Heartless

"Ganda sigurong mag club mamaya sa BGC," Sycanith said while checking her phone. Sycanith is a party girl kaya marami siyang clubs na pinupuntahan, habang ako naman ay tamang ilag lang sa mga plano niya na sumama ako sa kaniya.

"Club ulit?" Keeno asked annoyed. Si Keeno lang ang laging kasama ni Sycanith sa club, lalo na't alam ko na may feelings si Keeno kay Sycanith pero ayaw n’yang aminin, dahil torpe s'ya. Parang bodyguard ni Sycanith si Keeno dahil palagi siya nitong sinusundan, lalo na nung nasa med school kami, more like a dog bodyguard kaya nakakatawa siyang tingnan palagi sa tabi ni Sycanith. 

The ER has many patients today, buti na lang at may time kaming makakain ng lunch namin, kahit 3:30 na ng hapon ang time ng lunch namin. Binigyan lamang kami ni Nurse Hera ng 30 minutes para kumain ng lunch namin, so we have time to have some little rest before we go back in the ER. 

"Eh ‘di wag kang sumama! Mahirap ba ‘yun? Ikaw Wem? Clubbing tayo mamaya?" Pang-aaya ni Sycanith sa 'kin, so I immediately shake my head saying that I will not come with her.

To be honest, I'm a heavy drinker, but now that I'm busy saving patients. I have no time to drink and to have fun, lalo na't buhay ng tao ang nakasalalay sa mga kamay ko. 

Back in my college days, I was a party girl like Sycanith. Actually, me and Sycanith met each other at the bar, when me and Keeno were simply enjoying drinking with our classmates. She came to our table drunk, because her boyfriend bailed her.

A minutes had passed, another announcement came. Kaya nakinig kami agad ng mabuti.

"We need assistance in the ER, again, we need assistance in the ER," a voice from the speaker said and my phone beeps, so I immediately take it from my pocket and look at it. It was a message from Nurse Hera, from our gc in the ER Department.

Head nurse: tanders #1

Dr. Sanchez, Dr. Saldivar, Nurse Alvarez! Break time is over, mamaya na tayo magpahinga. 

Dr. Roez, Dr. Baes, Dr. Dela Cruz, and Nurse Montecarlos to the ER.

"Hali na kayo," tawag ko sa kanilang dalawa at linapag sa lamesa ang hindi ko naubos na kape at tumakbo na. They're both following in the back, pero nauna akong makarating ng ER. 

Maraming patients ngayon lalo na't friday, napailing nalang ako ng makita kong may isang pasyente na naman ang pumasok sa ER so I immediately took that patient. It was a girl in her mid 20's, has an arrhythmia and she was currently here in the ER because she was involved in a car accident. 

"How is she Doc.?" His boyfriend asked me, naka police uniform pa ito at mukhang nagambala pa ata ito sa duty niya.

"Ayos na siya, ang tibay ng girlfriend mo ah. I heard her car was completely crushed pero wala akong nakitang serious problems except her arrhythmia na noon pa ay na diagnose na as what she said," sabi ko sa kanya.

"’Di ba! Sabi ko sa'yo, ayos nga lang ako," sabi ng girlfriend niya sa kanya, and my lips just formed into a smile. I want to feel that feeling again, the feeling of being in love. But I'm afraid to take the risk, I'm afraid that Karma will chase me.

"Doc! Tulong dito!" An intern nurse shouted kaya nag-excuse muna ako doon sa kanilang dalawa at pinuntahan 'yong nurse na mukhang nahihirapan sa isang pasyente.

#

It was now 8:30 pm. pero 'di parin ako nakakain ng dinner, since puno parin 'yong ER. I was currently seating near the patient's bed, waiting for him and his MRI result so I can look at it. Sabi ni Sycanith ay siya nalang daw ang magdadala sa patient doon kaya pumayag nalang ako, dahil baka 'di ako makatulog mamaya dahil sa dami ng pasyente ngayon.

I closed my eyes sabay lagay ng kamay ko sa table at pinatong ang mukha ko sa palad ko. A minutes had passed, nagising nalang ako ng may sumigaw sa 'kin.

