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Chapter Seventy-Four
publish date:
2026-09-19 08:55:59
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His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Seventy-Four
Nikolai’s POVI thought I wouldn't feel anything. But I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and I knew it before it was over.There was nothing to it; the only thing that was between Petra and me was the alcohol, the anger, and the desperate need to become someone I clearly wasn't anymore.I rolled out of the bed in the private room above the club, disgusted with myself. Petra shifted, right before her eyes opened wide.I hurriedly grabbed my pants from the floor. All I could think about was Sophia. Fuck! I messed up big this time. I couldn't lose her, not like this.“What are you doing?” Petra sat up on the bed.“Leaving,” I said without looking at her.“Seriously?” She asked, “After the night we just had?”I had no words left to say. I had done the unthinkable, and my head was finally clearing up, but not enough to understand the gravity of what I had just done.I spent weeks convincing myself that loving Sophia had made me weak, that loving her was dangerous. And now, I had go
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Seventy-Three
Nikolai’s POVI sat behind my desk, staring blankly at Sophia’s wedding ring. The same ring I had forced her to have. Back then, it was nothing more than proof that Stefan Rossi’s daughter was mine. Now, it was something more than that.Along the way, she began to mean something to me, and that ring was starting to mean something way more than I could have ever imagined. But she had taken it off because of my own stupidity. I gobbled down another glass of whiskey. I didn’t want to feel anything. There was a knock on the door, and I sat up straight, hoping she had come back. Hoping she would want it back.I waited patiently as the door opened, and Jack’s head popped in.“You good?” He asked.I sighed helplessly, leaning back into my chair. Jack walked in anyway, with a somber look on his face.“Look, I know Petrov was like a father to you.” He began quietly, “I know it feels like you keep losing people to Moretti.”I let out a dry laugh. “I feel?” No, I didn’t fucking feel. I had lo
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Seventy-Two
Sophia’s POV“Loving you was a mistake.” His words hit like a sledgehammer to the chest. I couldn't believe he had just said that. It was almost as though I had killed Petrov myself.“You don't mean that,” I whispered, hoping he would take it back.And for a second, I saw a flash of regret in his eyes, or maybe I was just desperate so that I could hold on to something.“I mean it.”He was cold, and his body was as limp as his heart felt. This was all my fault; I had fallen for the man who ruined my life. I mean, what sane person would do that? Now I was standing in front of him, begging him to love me.I was pathetic, and he knew it. The tears gushed out of my eyes, but I couldn't let him see them.I shoved two of my hands against his hard chest, barely leaving an impact. I grunted as I tried again, this time harder, and he moved an inch.Before I could do it again, he wrapped his arms around me.“Let me go,” I yelled as I flailed about in his hands. “Let me go, Nikolai.”He did; he
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Seventy-One
Nikolai’s POVPetrov’s burial had a lot in common with my father’s burial. The air was tense, and you could put a bullet right through anyone in the room, and they wouldn't move a muscle. I was in an all-black suit, dark glasses, and Sophia in my right hand.Every single guest gave the same cold speech, like they knew a single thing about the man Petrov was. Jack stood at my left, shaking the hands of a thousand people I didn't give a fuck about.This was all my fault. I had gotten too close to Sophia; I had let my guard down, and now Petrov was gone.The rest of the service passed through like a blip, and we were back home before we knew it.I didn't say a word to Sophia the entire time. I didn't blame her; I was too scared that being so close to her would make me lose focus on what I had to do.I had to kill Moretti.As I walked quickly into my office, she followed closely behind; I could tell by the sound of her heels.She closed the door behind her as I diverted to the mini bar,
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Seventy
Nikolai’s POVPetra had the nerve to stand next to me. I looked at the drink she placed before me like I couldn't care less about it or her.I leaned backwards in my chair, exhausted by everything going on. The last thing I needed was Petra in my ear. I still needed to find out if she was the one betraying me.“We were never friends, Petra.” I finally responded to her statement.I didn't want Petra. I wanted Sophia, but she wasn't here.“Ouch, Nik.” She feigned a gasp as she walked round to take the chair directly opposite me. At the end of the day, I was a married man, and I did have history with Petra, and as much as I would like to block out that part of my life, I just couldn't.So I had to act accordingly. I didn't want her hand on my shoulder or any other body part. I didn't want her sitting next to me, and I most certainly did not want her trying anything remotely sexual with me.She poured herself a drink while I took time out to clear my head. I could be upstairs right now wi
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Sixty-Nine
Nikolai’s POVMy head has been spinning for three days straight now, all I can think of is Sophia’s words, and Moretti is right there in the corner of my mind, taunting me. The only thing I could do was get rid of Moretti; it was the only thing keeping me sane, and when working didn’t work, I drank, but mostly I worked to get rid of Moretti.I stared blankly at the map covering my desk while Jack continued giving updates. We were all in on hitting Moretti back; we just had to go full throttle.“Moretti’s planning something; he pulled men from Cicero and moved them south. We think he’s preparing to hit the distribution center.”“Then increase security,” I said, like it wasn't obvious.“Done.” Jack leaned back like he was proud of himself. I couldn’t deal with his eccentricities right now.I circled one of Moretti’s best-known warehouses. “We hit this one tonight.” I tapped my finger brashly against the spot.Jack frowned as he sat up straight, studying the map and then looking up at m
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter One
Sophia's POV“Sophia, sit.” My father muttered. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. A bad habit that became worse after mum died. “Dad…what’s wrong?” He didn’t say a word. He just carried on circling the living room like there was a fire somewhere. His bloodshot eyes darted out the windows e
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Five
Niko's POVI leaned back, taking all my plans in. Tonight was the night. Except my best friend and right-hand man, Jack, thought it was a dumb idea.“The Rossi girl?” He was standing right across from me. We never did see eye to eye on anything. It was a wonder how we managed to stay best friends a
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Four
Sophia's POVSleeping in this bed…in this house, with the enemy was one of the hardest things I had to do.Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Nikolai’s face, and all I could hear was his voice haunting my every thought. There was no way in hell I would have his child, but that meant I woul
His To Have And To Loathe Chapter Three
Niko's POVShe stared at me like she was a deer caught in headlights. The poor thing had no idea what she had just gotten herself into.“You can’t be serious.” She sprinted out of her seat. I could hear her breathing. Hard. “First, you point a gun at my father’s head because, according to you, he k
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