Chapter 5: Unwanted thoughts

ZAIRE'S POV

Two days. Two fucking days had passed, but all I could still think about was him. I tried everything, from practice, gym, and even joining my aunt for her weird-ass meditation sessions, but nothing seemed to work. The more I tried to chase him out of my head, the deeper he crawled in.

It was fucking unsettling, as much as it pissed me the fuck off.

Because why the hell was I thinking about him that much?

I thought about that stupid guy in the past forty-eight hours more than I had in all the years I've known him.

The truth was, Burkhart had always been irrelevant to me. I didn't care-didn't give a single fuck about him... not until he started messing with me. He was the reason things were the way they were between us. And believe it or not, I didn't hate him at first, and even though I didn't really like him either, but I definitely wouldn't have predicted things would turn out like this.

It all started back at elementary school.

We both attended the same school, and Sebastian was that annoying kid who always wanted to be friends with me. Always. The moment he saw me on the playground, or anywhere else, he'd run over like some excited puppy. He'd try to sit with me, follow me around, talk to me about stupid cartoons and superheroes, and whatever else kids cared about back then.

He was really a nice kid, honestly. Everyone else liked him. My mom even said he was "sweet." But something about him just rubbed me wrong. For some strange reason, I just didn't like him.

You know when you meet someone and your blood just rejects them on sight?

That was me with Sebastian.

He was too much-too bright, too cheerful, too clingy. And I was a quiet kid who liked my space. So I kept pushing him away. And he kept coming back.

By middle school, he was still trying. High school, too, same shit. It got to a point where it started to get to my nerves. Not in a "he's irritating me" way, but in a "why the hell won't he just stop" way. I didn't understand why he cared so much. I didn't understand why he chose me out of everyone he could've been friends with.

Rumors started to go around the school that I liked boys all because of this dude who wouldn't leave me the fuck alone.

Then came the day everything snapped.

I was in a shitty mood, and Sebastian tried talking to me again, right in the hallway like he always did, smiling like he didn't notice I didn't want him there.

And I just... snapped.

I told him to fuck off and said some mean stuff to him.

I saw the hurt on his face that day, but I didn't care. I had told him multiple times to stay the fuck away from me but he just wouldn't listen.

That was the last day Sebastian tried to be my friend.

After that, everything changed.

He went from being that clingy, smiling kid who trailed after me like a shadow... to the one person who knew exactly how to piss me off with one look. He enjoyed getting under my skin and made a full-time job out of it.

Our fights started small-stupid arguments in class, shoving matches in the hallway-but they escalated every damn year. By the end of the 8th grade, the teachers knew our names for all the wrong reasons. By 9th grade, teachers kept us separated during events because we couldn't stay in the same room without starting shit.

When he moved back to England mid-year, I had never felt so relieved in my life. That one year and six months without him was like a breath of fresh air. But then he came back and started right where he left off. He went after Amanda, and that was when this whole thing turned personal.

It wasn't even like it was the first time he went after my girlfriends. Before he went back to England, he slept with two of my girls and made sure I knew about it. It was his way of taunting me. Every girl I was after, he made sure he got her first. He didn't even like them. It was never about them-it was about beating me. Although it pissed me off, I didn't care too much about it, but I fucking liked Amanda, so I couldn't let that shit slide.

For the most part of this rivalry, he was the one who always provoked me, but after that day, I was the one dedicated to make his life a living hell. And for the fact that he joined our rival school and was part of Milton Lions made it even easier to hate him.

My phone started buzzing across the desk, dragging me out of my spiral. I snatched it up without even looking-knew exactly who it was.

"Yo," I muttered.

"Zai! We're outside. You coming or what?" Reggie's voice came through, annoyingly excited.

I ran a hand through my dreadlocks and groaned. "Yeah, yeah. I'm coming."

"Hurry the fuck up, we ain't got the whole day." Dillon's voice said through the phone.

I chuckled, rolling my eyes, and hung up before dropping my phone back on the desk.

Two days of obsessing over Burkhart, two days of letting his stupid face crawl around my head... I'd had enough. I was done. I hated thinking about him. Hated it with a burning, desperate kind of hate. And right now, I was desperate for a distraction. Just something, anything, to shove Sebastian Burkhart out of my fucking head.

When Reggie and his older brother told me about this party earlier, I hadn't even hesitated when they asked if I wanted to go. Hell yeah. I was going. This was exactly what I needed-a night of loud music, booze, and chaos. I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by.

I reached for my cologne and sprayed a little bit on myself. I was already dressed up in a pair of black baggy jeans, a blue & white NFL jersey, and some timberlands on my feet. I decided to let my locks down and debated if I should wear a cap but decided against it in the end.

My fade was still fresh anyway.

After putting on a watch, few rings, and a couple of chains around my neck, I grabbed my phone and wallet and quickly made my way downstairs. Gloria was in the den when I passed by. I hoped to god she didn't fucking talk to me but as usual she couldn't just let me be.

"Where are you going this late, Zai?" she asked, making me stop in my tracks.

"I'm going out," I said flatly, not even bothering to turn fully toward her.

Gloria stood there with her arms crossed, wearing that fake-concerned expression she always pulled whenever she wanted to feel like a parent. It annoyed the hell out of me. She wasn't my mom. She'd never be my mom.

"Zaire, it's almost eleven," she said, stepping closer. "Your father won't-"

"My father doesn't care," I cut in, jaw tightening. "And even if he did, I still wouldn't give a shit."

Her lips pressed together, that little offended twitch she always had showing. I didn't miss the quick flicker of guilt in her eyes. Good. She should feel guilty. She and my dad had ruined everything.

"I'm just trying to look out for you," she said softly.

I scoffed, laughing humorlessly as I adjusted one of the rings on my finger. "Well, don't! I don't fucking want you to."

Her face fell a little, but I didn't let myself care.

"What would your mother think if she saw you talking to me like-"

"Don't," I snapped, finally whipping my head toward her. "Don't you dare say anything about my mother."

She froze, lips parted like she realized she was about to walk into fire barefoot.

"You don't get to use her," I said quietly, but the words came out sharp, like they'd been waiting years to cut. "You don't get to bring her up. You and my father are the reason she's gone."

"Zaire... that's not-"

"Save it," I muttered, turning away.

I didn't want to hear her excuses. Didn't want to hear her pretend to care. Didn't want to hear anyone talk about my mother, especially not the woman my father cheated with. The woman my mother had to see every day in her house before her heart gave out.

I started walking again, not giving Gloria another glance.

"I'll be back later," I said over my shoulder. "Don't wait up."

Her voice followed me, soft and trembling. "Be careful."

I ignored it.

I stepped outside, shutting the door behind me with more force than necessary. The cold night air hit my skin, and for a second, I breathed in, letting it cool the fire running through me.

Fuck, I needed this party so bad.

I needed anything that wasn't my stepmom... or Sebastian fucking Burkhart.

Dillon's car was already pulled up on the curb, engine rumbling. He leaned out the window when he saw me.

"Finally!" he yelled. "Dude, what the hell took you so long?"

I walked over, hopping into the backseat beside Reggie, who was already half-drunk, judging by the stupid grin on his face.

"Stepmom bullshit," I muttered.

Both of them groaned in understanding.

"Say less," Reggie said, handing me a cold can. "You need this."

And honestly? Yeah. I fucking did.

"Let's go," I said, cracking the can open.

I needed to forget everything tonight.

Especially that fucker, Burkhart.