LOGINThe Chicago show was three months away.Jay stood in the empty studio. The walls were bare. The canvases were gone. They were in New York now. Hanging on walls. Being seen. He had nothing left to do. Nothing left to create.He sat on the floor. His legs gave out. He leaned against the wall.Cole walked in. He didn't say anything. He just sat next to Jay."I don't know what to do," Jay said."You don't have to do anything.""I feel like I should be doing something.""You've done enough.""It doesn't feel like enough."Cole put his arm around him. "That's because you're tired.""I'm exhausted.""Then rest.""I don't know how."Cole was quiet for a moment. "Then let me help you."Jay looked at him. "How?"Cole stood up. He reached down and took Jay's hand. "Come with me."Cole took Jay home.He made tea. He sat Jay on the couch. He covered him with a blanket. He turned off the lights. He sat next to him."Close your eyes," Cole said.Jay closed his eyes."Breathe," Cole said.Jay breathe
The countdown to New York began.Jay had a calendar on the wall of the studio. He marked off each day with a red X. Fifty-nine days left. Fifty-eight. Fifty-seven. Each mark brought him closer to the opening. Each mark made his chest tighter.He stood in front of a blank canvas. His hands were empty. His mind was quiet. He didn't need to paint. The retrospective was already complete. The sixty pieces were already packed. Ready to travel. Ready to be seen.But he couldn't stop."Jay," Cole said. He was standing in the doorway."I'm here.""You've been staring at that canvas for an hour.""I know.""Are you going to paint?""I don't know."Cole walked over. "You don't have to paint.""I know.""Then why are you standing here?"Jay turned to face him. "Because I don't know what else to do."Cole put his hand on Jay's shoulder. "Then rest.""I've been resting.""You've been waiting. That's not the same thing."Jay was quiet for a moment. "I think I've been waiting."Cole nodded. "I know."
The morning after the London opening, Jay woke up to gray skies and the sound of rain hitting the window.He lay still for a long time. His body was heavy. His mind was quiet. The rain was steady. The city was sleeping. He didn't move. He didn't want to move.Cole was still asleep next to him. His breathing was slow. His arm was draped across Jay's chest. Jay watched him for a moment. Then he closed his eyes.He drifted in and out of sleep. He dreamed of nothing. He woke up to the same gray light. The rain hadn't stopped. The city was still quiet.He got up. He walked to the window. He watched the rain fall.Cole stirred behind him."Jay," Cole said. His voice was rough with sleep."I'm here.""What time is it?""Late."Cole sat up. "Did you sleep?""I don't know."Cole got out of bed. He walked to Jay. "What's wrong?""Nothing.""Liar."Jay turned to face him. "I don't know. I feel... empty.""Empty how?""Like there's nothing left. No paintings. No shows. No deadlines. Nothing."Col
The traveling exhibition was confirmed.London. New York. Chicago. Berlin. Jay's work would cross the ocean. His paintings would hang in four different cities. People who had never seen his art would walk through galleries and stop in front of his pieces. They would feel something. They would remember his name.Jay sat on the couch. He stared at the wall. His mind was blank. Not empty. Blank. Like someone had wiped everything clean.Cole sat next to him."What are you thinking?" Cole asked."Nothing.""That's not possible.""I'm not thinking about anything."Cole studied him. "That's a first."Jay laughed. It was weak. "I know.""Do you want to talk about it?""About what?""About the exhibition. The tour. The pressure."Jay shook his head. "I don't feel pressure. I feel... nothing."Cole put his arm around him. "That's okay.""Is it?""Yeah. Sometimes nothing is what you need."Jay went to the studio that afternoon.The room was empty. The walls were bare. The paintings were already
The flight to Paris was long.Jay sat by the window. Cole sat next to him. The plane lifted off. The city shrank below them. Jay pressed his face to the glass. He watched until the buildings disappeared. Then he watched the clouds. Then he watched nothing at all."You're quiet," Cole said."I'm thinking.""About the retrospective?""About everything."Cole reached over. He took Jay's hand. "We're going to be okay.""We?""Us. Together. Always."Jay squeezed his hand. "I love you."Cole squeezed back. "I know."The hotel was in the heart of the city.Small room. Big window. A view of the Eiffel Tower. Jay stood by the window and stared at it. The tower was lit up. It sparkled. He didn't know what he was feeling. Excitement. Fear. Something in between.Cole came up behind him. He put his arms around Jay's waist."What are you thinking?""That I'm here. Paris. The retrospective. It's real.""It's real.""I don't know if I'm ready."Cole turned him around. "You're ready.""What if I'm not
The phone rang at 7am.Jay was still asleep. The sound cut through his dreams. He reached for it blindly. His hand knocked over a glass of water. It spilled across the nightstand. He cursed under his breath.Cole stirred next to him."Who is it?" Cole mumbled."I don't know."Jay squinted at the screen. Unknown number. He almost ignored it. Something made him answer."Hello?""Jay." It was Elena. Her voice was tight. "I have news."Jay sat up. "What kind of news?""The kind you've been waiting for. The Paris museum called. They want to feature your work in their main gallery. A retrospective. Your entire body of work."Jay blinked. "The main gallery?""The main gallery. They want to do a full retrospective. All your pieces. From the beginning to now."Jay swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I don't have that many pieces.""Then paint more.""I only have a few months.""Then make them count."Jay was quiet. His mind was racing. The main gallery. The main room. The museum. It was
Chapter Six: Cole pov(18+) Three days passed. Three days of stolen glances at the gym. Three days of almost touching and pulling away. Three days of lying to Maya over the phone while my chest burned with guilt and want. I couldn't take it anymore. "You're distracted." Coach Hartley pulled m
Chapter Five :Cole pov I didn't sleep. Not one hour. Not twenty minutes. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying the feel of Jay's hand on my chest. The way his fingers pressed against my ribs. The way he whispered my name. Tell me to stop. I didn't. Then why are you still touch
Chapter Four : Jay pov Three days later, Maya asked me to do her a favor. "Can you drop this off at Cole's?" She handed me a small envelope. "His wallet. He left it at my place last night." I stared at the envelope like it was a snake. "Why me?" "Because I'm stuck at work and you're close
Chapter Three : Jay pov I told myself it didn't mean anything. The staring. The way my chest went tight when Cole Ashford looked at me. The fact that I replayed every word of that gym conversation while lying in bed at 2am, staring at my ceiling, my heart beating too fast. It didn't mean anythi







