Chapter 5

MIA

I don’t know what he is, but I know he’s something.

As I stood behind the tree, watching him walk away with the man who looks like him, I giggled at the sight of two of the man I met during the battle.

“Grey.” I whispered. Testing his name again.

I turn around and walk away. I don’t want to, but he can’t know me. I shouldn’t even be here.

The only reason I came was because I can’t get him off my mind. I hear him, feel him and what I feel was heartbreaking. He doesn’t feel like the people I was raised by.

I wasn’t sure about him when I saw him at first. I was drawn to him when he invited me to sit on the log.

When he gave me that thing and shared his music with me, I was filled with a warm feeling. As I listened, I had vision of him. Holding me. I felt like I could feel his arms on me even though we haven’t been close.

Whatever happened on the battlefield that night, it was strong. I didn’t understand what it was. I still don’t. But for months he’s been the only thing I can think about.

As I perform my duties, he’s been the first thought. I now have a place to escape. I escape in Grey. No matter what happens to me, my safe place is the vision of the handsome man standing in front of me in the blue moonlight.

For years, I was alone in a nightmare. For the last few months, I’ve been thinking that maybe Grey could save me from it.

But, he can’t. He’s one man against thousands. I can’t endanger him by bringing him into my world.

I like him in my dreams. He’s safe there. I like feeling his happiness and fun music in my head. I makes me feel like I have a second life. Grey protects me from the evils that attack me everyday.

He belongs here and I belong there. It’s the way it has to be. I’ll be happy to keep him in my heart.

Now, that I’ve actually seen him up close, it’ll make my safe place that much better.

Even though he was joined by the other man, I was going to leave anyway. The want in me was starting to build.

As I took in his strong jawline and his soft, blue eyes, something was happening inside. I felt different. It wasn’t the feelings that I get at home. These were nice feelings. My tummy was doing butterflies every time I heard his deep voice.

I could feel myself heat up looking at his broad shoulders and striking features. He towers over me. His arms look like they could fight an army. Much like the men I’m used to seeing.

When he told me he was mine, I was confused. How can a man be mine. I don’t get things like that. But still, I kind of giggled inside. This handsome man was mine? I doubt it, but the thought intrigued me. Could someone like me actually possess a man? Since I’ve spent my entire life being a possession, I highly doubt that this is the case.

I don’t know what he was saying, but for now, I’ll just hold onto the thought that Grey is the man who is mine in my dreams. I kind of like that.

It took me days to find him, but this thing that’s between us, made the journey easier. I felt drawn to him even though I was miles away. I could feel him in the large structures. I sensed that he was in there somewhere. It was at least four nights of being in those woods before I found Grey. Now, I must go home.

I will, but I must see my brother first. I told the Alpha I was going to the forest and I need to make my presence known before questions are raised.

I enter the village and walk through the courtyard. I see some people run up the hill to Tays house.

Moments later, he came down.

“Mia? What the hell are you doing here? Xavier’s pissed.” He scolded me as he approached.

“What did you say?” I squeaked.

“I told him you were probably on you’re way here, but got lost. Did you get lost, Mia?” He glared at me.

I covered my mouth with my sweater and nodded.

“Ok.” He gently smiles. He walks up to me and puts his arms around me. He kisses the top of my head which makes me flinch. He steps back and rubs my arms. “Are you hungry?”

I nodded.

He smiles. “Let’s go.”

He leads me to his house for some food.

That night I couldn’t sleep. Grey was on mind.

After being so close to him today, I feel….empty. Like the distance is too far.

I snuck out of Tays house. The moon was high. I decided to take a walk through the woods.

As I cross through the brush and trunks, I hear something I’ve grown to like.

Music.

I follow it. It’s soft and sweet. I recognize the voice because I’ve snuck peeks like this before.

I get to the edge of Helena on a small hill. Through the trees, I see Alpha Lucius. He sitting on a stump with another man crouched beside him.

He’s playing the music on that thing he always has. He’s singing.

I sat and listened to the Alpha sing to whoever the dark haired lady was. I can’t see her reaction, but she’s not running away so I assume she likes it.

I like it.

After it was over, I watched a bit more before heading back to Gildon. I don’t come here often, but when I do, I’m always sick that I have to leave.

I didn’t want to leave in the first place, but I’m helping my pack by not being here and the pack always comes first as Tay tells me.

I walk back and imagine Grey on that stump. If I was a special girl like the dark haired lady, I’m sure someone as sweet as Grey would sing to me too.

