LOGINWHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! One minute I'm on vacation with my family in Ireland, visiting a "supposed" fairy hill during a solar eclipse. The next, I feel as if I'm on a wild roller coaster ride. I am tumbling through solid blackness until I landed painfully on my ass in ancient TROY! The best part? I meet Braxius, a tall, dark Trojan prince who is known for being "too friendly" with the ladies and is determined to have me at any cost! What is a girl from the 21st Century to do?!
View MoreThe days turned into weeks with infrequent skirmishes Braxius had to fight in. But as a Prince of Troy, it was his sacred duty. So I worried for him when he went to battle. I still cooked in the kitchen, the busy work keeping the thought of the city's imminent demise at bay.Who understands what really happened, right? I mean, the poem written by Homer is not based on Actual history.Polyxena was also stirring up trouble in the Queen's court. Bitching and moaning how a "worthless, slut, the cook could ever be decent enough to marry Prince Braxius."Her words through the servant grapevine.But I shrug off Polyxena's influence with Queen Hecuba. The Queen can hardly stand the whiny bitch herself from what was said through her household. The only reason why she tolerates Polyxena is that I'm their mutual enemy.Go figure.Queen Hecuba wanted Polyxena restored in the Prince's palace. But from what Braxius told me after a meeting with his mother, he confessed to her how Polyxena refused to
"The Princess wants to have a big banquet in celebration of Prince Paris's union to Princess Helen," Adrexa informs me, her voice panicked. "The banquet will be in five days, and we will need to prepare a feast for at least 500 people, if not more. And the King and Queen will be attending."Holy Shit!It has been two weeks since my "marriage" to Prince Braxius. We've stayed away from each other, with me living in the servants' quarters, and the Prince doesn't interact with the servants. I was lonely at night, wishing things had turned out differently.Isn't marriage grand?"Okay," I say, taking a deep breath. "We can roast a pig or a boar. It will take a few days. We can order some fresh clams and fish. Those are not hard to bake outside. We can also roast birds and such. We can do this," I tell Adrexa confidently.I list everything we needed for the food preparations. In a couple of hours, we have the pig that will be roasted and hundreds of live birds in cages to be butchered and co
I am woken up by a sharp rapping. "Go away, Meena!" frustrated I can't sleep on my vacation. We went to fairy hill yesterday! What could she possibly want to do today that is so important?But the rapping on the door grows insistent. And then it hits me.I'm no longer in Ireland or in the correct century! Meena isn't here!I open my eyes in a panic, seeing nothing but blackness, and I am disoriented. Remembering yesterday's events, I recall I was in a small cell and a cook for a Prince and Princess of Troy!Stumbling in the dark, seeing a faint glow underneath the wooden door, I open it to a scowling Adrexa and Aeneas, both holding small oil lamps. "What?" I demand."You need to be up now to feed the house. Get moving..." Adrexa immediately stops."You were about to call me 'slut' weren't you?" I sigh."Get to work, Jessa," is all she says as they both walk away.I quickly close the door behind me and follow the tiny lights in front of me.A great start to a new day!I quickly learned
"Oomph," The air is forced from my lungs as I land heavily on a hard surface. I gasp, trying desperately to pull air into lungs that feel flat, panic my constant companion as I try to breathe. What The Fuck Just Happened?!As I finally managed to take a full breath of air, I gag as the scent of fermented yeast fills my nostrils. What the...?Sitting up tenderly, I place my swirling head between my thighs as the feeling of nausea assaults me. Don't puke becomes my silent mantra as the sensation of drinking too many beers and needing to worship the porcelain god washes over me."You there! Serving girl! Get your ass up and get to work!" Someone shouts from outside of my field of vision, which, to be fair, only includes the rough linen skirt which covers my legs.Wait, I wasn't wearing a skirt. Where the hell are my clothes?"Huh?" I snap my head upward, regretting the movement as dizziness and unshed tears from the nausea cloud my vision. As I blink, the room is into focus, my panic ret
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