10

Lilith’s POV

I hadn't slept in days. Every time I closed my eyes, his dying face came back, blood, screams, and the sound of my own sobs 

It felt like something snapped in my mind, and everything I had been bold enough to do since I stepped into this vague land seemed more like a dream than reality.

I should have felt relief, but his survival only kept me on edge.

When I first arrived at the scene, I thought he would be like the rest—cold and dead—but somehow the Moon Goddess had listened to my pleas. It felt more like she had only stretched out my misery, keeping him alive to take him another day.

It reminded me of my place, where I had come from. I wasn’t allowed to eat too much, drink too much—my life was always monitored by my brothers. Suddenly I felt free. But that freedom was strange. Too good to be true, and so I refused to believe it.

I didn’t want light. I didn’t want food, because I didn’t deserve it. I stayed indoors for those days, trying to keep my mind busy by reading the surrogate contract book Alpha Rowan had given me.

It was strange, the procedure was, but for a while it took my mind off the events.

But the evenings and nights were worse. Every time I closed my eyes to sleep, it all came rushing back—blood, tears, screams, Rowan’s dying face—and I woke up screaming like I had lost my mind.

This evening was one of those.

I had not eaten anything as Talia had brought Beta Cole in the morning, and they stood at my door saying something about checking up on me. I refused them entrance as I wasn’t ready to talk to him.

I had a feeling he was there when my breakfast was served, so I refused it—same with lunch. Even when Talia assured me he was gone, I didn’t believe her.

And now evening was here. I had just woken up from one of the terrible nightmares. I shot out of bed and yanked the sheets straight, frantically straightening every corner as if tidiness could silence my thoughts. Then I heard a soft knock on the door.

It was different. Soft. Like it was calling out to me.

I knew instantly it wasn’t Talia. Or Beta Cole. Luna Rachel, maybe.

I took quiet steps to the door and listened carefully. The knock came again, harder this time, with a voice.

“Open up, Lilith. It’s Rowan. I’m alone.”

I could feel my heart racing at his voice.

Four days. It had taken him four days to finally make up his mind to see me. Talia must have told him I had not eaten today.

I took deep breaths, and just before he knocked again, I opened the door to let him in while hiding behind it.

Immediately he stepped in, I slammed the door shut and lifted my head. There he was.

My mate.

I couldn’t move. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it might crack my ribs.

He was standing there with his back to me. His tall, broad figure silhouetted by the bright light. His eyes scanned the room—wide and sharp, taking in everything—and I was glad I had arranged it minutes ago.

Then he turned. I met his eyes for a brief second before I broke. I just needed someone to hold me, and before I could stop myself, my arms were around him and the tears began to flow.

A sweet lavender, masculine scent filled my nose and I could feel him stiffen, unsure of what to do with my sudden act—but I didn’t care. I cried into his chest, clinging to the proof he was still alive.

I’m not sure how long I cried, or how long he held me, but it felt endless. He didn’t say a word. He just held me and let me cry on his expensive shirt. When I was done and only sniffled, he rubbed my back and I gently pulled myself away, moving to the bed to sit.

He did the same, sitting opposite me with a concerned look.

“Hey, Lilith,” he called gently, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at his face.

“You shouldn’t have come,” I muttered quietly, my eyes fixed on his shirt—the same spot I had soaked with tears. “I’ve spoiled your shirt. I’ll wash it for you.”

“I came to make sure you’re okay. You weren’t eating and Talia was worried.” He explained it like he was talking to a child, as if raising his voice would break me again.

“I will eat. I just didn’t want to talk to your Beta. I had nothing to say to him.”

He swallowed and nodded. “I understand that. I should have listened to Rachel and come myself.” He muttered under his breath, and before I could react, he turned to the door.

“Talia!” His voice boomed.

The next second, Talia stepped in, her worried face taking in the view. “Yes, Alpha.”

“Bring her some fresh food. She’s ready to eat.” He ordered, and she nodded. I noticed a small smile on her face as she stepped out, and my heart melted.

Love.

I had found love in this pack, from wolves who knew nothing about me. And I decided then, that I would stay, and have babies for them—as many as they wanted.

I would obey all the rules in the contract book. If that would prolong my stay and make them happy, I could do that much. Especially for Alpha Rowan. My mate. The only one who survived.

When the door closed behind us, my eyes finally met his.

His eyes softly ran over my face, his concerned eyebrows raised in worry.

I could feel tears sting my eyes again. How could I be attracted to a man and not allowed to be intimate with him? Could this be a punishment from the Moon Goddess? It didn’t make sense. Maybe I was destined to never find love.

“Hey, you need to stop crying,” he whispered softly as his hand reached out to cover mine on the bed. Warmth spread through me quickly, and I looked into his eyes.

I loved the feeling. Love? I basked in it.

Even if I didn’t have a wolf to scent him as my mate, the way my body came alive at his touch, and the way his eyes hovered over me like a protector, said it all.

But I knew the bitter truth. If I wanted to keep him alive, if I wanted to last in this pack, I had to stay away from Alpha Rowan.

So I slipped my hand away from his, missing the warmth immediately and swallowing against the pain bursting in my chest from the sudden confusion and hurt etched on his face.

The door opened, and Luna Rachel stood in all her glory in the doorway, her presence radiating royalty as her suspicious eyes flickered between Alpha Rowan and myself. 

“I brought food.”

Her voice was warm, but I saw the way Rowan stiffened at her arrival and my heart broke.

She knew. Beta Cole must've said something to her.