she’d finally satisfied me. 

“Yes, please”

“Then, let me wrap it up for you?”

I handed the tie over to her, “Thank you”

Whilst the attendant wrapped my gift for Ryan, I couldn’t help but remember how we’d first met. It was in a hospital; the same day I’d lost my parents in a car accident. 

Ryan happened to have also been involved in a car accident. One thing led to another, I began curious to know the cause of his accidents I’d started working in his house as his caregiver before I knew what was happening next, I was signing a form for a contract marriage with him. 

It seemed like a good idea because Ryan seemed like a good guy to me at that time and truthfully, I have never regretted being married to him. 

Ryan treats me with respect, way more than I deserved even though our marriage was by name only so this tie I was getting him for our first anniversary didn’t even come close for all he’s done for me. 

“Here you go” The shop attendant said handing me a disposable bag. 

Taking the bag from her hand; I say with a smile, “Thank you”

As I leave the boutique, I send a quick text to Ryan; “I’ll be at the coffee shop shortly” it read.

“Take your time” came his reply but I was giddy as I couldn’t contain my happiness. 

Climbing into my car, I gently placed the disposable bag at the back of the car seat before taking off. 

While humming to my favourite song over the radio, I wondered if today would be a good day to make my feelings known to Ryan. 

“You can’t be married for over a year without any feelings involved” I muttered under my breath but was still highly conflicted, “But what if my confession drives him away? That’s the last thing I want to happen right now”

I shake my head, dissing the thought. “Let’s hold back for one more day. You are married to him, Ciara. You can always tell him about your feelings tomorrow”

As the coffee shop we were supposed to meet up in; CARLA’S M came to sight, I shook off the last surge of tension that coursed through my veins as I packed my car in the parking lot before lighting down with the disposable bag in my hands. 

Pushing the front door of the coffee shop open, I walked in; my eyes searching frantically for Ryan when suddenly my gaze landed on him. 

He was looking at his phone with a worried expression written all over his face. He was claded in a brown suit, his brown hair was neatly styled to the back. 

I gawked so hard at this fantasy man in front of me and didn’t snap out of it until my phone rang. 

Ryan’s eyes met mine and immediately, he rushed up to meet me, “Why didn’t you let me know you were here already? I was worried sick”

I smiled shyly, “I’m sorry”

“Follow me” Ryan led me to our table where he signaled for the waiter, “We’ll have it now”

“You already ordered?” I asked Ryan when the waiter was gone. 

“You like taking hot coffee after a long drive”

This. This little gestures of Ryan, him remembering what I liked and what I didn’t like despite us being in a contract marriage, made me fall in love with him. 

On his part it could just be that he was being ‘kind’ or being a ‘nice’ guy, maybe it was just me reading too much into his actions, I don’t know. 

But these feelings of mine, I was ready to keep to myself until Ryan was ready to take the next step with me. 

“That’s right, I got you something” We say in unison as I couldn’t help but blush at the fact that he remembered what today was.

“You go first” I say shyly as Ryan brought out a brown envelope from within his bag and handed it over to me. 

“What is this?” I questioned nervously. 

Ryan flashed me an encouraging smile, “Don’t be nervous. Go ahead and open it”

I took that as a sign; A good sign that whatever was inside this brown envelope was something I’d like. 

It made me more certain about my feeling for Ryan. Today, I thought. I was going to tell him about my feelings for him today. 

This envelope, this gift of his to me had only proven that Ryan felt the same way as me and that conclusion made my hands tremble as I opened the envelope. 

My eyes met Ryan’s once more as I saw a paper inside the brown envelope. 

“Continue” Ryan encouraged and I did. I brought out the paper that was buried inside the envelope and read it’s content. 

No sooner had I been able to digest the information from the piece of paper, did it fall from my hands. 

My whole body began to quiver as I looked up at Ryan who wore a smug or was it? I couldn’t tell as my vision was blurred with tears.

“What is the meaning of this?” I questioned still in disbelief. Where had it all gone wrong? We were happy, he respected me and so did I…I even fell in love with him so how could he do this to me?!. 

“It’s exactly what it says in the paper, Ciara”

“And what is that?” I stubbornly inquired. It was as if I didn’t want to believe what the paper read until Ryan says it with his own mouth. 

A part of me still wanted to fight for whatever we still have left; still wanted to protect our marriage. 

But then he’d said it. Ryan had uttered those words I so desperately dreaded,”I want a divorce, Ciara”