LOGINREVEAgad siyang napakurap. Then mahina niya akong hinampas sa dibdib. Not enough to hurt, sapat lang para mag reklamo sa sinabi ko.And somehow... that tiny reaction made something inside me relax. Because for the first time since we met again... I saw it. Her smile.And I swear to God... it felt like seeing sunlight after weeks of rain. “There she is.” Mahina kong bulong. Napakurap siya. “Hm?” “Yung smile mo.” Bahagya siyang namula at nag iwas ng tingin.Which only made me smile even more. “Stop crying na.” Mas seryoso kong sambit this time. Dahan-dahan kong pinunasan ang mga luha sa gilid ng mga mata niya gamit ang hinlalaki ko. “We're gonna talk about it.” Bahagya akong yumuko para magtama ang mga mata namin. “Whenever you're ready.” I want us to talk… pero hindi sa oras na gusto ko. Sa oras na kaya niya. Sa oras na handa na siya. Because I wasn't going to force her. Not after seeing how much she had been carrying all by herself. I wanted answers… God knows I wan
REVEPero hindi ako tumigil. Nanatili akong nakayuko at chinecheck kung nasugatan ko ba siya.“Let me see.” “Reve.” Mas malakas na ngayon. Doon lang ako napahinto at napatingala sa kanya.And God. I missed her. I missed her so fucking much. “I’m okay.” Mahina niyang sambit. “Nagulat lang din ako na tumama yung bato sa akin.” Bahagya siyang napatawa. “But I'm okay.” Tahimik lang akong nakatingin sa kanya. Unable to process anything else. “I’m sorry.” Mabilis niyang sambit. Napakurap ako. “What?” “I’m sorry.” Mas mahina na ngayon. Napansin kong namumula ang mga mata niya. Parang ilang beses na siyang umiyak, at mukhang ilang gabi na rin siyang hirap at hindi makatulog.Habang nakatingin ako sa kanya… I suddenly didn't know what to feel. Everything hit me at once. “No.” Agad kong sagot at bahagyang napailing.“No, I should be the one saying sorry.” “Reve.” May pakiusap sa boses niya, ngunit hindi ko siya pinansin.Because after everything... after weeks of missing her.
REVEBecause the room was huge. It felt more like a luxury suite than a normal hotel room. May sarili itong living room. Complete with a large couch and elegant furniture. May maliit na kusina. Fully equipped. May master bedroom. At hindi basta-bastang bedroom. The bed alone looked big enough for four people. Then there were two bathrooms. Isa sa labas, at isa sa loob ng masters bedroom.And when I stepped toward the balcony... I completely froze. The city stretched beneath me. Countless lights illuminated the darkness. Buildings. Roads. Cars. Everything looked smaller from up here. The view was breathtaking. The kind that makes you stop talking. The kind that makes you stare for several seconds. Or minutes. Without realizing it. A cool breeze brushed against my skin. And for the first time in weeks... my mind actually felt quiet. “Good choice.” Mahina kong sambit. Because I had to admit it. The place was incredible. Expensive, luxurious, beautiful.“Ang layo naman.” Nap
REVENapahawak ako sa ulo ko. Parang nakikipag-usap ako sa pader. Actually, mas reasonable pa yata ang pader. “Baka sambahin mo pa ako mamaya.” Napaismid ako. “In your dreams.” “Magte-thank you ka pa nang magte-thank you.” “Never.” “Sure ka?” Mapang asar niyang sambit.“Absolutely.” “Okay. Don’t eat whatever you said later.” Mas lalo siyang ngumisi. And somehow... that made me nervous. Bahagya akong natigilan habang pinagmamasdan siya. Because I knew Seb. I knew that expression. I knew that stupid grin. And every single time he looked like that... he was hiding something. “Nakakainis ka.” “Thank you.” Masaya niyang sagot.“Hindi compliment 'yon.” Inis kong tugon.“Tinanggap ko pa rin.” Napabuntong-hininga ako. Hindi ko maiwasan mag-isip. Saan kami pupunta? Bakit siya biglang naging sobrang determinado ilabas ako? At bakit parang masyado siyang excited para sa simpleng lakad? Something wasn't right. Something was definitely happening. And judging by the confide
REVEGod... I looked awful. Pagod ang mukha, guysot ang damit, maputla ang labi, malalim ang eyebags, parang ilang linggo nang walang matinong tulog at ligo, parang ibang tao na ang nakikita ko.“Look at yourself, Reve.” Mas humina ang boses ni Seb. “She’s struggling.” “Fine.” “I get that.” “But you're struggling too.” Tugon niya.Napapikit ako nang mariin. Because that was the problem. I knew she was struggling. I knew something was wrong. I knew she wasn't okay. And because I couldn't help her... because she wouldn't let me help her... I ended up destroying myself instead. Waiting.Worrying.Thinking.Overthinking.Every damn single time.“She’s not gone.” Mahina niyang dagdag. “She just needs time.” Napatawa ako. Pero walang saya roon. Just bitterness, exhaustion, and pain.“Yeah?” “Yeah.” “And what if she doesn't come back?” The words escaped before I could stop them. And the moment they did... I felt my chest tighten. Because that wasn't a hypothetical question.
REVE“You good, man?” Tanong ni Seb habang papasok sa bahay ko na parang sarili niya itong bahay. Hindi ko siya agad sinagot. Sa katunayan, hindi ko nga agad napansin na nandito na pala siya. Nakatitig lang ako sa bote ng alak na nasa gitna ng mesa. Hindi ko naman talaga ito iniinom para malasing. At least, iyon ang palagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko. Pero habang tumatagal, mas lalo kong napapatunayan na ginagamit ko lang ito para patahimikin ang isip ko kahit panandalian. The truth was… I haven’t been outside much since Scylla started ghosting me.At kung lalabas man ako, kadalasan ay para lang pumasok sa trabaho at umuwi ulit pagkatapos. Wala nang iba. Wala nang social gatherings. Wala nang spontaneous na gala sa labas. Wala nang kahit ano. Because every time I step inside that damn bar... siya agad ang pumapasok sa isip ko. Bawat sulok ng lugar na iyon ay may alaala niya. Yung counter kung saan siya na promote as bartender. Yung hallway na madalas niyang daanan. Yung ex







