I Don’t Want The Love In The Diary

Finley's POV

Both my girlfriend Brielle Willow’s and my family threw the celebration party together.

The entire table was topped with my twin brother Michael Ashby’s favorite spicy dishes. My stomach, however, could not handle any spicy food.

Even the cake had been ordered in advance.

Perhaps due to limited space, only Michael’s and Brielle’s names could fit on it.

I sat between them.

The moment we started eating, the two of them kept playfully bickering right past me.

Michael reached over to snap Brielle’s shoulder strap.

“Hey, Brielle! I beat you by ten points. I should be sitting at the head of the table.”

Brielle laughed and sidled up to me to evade him.

“Fin, do something about your brother! He was already getting full of himself right after the exam. Now, he’s getting handsy with me!

Michael did not back down.

“Fin, don’t listen to her. She didn’t say a word when she grabbed my junk, did she?”

I remained silent.

Michael was so annoyed that he tapped Brielle’s hand with his fork.

“Hey, you’re so ungrateful! If I hadn’t hooked you two up, would you even snag a boyfriend as hot as Fin?”

With that, they went right back to a playful round of shoving and slapping each other as if nothing had happened.

I was stuck in the middle like a third wheel. The good news I had been holding in my throat died before it could reach my mouth.

Falling in love with Brielle felt like a lifetime ago.

Michael had gone through my diary and found out about my crush on Brielle.

I had begged him not to tell anyone. But the moment the SATs were over, the whole school knew I had a crush on Brielle.

He put his arm around my shoulder and said, “What’re you scared of? I’ll get her for you.”

He urged me to write a love letter.

I stayed up for three nights to write one, but in the end, I handed over the one Michael wrote.

Brielle read it and burst out laughing.

“Mic, I knew you ghostwrote this. You idiot, you didn’t even switch out the name.”

Michael hooked his arm around her neck and nearly knocked her to the floor as he said, “So, is that a yes or no? Because if you say no, I’m done with you for real!”

Brielle raised both hands in surrender.

She was afraid Michael would really stop talking to her, so she went along and agreed to date me.

He had always overshadowed me. Even when I worked as hard as I could and finally scored well, nobody cared.

I lowered my head and ate in silence.

A little while later, Brielle peeled an orange and gave it to Michael. He took a bite, then casually shoved it into my mouth.

“Here, try this. The oranges your girlfriend peeled are so sweet.”

Later, my parents peeled some shrimp and piled them into a small mountain on Michael’s plate.

He scraped two over to me with a disdainful expression.

“There’s way too much. Help me finish some.”

The orange was sweet, but when I ate it, it tasted bitter.

I was like a trash can at his disposal for everything he did not seem to care about.

I had had enough of this feeling that I had constantly felt since childhood.

I set down my utensils, blinked my slightly teary eyes, and looked at Brielle.

“Brielle, do you still remember saying that you’d go to National Service Academy with me?”

I thought back to the summer three years ago, when the sunset had painted the sky red.

On that day, I had failed my history test again.

I had squatted on the bleachers of the sports field and stared into space.

At some point, Brielle showed up. She climbed up onto the bleachers and sat down next to me.

She handed me a bottle of water and asked, “Did you fail another test?”

I buried my face in my knees.

“I don’t even want to do this anymore. I’m just not smart enough. No matter how hard I study, I can never keep up with you and Mic.”

She did not respond right away.

After a long pause, she pressed the water bottle into my hand.

“Then, set a goal for yourself. You love the ocean, right?

“Go to Southwick. It’s by the coast.”

I looked up at her.

She continued, “You can go to National Service Academy. I looked it up before. It’s in Southwick.

“The ocean is just right outside. There’ll be coconut trees everywhere. Besides, you’ve always wanted to serve.”

“Are you going too?”

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

She paused for a moment, then looked down and gave the step a light kick. “If you get in, I’ll go with you.”

“Really?”

“Why would I lie to you?” She laughed and reached over to ruffle my hair.

“When the time comes, I’ll take you to the beach on Sundays to pick up shells. You can’t handle spicy food.

“The food down there happens to be on the sweeter side. I’ll learn how to cook it for you.”

As she said that, the sunset fell right across her shoulder.

I wrote “National Service Academy” all over my diary.

Later, Michael found that diary. He had originally been set on Southwick, but then, he changed his mind and said he was going to Preston Medical instead.

That place was the furthest thing away from Southwick.

Brielle switched her plans right along with him.

“Oh... really? I don’t remember that.”

She chuckled like it was no big deal.

“Why are you even bringing this up out of nowhere?”

She leaned back in her chair and added, “I’d like to go to a medical school with Mic now. Besides, you didn’t even get into National Service Academy.”

I was stunned.

So, she did remember. She just had been certain that I would not make it.

“Hey, watch your mouth when you talk to my brother!” Michael put his hands on his hips and shot back at her.

“That’s your boyfriend. He’s your future husband, by the way.”

“Rubber that!”

“You’re crazy!”

The two of them started bickering again.

Right then, I just felt completely done with it all.

Back at the table, my mother, Trisha Underwood, was laughing about how cute they were. My father, Ian Ashby, and Brielle’s father, Wallace Willow, clinked glasses for the third time already.

Nobody even saw me leave.

The night breeze was cool against my skin.

I took out my phone and called my homeroom teacher, Noah Carter.

“Hey, Fin. What’s up?”

“Ms. Carter, could you keep my score confidential?”

There was a pause on the other end before she replied, “I could, but you’ll need it for your college application. Don’t you want to share your high scores with your family and talk about your college options?”

I leaned against the wall and peered through the warm, yellow-lit window.

Inside, Brielle had her arms around Michael, and they were spinning in circles together.

“No need. I’m applying to National Service Academy.”