"Doc! There is a patient here! Tulog kalang ng tulog diyan! May pasyente dito!" Sigaw ng lalaki sa 'kin, so I immediately open my eyes. A man standing in front of me, his face is so close to mine kaya tumingin agad ako sa ibang direksyon. Did my heart just skipped a beat? No! Hindi pwede ‘toh. Teka ang lapit niya sa ‘kin, ang gwapo pa. NO! Wemia, HE IS NOT HANDSOME!

"Nakikinig ka ba sa 'kin? Kailangan ng babaeng ‘toh ang tulong mo, dahil ikaw lang ang walang ginagawa rito!" Sigaw niya kaya napatingin ako agad sa kaniya. Teka lang! Ba’t ang sobrang lapit n’ya sa 'kin? We’re both like a few inches apart.

"Saan s'ya?" I asked and then I immediately stood up, so I could avoid his gaze on me.

"Andito," sabi niya kaya sinundan ko siya papunta sa kabilang kama. Mukha itong ginahasa kaya tiningnan ko agad ang lalaki at sinuri.

Naaamoy ko ang alak sa lalaki, he has some lips marks on his cheek and his neck. His hair is messy but it's good on him, he was in a suit, and looked like a CEO of a big company. Did he... do this to the girl? 

"Guard! Take this man outside," tawag ko sa guard at chineck ‘yong babae na nakahiga sa kama.

"W-why?" The man asked, so I looked at him.

"Hindi ka naman boyfriend, friend or a family to this girl, right? Now get out," sabi ko sa kanya.

"I think you misunderstood something mi-," sabi niya pero pinutol ko iyon.

"Take him out on the ER," malamig kong sabi sa guard.

"I saved her! That's how you treat her lifesaver?" A man shouted.

"Excuse me sir, there's no proof that you saved her, now get out. Before we call the police," pagbabanta ko sa kanya, nanlalaban pa ito sa guard.

"Please sir get out, utos na 'yon ng head ng ER," sabi ng guard sa kanya.

"Doc! The patient!" A nurse shouted kaya agad kong tiningnan ang babaeng nasa kama at nag-aagaw buhay na. So I do the CPR.

"Normal na doc," The nurse said so I smiled at him. I look at the girl's bag and search for anything, and I just hold out a bottle of capsules.

"Is this what I'm thinking?" The nurse asked so I nodded at him.

"A drug," sabi ko at tiningnan ang lalaki.

"Did you give this to her?" I asked the man, letting him see what I'm holding.

"Of course not, I saved her from being raped. Tapos ako pa ang may kasalanan dito?" A man asked me angrily.

"Call the police," sabi ko sa nurse kaya sinunod n’ya naman ang sinabi ko.

#

"Yes, we’re sure Doctora Sanchez, he really saved the girl. We checked the CCTV of the bar, and he didn't take drugs," the police said, so I looked at the man who was looking sheepishly at me.

"So? Am I guilty or not?" The man asked and stood up. Leaning his body towards me, so I pushed him.

"I hate men who think like you. But still, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, and sorry for your time officer," sabi ko.

"It's ok Doctora, maganda na ang handa ‘di ba?" the police said and gave their goodbyes.

"So, can I... take you out?" A man asked me.

"No." I simply said and then walked past him.

"Ito na pala ‘yong MRI na hinihingi mo, Oh! Hi there handsome," Sycanith said and gave me the MRI results. Seriously? In the middle of the work?

"Here's the lab results," and Keeno just popped out of nowhere and handed me the lab result.

"Hi there miss," I heard that man say in his flirtatious voice.

"I need your opinion here Keeno!" Tawag ko kay Keeno ng naiwan s’ya doon sa tinatayuan nina Sycanith.

Umupo ako sa upuan ko at linagay ang USB sa desktop computer. We check the MRI results, but it's normal. And the lab results for the girl came out at naka-drugs nga siya.

#

"Gwapo ng lalaki 'yon kanina ah! 'Yung kausap mo kanina Sycanith sino ‘yon?" Nurse Hera asked, and I'm here, still checking the conditions of my patients this day. It's already 10:00 in the evening, medyo nagugutom na rin ako, at saka wala na rin masyadong pasyente na dumadating kaya makakatulog ako mamaya ng mahimbing, and I will take a day off tomorrow.

"Ayaw ko nuh! Bahala kayo na maghanap sa kanya, pinaghirapan ko kayang makausap lang s’ya. And he asked me for a date," pagmamalaki ni Sycanith sa kanila which makes them jealous about her.

