CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

FLASHBACK

Umalis na kami ni Dad nang gano'n gano'n lang. Hindi ko man lang nalaman ang buong pangalan ng lalaking pakakasalan ko. Just "Lance Vetara" and "Kingsland"—a first name and a company. That was all I knew about my future husband.

Ngunit may mga pangyayari nga talaga na hindi mo inaasahan. My Dad was caught by police that night. Nandoon ako kung saan niya binaril si Ate Cherry at si Tita Nessia.

He shot two people and police shot him twice—one bullet hit a vital part of his body.

The paramedics worked on him for twenty minutes before they stopped, before they pulled the sheet over his face. He didn't make it.

He was declared dead on arrival.

Isang maulang gabi na hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko.

Tita Nessia died because of Dad's carelessness and anger. Si Ate Cherry naman ay nakaligtas, ngunit hindi ko siya kayang harapin dahil sa takot na baka ibuntong niya sa akin ang galit.

I didn't know who to cry for. Si Tita Nessia na naging mabait sa akin? Or Dad, despite everything he'd done? Or the reality that I was tied to a person who treated me like he was just buying stock in his company?

Pangatlong araw ko na sa burol ni Dad.

Si Kuya Limuel, ang half brother ko, bumibisita minsan ngunit madalas siya sa burol ni Tita Nessia. Ako naman, hindi ko magawang makabisita roon dahil wala pa akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanila. Pakiramdam ko, kasalanan ko ang lahat ng ito.

Dad threatened me, saying he'd kill me or Mom if I didn't cooperate. That's why I brought Tita Nessia along that day, thinking she'd be safe if I was there. Pinapunta ko rin si Ate Cherry, thinking there was safety in numbers. I knew Dad wouldn't let his hand slip out of line, but I was wrong—he was capable of killing someone for revenge. More than capable. Eager, even.

Because at the end of the day, he's a murderer.

Kaya siguro hindi ako umiiyak ngayong libing niya. People probably thought I was in shock. But really, I'd run out of tears for him years ago.

"Kuya Immanuel," I called out to my cousin.

Inalalayan niya akong makatayo at makalabas ng burol ni Dad.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded slowly.

"Does Dad have a lot of debt?" I asked.

"Well, during the four months he was in prison, his business kept running, but it wasn't being handled properly. He accumulated some debts. A lot of them, actually. Why did you ask?"

"Do you mind helping Mom work in BVT instead?" I asked him.

Kuya Immanuel was the CEO of BVT, a successful logistics and construction company. Compared to Dad's businesses—import-export operations that always seemed just slightly shady—the Buenaventura company was more equipped and competitive. He's my cousin on my mother's side; my mother's maiden name was Buenaventura too. Maybe they could help her?

Iniisip ko na ngayong wala na si Dad, basura na rin ang mga negosyo niya.

"Yeah, that's our plan right now. Tita Marimar will be stressed out, she can repay the payables of his late husband. But the business won't recover in such a short period of time. It's too far gone. Limuel doesn't want to get involved either, and I don't blame him."

I nodded. I crossed both my palms in frustration.

"Bakit? Balak mo bang sumama kay Limuel papuntang America?" he asked me. "The two of you deserve to rest. Your dad brought too much chaos. You need to get away from all this."

Balak nga talaga ni Kuya Limuel pumunta ng America, doon sa step Dad niya. Pero kung sasama ako, ano ang gagawin ko roon? Bakit sasama ang anak ng pumatay sa asawa ni Tito Carlos? Sa ina ni Kuya Limuel? Sa asawa ni Tita Nessia? Sa ina ni Ate Cherry?

Damn, I don't have anywhere to go.

"Maybe it's fine if I go somewhere else too," I said slowly.

Mukhang hindi nakuha ni Kuya Immanuel ang ibig kong sabihin. He hugged me, trying to comfort my already shattered emotions.

"Condolence for the loss of your father, Xianny."

I was afraid. And that fear was more dominant than the sadness and mourning. Fear of facing the families Dad had destroyed. Fear of the future that had been decided for me. Fear of becoming like him.

May savings account naman ako at marami na rin akong na-deposit. Gusto ko lang magpakalayo-layo at iwan ang mga responsibilidad ko.

I was just a freaking 23-year-old trying to become a licensed nurse. I didn't want any burden like this! I wanted to study for my boards, start my career, and fall in love on my own terms.

Was that too much to ask?

"Luna," tawag ko sa kaibigan, isang araw bago ang libing ni Dad.

"Nandito na ako sa baba, Xianny. I brought all the stuff."

Nakababa na ako sa mansion namin at nakita ko nga siya. Gabing-gabi na at halos wala nang tao rito dahil bihira ang bumibisita sa lamay ni Dad.

Sa likod ni Luna ay ang isang sasakyan na itim. Malungkot niya akong binalingan.

"Are you sure about what you're doing?" Her voice trembled.

"Sigurado na ako, Luna. Please take good care of yourself," I reminded her.

Siya lang ang taong alam kong makakatulong sa akin at maiintindihan ako.

I was thinking about it for five sleepless nights and I came here trying to escape for a while.

"I don't know if it's right for me to tolerate this, but—" Her voice broke.

"Thank you for being my friend, Luna. Iku-kuwento ko sa 'yo kapag nakarating na ako sa pupuntahan ko," sambit ko.

"Mag-ingat ka, Xianny. Mami-miss kita, bess!"

Sumakay na ako sa sasakyan. Kumaway sa akin si Luna habang naiiyak na. Tiningnan ko rin ang mansion namin na aking iiwan pansamantala.

I was going to run away from my fear, from my responsibilities, from the people I loved. From the marriage contract I'd signed.

From the stranger named Lance who probably didn't even remember my face.

And most of all, I was running away because I regretted being tied to someone who never showed up after that night. Ni hindi ko man lang nakita ang mukha niya sa burol ni Dad. Hindi niya man lang ako kinumusta. Lance, who treated me like I was just another business transaction he'd already filed away and forgotten.

Hindi na ako lumingon nang umandar ang kotse. Because if I did, I might not have the courage to leave.

And courage was all I had left.

END OF FLASHBACK