I Need To Be Next To You [English version]

"My First Ice Cream"

[2006]

Once upon a time...

"Racheeeeeellll... Lenaaaaaa!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my small hands gripping the cold iron fence of our front yard as tight as I could.

But they didn't stop. They didn't even look back.

My two older sisters, Rachel and Alena [Lena], just kept going. They pedaled away happily with Karel and Josh — our next-door neighbors, the brother-sister duo who were always part of their gang. I watched their four shadows disappear around the corner at the end of the street, leaving me alone in a cloud of dust.

And then, I broke down.

My tears burst out like a dam that had finally broken. Even though I could no longer see them, I refused to leave the fence. I stood there, sobbing, my cheeks completely soaked with tears of pure anger and sadness. My small chest heaved up and down as I gasped for air between my cries.

In the middle of my dramatic breakdown, I heard footsteps coming from inside the house. It was Mom. She walked towards me with a concerned look on her face.

"That's enough, Tammy. You are still too little to play with them," Mom said softly, trying to coax me. "Why don't you just play with Mama inside the house instead, okay? Come on."

"NOOO! I WANNA GOOO! I WANNA RIDE THE BICYCLEEE!" I screamed hysterically, my cries becoming even louder. My hands clung to the fence even tighter, as if my life depended on it.

"You should be embarrassed, screaming and crying like this. What will the neighbors think?" Mom said gently, trying to reason with me.

"I wanna ride the bicycle with them, I wanna ride the bicycle, waaaaaah..." I screamed again, completely ignoring Mom's words. My whole world felt like it was ending.

"And where do you think you will sit, huh?" Mom teased me with a small laugh, trying to lighten my mood. She reached for my hand, trying to pull me away from the fence. I fought back, resisting as she tried to pull me into the house. "There are four of them and they are already paired up on two bicycles. Do you want to sit inside the bicycle basket? Or do you want Rachel to carry you on her back?"

"You're so mean, Mom!" I shouted, yanking my hand away from hers. I broke free and ran back to the front gate. "I WANNA GOOO! I WANNA RIDE THE BICYCLEEE!"

Mom moved fast. Faster than me. She reached the gate before I did and quickly locked it, sliding the bolt shut with a swift motion.

"Tammy, let's go inside! Don't make me really upset, okay," she said, her voice now much firmer and more serious. "You cannot catch up to them. They are already too far away."

Feeling defeated, furious, and utterly heartbroken, I threw myself onto the cold cement floor right next to the fence. I kicked my little legs wildly in every direction while I continued to sob. This wasn't the first time. My sisters had left me behind many, many times before. They always, always chose to play with Karel and Josh, forgetting all about me, their own little blood sister. I hated it. I hated them so much!

Mom seemed to have finally given up on me. She sighed and walked back into the house, leaving me alone with my tantrum. And that made me even angrier. I don't know how long I poured out all my emotions through my tears, until I felt my face, my eyes, and my head start to throb with pain.

And then, suddenly...

"Tammy, why are you crying out loud?" A soft hand touched my shoulder gently.

I turned my head. I looked up to see who was crouching above me. The moment I saw his face, my crying instantly subsided. I jumped up from the ground and threw myself into his arms.

"Janooo, they left me againnn. Waaah... they are so mean! Waaaah..." I cried into his chest.

Jano's arms wrapped around me, holding me tight. "Shhh, don't be sad. I'm still here, right? Come on, let's just play by ourselves. Do you want to?"

My tears stopped, leaving only small, hiccupping sobs. "P-play... where? Ride... b-bicycle?" I looked up at Jano through my swollen, teary eyes. My skin felt thick and puffy from all the crying.

Jano's hand now gently wiped my wet cheeks, cleaning away my tears. He shook his head slightly. "I don't know. Where do you want to go? We can ride a bicycle, if that's what you want. But let's clean your face first, okay?"

Without waiting, I nodded my head and ran inside the house to wash my face.

Fifteen minutes later, we were sitting together on the low fence in front of the row of shops near the alley of our house. The two of us were happily enjoying a single stick of ice cream together.

"Is it good?" Jano asked, looking at me with a smile.

I nodded my head vigorously while busy licking my ice cream. "Mhm, it's so yummy."

"Want more?"

"Can I?" My eyes stared at Jano full of hope and excitement.

Jano laughed when he saw my expression. His hand playfully tugged at my little ponytail, gently. "Of course, you can. After you finish this one, we will buy another one. But you have to promise me you won't cry like that again, okay? Especially like earlier, lying on the ground."

And that was it. That was my very first ice cream from Jano! At that time, I was only about four years old.

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