Ex-Girlfriend

Lily POV

I was still curled up on the couch, my eyes red and swollen from crying all night, when his phone started ringing from the kitchen counter. Alex had forgotten it in his hurry to leave and destroy me. The sound cut through the silence like a knife, and at first, I just stared at it, wondering if I should answer or let it ring.

But it kept ringing. And ringing. And ringing.

Finally, I dragged myself off the couch, my legs shaky and weak. When I saw the name on the screen, my world tilted sideways: Sarah ❤️

Sarah. His ex-girlfriend from college. The one he used to get that dreamy look in his eyes when he mentioned her name. The one who "got away." The one he claimed was "just a friend" now.

When had he added a heart emoji to her name?

My hands were trembling as I answered. "Hello?"

"Alex? Baby, you sound different. Did you do it? Did you finally tell her?" Her voice was sweet, excited, like she was talking about something wonderful.

Baby. She called my husband baby. The word hit me like a physical blow.

"This... this isn't Alex," I managed to whisper.

There was a pause, then a laugh. Not a surprised laugh, but a knowing one. "Oh. You must be Lily. Alex has told me so much about you."

The way she said my name made my skin crawl. Like it was something dirty.

"Who is this?" I asked, even though I already knew.

"I'm Sarah. Alex's fiancée." She said it so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Is he there? We have dinner reservations to celebrate."

Fiancée. The word echoed in my head. "What did you say?"

"Our engagement dinner. He was supposed to call me after he told you about the divorce. We're so excited to finally be together properly." She paused. "You know, the way we always should have been."

My knees gave out, and I slumped against the kitchen counter. "Engagement?"

"Oh sweetie, you don't know?" Her voice was dripping with fake sympathy. "Alex and I have been planning our wedding for months. He just had to get rid of you first." She laughed again. "Don't worry, you'll be much happier without him. He was never really yours anyway."

The line went dead. I stared at the phone, my hands shaking so badly I could barely hold it.

:::::

I don't know how long I stood there, but eventually, I found myself walking upstairs to our bedroom like a zombie. Alex's laptop was still sitting on the dresser, and for the first time in five years of marriage, I decided to look.

No password. He had never bothered to hide anything from me because he thought I was too stupid and trusting to ever check.

His email was open, and right there at the top was a message from Sarah from yesterday morning:

"My darling Alex, I can't wait for tonight! Finally telling that pathetic woman the truth so we can start our real life together. I've been waiting so long for this moment. The wedding planner called - she can fit us in next month if we want. I know it's fast, but I can't wait another day to be your wife. Your REAL wife this time. I love you more than that sad little woman ever could. See you tonight for our celebration dinner. Forever yours, Sarah."

My vision blurred. I scrolled down and found dozens more emails, going back eight months. Pictures of them together at restaurants I'd never been to. Hotel receipts from weekends when Alex said he was working. Messages about their "future" and their "real love" and how "stupid Lily" would never figure it out.

One email from Alex made me physically sick:

"My beautiful Sarah, you're right. Lily is pathetic. I only married her because I was lonely and hurt after we broke up. Biggest mistake of my life. She's nothing compared to you - she's plain, boring, needy. She cries at everything and has no backbone. Sometimes I look at her and wonder how I ever thought I could love someone so weak. But soon I'll be free of her, and we can have the life we were meant to have. You're the only woman I've ever truly loved. The only woman I could ever love."

I kept reading, each email more devastating than the last. They talked about me like I was a joke, an obstacle, something to be disposed of. They shared intimate details about our marriage, laughing at my attempts to make Alex happy, mocking the gifts I gave him, the meals I cooked, the way I tried so hard to be a good wife.

One message from Sarah was particularly cruel: "I can't believe she doesn't see what's right in front of her face. You come home from our dates and she just smiles at you like nothing happened. How can someone be so blind? It's almost sad how much she loves you when you can barely stand to touch her."

I was still staring at the laptop screen, tears streaming down my face, when I heard his key in the front door. He was back for his things, just like he'd promised.

I closed the laptop and went downstairs, my heart pounding so hard I thought it might burst. He was in the kitchen, humming to himself as he made coffee. Actually humming. Like he hadn't just destroyed my entire world.

"You forgot your phone," I said quietly.

He looked up, and when he saw my face, he didn't look guilty or ashamed. He looked annoyed. "What's wrong with you now? Still crying about last night?"

"Sarah called."

His whole expression changed, but not to guilt. To anger. "You answered my phone? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"She said she's your fiancée." The words came out as a whisper.

He set down his coffee mug and crossed his arms. "And?"

"And? Alex, she said you're engaged!"

"We are." He said it so simply, like he was talking about the weather. "We have been for three months."