"Who asked you for a date?" Keeno just popped out of nowhere again. I kinda jumped a bit when I heard him.

"Luhence," masayang sabi ni Sycanith kay Keeno. So I looked at both of them, nagdidilim ang aura ni Keno sa sinabi ni Sycanith sa kanya.

Natahimik na lang kaming lahat ng bigla na lang itong umalis, at kinuha niya ang kape na nasa kamay ko lang kanina, buti nalang talaga at ‘di ko pa ‘yon nainom.

"What just happened?" Nurse Hera asked, kaya nginitian ko nalang siya.

"He just stole the last coffee in the cafeteria, that was supposed to be mine," I said and sighed.

"Don't go with that man," sabi ko kay Sycanith kaya napatingin s’ya sa akin.

"Why? Sus! Nahihiya ka lang siguro dahil napagkamalang mong siya 'ang gumahasa roon sa babae," sabi niya sa 'kin at tumawa-tawa pa.

"Luhence? ‘Yon ‘yong name ng lalaking 'yon? Luhence ano? I swear to God Sycanith, if something happens to you out there with him... Papatayin ko siya, 'di kaya idederetso ko siya sa morgue," sabi ko kay Sycanith, at lumakad papunta sa office ko para magtimpla na lang ng kape, dahil kinuha ni Mr. Seloso ‘yong kape ko.

"Come on Doc. Wemia! Ang KJ mo naman," rinig kong sabi ni Sycanith.

"Kaya nga tinawag siyang Miss Heartless ‘di ba?" Rinig kong gatong ni Nurse Hera kaya napailing nalang ako sa sinabi niya.

"Walang salamat?" I asked Keeno when I entered my office, and there he was, sitting on the sofa while drinking the coffee that was supposed to be mine.

"Sorry, salamat na lang dito," sabi niya saka pinakita sa ‘kin ang kape.

"You know it was a latte right? Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng mga latte?" Sabi ko sa kaniya sabay sarado ng pintuan nang office ko at umupo sa swivel chair ko. Isinandal ko ang likuran ko sa upuan ko dahil sa pagod. My back really hurts.

"I know, gusto ko lang uminom ng kape," sabi niya. Tumayo ako at gumawa na lang ng kape.

"Every friday was the worst day of my life, but I think this day was the worst of all the Fridays," sabi niya sabay linis ng glasses nya.

"Mukhang lumalabo na ang paningin mo ah," sabi ko sa kanya sabay open ng desktop computer ko.

"Hindi nuh! It was an anti-radiation glasses, matalas pa ang paningin ko," 

"Kung matalas pa ang paningin mo, bakit ‘di mo makita na wala talagang interest si Sycanith sa 'yo?" I asked him jokingly.

 "Kita ko ang titig ng lalaking ‘yon sa 'yo kanina," he teased, while his eyes are still on the book he is reading. And now he wants to tease me, kaya palagi akong ‘di nananalo sa kaniya.

"Then?" I asked coldly, not really wanting to remember that guy and what I've felt earlier.

"Gusto ka nu’n, jusko po Wemia. Naranasan mo ng magmahal, bakit ‘di mo pa rin malaman kung gusto ka ba talaga ng isang lalaki o hindi?" Singhal n’ya na parang nanay ko.

"Because he's a womanizer?" I said and drank the coffee from my cup, and sat again at the swivel chair.

"How did you know he was a womanizer?" Keeno asked me, now staring at me.

"Lip marks on the cheek and the neck, got a little hickey on his neck. That’s literally a womanizer, Kenno." I explained, and he just clapped his hands.

"Ang talino mo talaga, kaya ka naging head ng ER eh," he said while still clapping his hands.

"Pero, seryoso may gusto 'yon sa 'yo. 'Di ako naniniwalang may gusto 'yon kay Sycanith," sabi niya sa 'kin.

"Then? Kung may gusto siya sa 'kin, eh ‘di ok," sabi ko sa kaniya at nagsimulang i-examine ang MRI ng isa ko pang pasyente kanina. 

"Kaya ka tinatawag na Miss Heartless eh, sikat ka kaya sa buong hospital sa nickname mong 'yan. Try to smile and have fun sometimes, haggard lagi 'yang mukha mo," he said and read his book again.

After what happened back then. I agree, I'm totally a heartless woman. And I will never show any affection to anyone. I will never fall in love again.