I don’t get songs. I don’t get hugs filled with warmth and love. I don’t get anything.

As I walk back, the pull to Grey tugs harder. I can’t go to him.

I have duties to perform for my pack. He wouldn’t understand.

****

The next morning. I’m sitting at Tays. Waiting.

They sent a message to the Alpha to tell him I’m here. So I sit and wait to be taken back home.

Once the Alpha was announced, Tay stood me up and walked me out to the courtyard.

I wanted to run. Run to Grey, but I couldn’t.

I trembled as he came into view. My eyes stung as I fought tears. I can’t cry. He doesn’t like it when I cry unless he wants it.

I wrap my arm around myself and cover my mouth with my sweater as I look at his face.

His head is tilted and he’s grinning. The most evil expression on his face.

He walked to me with outstretched arms. He grabbed my head and kissed my hair. “Mia. I was so worried, love. You got lost?” He looked at my face as I nodded.

He smiled. “Well, next time, one of our drivers will drive you here then this won’t happen again.”

I nodded again.

He pulled me from Tay to him. “I missed you. I was cold without you.”

I cringed and my chin quivers under my sweater sleeve.

“Say goodbye to your brother, Mia.” He tilted his head.

“Bye…Tay.” My eyes flicked to my brother who’s face looked stone, but I could see anger behind it.

“Bye, Mia. I’ll see you again Ok?” He nodded.

I nodded back.

The Alpha turned me to the direction leading out of the village. “Tonight you’ll be in my warm bed. You must have been so scared being lost from me.”

I fight the urge to run. Run back to my brother as his words grind in my ear. I’d rather be in my cage than with him.

In my mind, I think of Grey smiling at me from the other side of the log. I think of how I wanted to get closer, but my body wouldn’t let me. I think of his soft voice.

At home, I think of Grey as I sit on the bed in the Alphas room. I think of Grey as the shirtless Alpha shuts the bedroom door and locks it.

****

The next morning I’m curled in a ball under the sheets, naked. A single tear escaped my eye and I quickly wiped it away. I’ve been awake for sometime, but I don’t dare move.

Then I feel him stir and again I fight crying out.

He rolls over and places a kiss on my shoulder.

My body shakes. I try to stop it, but I’m so scared because I know what comes now.

“Good morning, my love.” He drawls and kisses my shoulder again. “It’s time to get up. You have a punishment to serve, don’t you?”

A lump develops in my throat as I nod.

“You made me worry and that’s not acceptable.” He kisses my neck.

I nod again.

“Do you think three will teach you a lesson?” He rubs my shoulder.

Three. I can do three. I’m shaking at the thought, but I can do three.

I nod.

“Ok.” He gets up. “On your knees.”

I slowly get up out of the bed. I walk around it to the foot, trying so hard not to cry. I fall to my knees.

He sits down on the edge of the bed with a box. “Give me your arm, Mia.”

“Yes, Alpha.” I choke.

I extend my arm out.

He puts on a glove and opens the box.

He pulls out a large silver knife.

My eyes fill with tears.

“Don’t.” He points the knife in my face.

I press my lips together. Choking back my tears.

He floats the knife up and down my arm looking to find a place amongst the several scars there already.

“Do not cry.” He arches a brow as he warns.

My face goes red and my lips press together harder as he runs the edge of the knife through my skin.

Burning flesh filled my nose.

I can barely breath.

The pain fires through me.

I whine.

He does the second one and my head falls. My other hand grabs my thigh as I fight the pain.

I making noises, but nothing is coming out my mouth.

“Look at me, Mia.” He growls.

I lift my head. My face is full of excruciating pain.

“Good girl.” He smirks and cuts me for a third time.

My head falls to his knee at the pain of his knife slicing my flesh and burning it.

He puts the knife back and takes off the glove.

“Ok. Ok. That’s a good girl.” He lifts my head and looks into my eyes. “Don’t ever make me worry about you again.”

I nod.

He kisses the top of my head. “Off to your room.”

I get up and cross his floor. I open a heavy wooden door. It opens to silver laced bars. I open the barred door and step into a small room with a small window. A small bed and a dresser. It's done up like a woman’s room and has been my home for four years.

The Alpha walks over and locks it with a key he keeps in his pocket.

He grabs my hand kisses it. “Don’t worry, my love. You won’t be alone in here for long. You’ll have a pet bird to play with soon.” He smiles.

He shuts the wooden door and once I’m alone, I lay down and sob hard. I do a lot of crying, but this was different. This was because somewhere out there there’s something that can save me, but I can’t let him.