The floor seemed to drop out from under me. "Three months?"

"I proposed to her in March. Right after her divorce was finalized." He picked up his coffee again, taking a sip like this was a normal conversation. "We would have gotten married already, but I had to deal with you first."

"Deal with me?" I could barely breathe. "Alex, I'm your wife!"

He laughed, and it was the cruelest sound I'd ever heard. "You're a mistake I made five years ago. Sarah is my wife. She always has been, in every way that matters."

"But our marriage.."

"Was fake. A placeholder. Something to keep me occupied while I waited for Sarah to be ready for commitment." He set down his mug and looked at me with such disgust that I actually stepped backward. "Did you really think I could love you? Look at yourself, Lily. Really look."

I stared at him, this man I had loved with every fiber of my being, and I didn't recognize him at all.

"Sarah is everything you're not," he continued, his voice getting harsher. "She's beautiful, successful, intelligent. She doesn't whine and cry about every little thing. She doesn't beg for attention like a pathetic child. She's a real woman."

"Alex, please.."

"Please what? Please keep pretending I care about you? Please keep lying to both of us?" He started walking toward the stairs. "I'm getting my things. I have a dinner reservation with my fiancée."

I followed him upstairs, desperate. "We can work this out. I can change. I can be better."

He stopped at the top of the stairs and turned around, his face twisted with disgust. "You can't change into someone worth loving. You can't change into Sarah."

"I don't understand. Why did you marry me if you never loved me?"

"Because I was stupid and hurt and you were convenient." He went into our bedroom and started throwing clothes into a suitcase. "You worshipped me, and it felt good for a while. But worship isn't love, Lily. It's just pathetic."

I watched him pack, each item he threw into the bag feeling like another piece of my heart being ripped out. "Our wedding day... when you said you loved me..."

"I was lying." He didn't even look at me. "I was thinking about Sarah the entire time. Even when I was saying my vows to you, I was wishing it was her standing there instead."

The words hit me like physical blows. "Alex..."

"Every time we made love, I closed my eyes and pretended you were her. Every anniversary, every birthday, every holiday - I was going through the motions, waiting for the day I could be with the woman I actually wanted."

I felt like I was going to throw up. "Stop. Please stop."

"Why? Can't handle the truth?" He zipped up his suitcase and grabbed another bag. "You wanted to know why I'm leaving you. This is why. You were never enough. You could never be enough."

I grabbed his arm as he tried to walk past me. "Alex, wait. Don't do this. We can go to counseling, we can.."

"Get your hands off me." His voice was cold, dangerous.

"Please, just listen to me for one minute.."

"I said get your hands off me!" He grabbed my wrists and squeezed them so hard I cried out. "I'm done listening to you. I'm done pretending to care about your feelings."

I tried to pull away, but his grip was too strong. "Alex, you're hurting me."

"Good. Maybe pain will get through to you since nothing else has." He squeezed harder, and I felt something in my wrist pop. "I don't love you. I never loved you. I love Sarah. I'm going to marry Sarah. And you're going to sign the divorce papers and disappear from my life."

"I won't sign them," I sobbed. "I won't give you a divorce."

His face went completely dark. "Yes, you will."

He let go of my wrists suddenly and I stumbled backward. Before I could catch my balance, he shoved me hard in the chest. I flew backward, my stomach hitting the sharp corner of the dresser before I crashed to the floor.

The pain was immediate and excruciating. Something warm and wet was spreading beneath me, and when I looked down, I saw blood seeping through my nightgown.

"Alex," I whispered, my voice weak with shock and pain. "I'm bleeding."

He picked up his bags and looked down at me with complete indifference. "Maybe next time you'll listen when someone tells you to let go."

"Alex, please. I think something's really wrong. There's so much blood."

But he was already walking toward the door. "I have dinner reservations. Don't wait up."

"Alex!" I tried to get up, but the pain in my stomach was so intense I collapsed back to the floor. "Please don't leave me like this!"

He paused at the bedroom doorway and looked back at me one last time. "Sign the papers, Lily. It's over."

And then he was gone. I heard his footsteps on the stairs, heard the front door slam, heard his car start in the driveway.

I was alone on the bedroom floor, bleeding and broken, and the man I had devoted my entire adult life to had walked away without a second glance.

The pain was getting worse, and I was getting dizzy. I pressed my hands to my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding, but it kept coming. I needed help. I needed to call someone.

But who? Alex was gone. I had no family nearby. I had pushed away most of my friends because Alex always said they were jealous of our "perfect" marriage.

As I lay there on the cold floor, bleeding and scared and more alone than I had ever been in my life, I realized that this was what seven years of loving the wrong man had brought me to. This was the price of giving everything to someone who saw me as nothing…