Chapter 4

Connor

"Did you find her?" My father’s voice boomed around the room and down the corridor.

The man himself exudes a strong aura that could make anyone fear and tremble on their knees before him.

My father means that he alone plus nightmares is equal to death itself. Everyone is cautious around him, but not me.

"No, I couldn't, sir," I answer, standing up straight.

"Then what the hell are you doing here? What did I tell you?"

"To only come back when I find her."

He shook his head in disappointment. "Then, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?" he yelled at me, slamming his fist on his polished oak desk. I know that if I wasn’t his only living heir, my father would have killed me right away with no remorse like he did to other creatures.

"I came to visit mom," is all I said before turning around and walking out of his office. I didn’t come here to argue with him, and I don’t have the energy to do so.

"Where are you going...Connor, we're not done yet?"

"Moonshine Pack," I reply before closing his door.

The guards outside bow their heads in respect once they see me. I walk past them, making my way through the familiar hallways that were once filled with jubilant laughter and sunlight streaming in through these enormous arch windows.

There is none of that now.

At this point, everything is dark and ominous, and all I could hear was the deathly silence. It’s like I am walking in the castles of the dead, where there is no life lingering around here.

I stuffed my hands into my pant pockets and kept walking until I could see the spacious and deserted foyer. I can imagine that it was once bustling with people rushing around to get ready for a ball or a special event in our kingdom.

I could even imagine my mother moving around to make sure everything was in order. I may not have had the opportunity to meet her, but the stories I overheard from my people were enough to give me an idea what she was like. I'm glad to know that a queen like her is remembered by her people.

As I enter the foyer, I notice a ray of sunlight streaming from a covered window's hole in the ceiling towards the wall behind me. I turn to follow it and see that it rests on a large portrait of my family. It’s the only frame that is not covered with white sheets, and just like the hallway, the portrait appears hollow and depressingly gloomy.

My eyes shifted to see my father’s astute pose for a second before they moved on to my older twin siblings, who were named Aiden and Lola. They both looked sixteen at the time, and they both resembled my mother.

However, Aiden's hair is blonde and Lola's is pitch-black, like mine and my father's. They look proud while standing next to our father. For a brief moment, I imagined what it would be like to have them with me. I’ve seen siblings bond at Moonshine Pack, and it made me long for my own siblings to be here.

I avert my gaze and look at my mother, who is sitting on a chair with me in her arms. Her long blonde hair cascades down to her hips, and her blue oceanic eyes stare back at me as if she is alive.

As I watch our family portrait come to life, I smile. I turn aside and find them standing right beside me. My siblings clasp our hands together, smiling as they look at me. My parents were calling us in for a hug from the other side.

Tears well up in my eyes as I take a step closer to them. I stretched my arms to hug them back.

However, as the rays of the sun fade and darkness consumes the portrait, I am pushed back to reality and see that they are not here.

My hands clench as I remember that she is not here. My mother and siblings had died before I could say my first word.

"Connor," my father calls, and I turn back to see him. "I thought you had gone back."

"No, father. I said I'd go back after seeing mom, Aiden, and Lola," I say. "I am sorry about earlier," I added.

There is a pregnant pause between us for a minute before he lets out a sigh and speaks again. "Take care of yourself, son," is all he said before turning to go to his bedroom.

I watch as my father ascends one of the stairs until I can no longer see him.

"Take care, old man," I mutter, smiling to myself, hoping that he can hear his callous son’s confession.

My pa may be ruthless now, but he always has that reservation in his cold heart when it comes to me, and I’ve never resented him for the way he is now. It’s not his fault that he turned out to be so heartless.

I turn around, walking to the front door, when I am met with General Ralph storms in and slams the door behind him.

"Good day, young master," he says bowing.

General Ralph is my dad’s right hand and he is a very loyal man who has served my family for so many years. The scar on his face tells many stories of his past with my dad. This made him appear both intimidated and frightening. He is also our war general, who oversees our territories' recruitment and training while I am away.

"Good day, general."

"How are you?" he inquires.

"I'm still hanging on," I say, smiling at him. "How about you?"

General Ralph rubs his neck briefly. "I am always better," he said before asking, "Are you staying for the night?"

"No." I shook my head. "I'm getting ready to leave. Is everything all right? "I ask.

“Everything is in order. Your father makes certain of it, " he said with a confident smile.

"I guess I'll see you around then General, farewell "I said as I walked away.

“Take care, young master," he says, and I wave my hand back.

I step out of the castle, and the door behind me automatically closes. I let out a sigh of relief that I didn’t know I had been holding in.

"Your highness." Ramos, my right hand man, walked up to me.

"You’re home?" he said, and my Lycan could sense his nervousness.

"I am going back," I said, and I continued to walk past him.

"Your highness." I stop.

"Yes."

"About the other night. I am sincerely sorry for what my team did." I turn around to face him. His head is down, eyeing the ground. I know he meant what he said, and he is ashamed of their actions. Ramos' team caught Jane right outside one of our territories.

If it weren’t for me, they would have sexually assaulted her before they killed her, which is not our normal protocol.

They were supposed to hand them over to our authority for questioning and ransom when the time for the war came. Ramos wasn’t there, as he was with me. We were rounding up our Vanguard Territory after a meeting with Commando Lawrence, who is looking after it, when we came across them.

I was disappointed to find out that it was a team that flew with Ramos and me, not our Vanguard Territory’s men.

"They are in the dungeon. I’ve put them there for punishment."

"Remind them what they should have done to any intruder," I say with assurance. "This is not a playground for children," I added.

"I will see to it, your highness."

"Good."

"Your highness."

"Yes, Ramos," I am becoming irritated with him.

"About the girl, should I assign someone loyal to watch over her?" he said.

"No. She's not our priority, and besides, she has no value to me," I lie. Turning around, I walk through the hallway of our castle until I reach the exit. My next destination is my mom’s and my siblings' resting place.

After sometime, I lay on my back on the ground next to three headstones while facing the sky. It looks beautiful.

I’ve become far too pliable over the years. It was my father’s mistake to place me in the Moonshine Pack as our undercover. Even though vengeance burns through my veins, it isn't as strong as it once was and not like when I was young and in my teenage years.

Now that I am 22, that dark, hideous desire has faded because I saw a light. I guess it's the perk of falling for someone, and that someone is my mate.

I heard that Lycans do not have mates, but I am shocked to discover that I have one. It made me wonder if my parents really were mates.

I imagine her face as I watch the stars. Loving her was wrong and forbidden. I shouldn’t be loving her, yet I cannot stop my heart from beating for her. Her words may have hurt me, but my stupid, foolish, aching heart couldn't stop beating.

‘Mom, forgive me!’ words run through my head as I reach out my fingers, tracing the pattern of stars in the sky.

"I should have stood firm and refused to give in to the bonds. But mom, for the first time in my life, I want to feel something. Please understand me and let me have a little happiness in my life."

I cover my eyes by fluttering my arm across it. I didn't want to see anymore as I am too ashamed to continue watching those beautiful stars and the moon. I am too ashamed to lie here while admitting to loving someone that I shouldn’t love.

Someone who has already rejected our bond and shattered a piece of my heart.