04: Please Sign

WINTER:

Calcifer held his breath.  He was not expecting anything. He believed I could not ask him?

"H-how can you think that?"

He put the spoon down and faced me. His eyes held a lot of emotions which I could not decipher, but above all, I saw pity. Pity for me that he would be leaving me?

It was not hidden to me that women were after him. Especially Carmela. Maybe the two will be celebrating after I sign the papers directly. 

"Tell me why I should not get worried, Calcifer. Tell me because that might be the reason why you have forgotten about our second wedding anniversary."

His eyes widened, remembering this important day. 

"Pumpkin. I'm so sorry. I forgot. This was an honest mistake."

He never forgot even if this was only a marriage of convenience because the Calcifer I knew was not like that. He was putting all his efforts into something if there were some upcoming important events. 

"Let's forget about this anniversary and talk about the most important thing you wanted to say, Calcifer."

He averted his gaze. 

He looked troubled and I was causing it. 

I could no longer pretend that I was happy now. My smile faded and showed him the real emotion I felt now—sadness.

"You can tell me what you want, Calcifer," I urged. "I won't bite or tell Father about this. I am your wife. You can tell me whatever you want."

Please? Tell me where I was wrong and I will fix it myself. 

He heaved a sigh and that was my cue that he lost his appetite.

He looked at me. "Do you forgive me for forgetting our second anniversary?"

"Like I said, we can set that aside. It's not that important." It was important to me since I believed I only had a few months to live. That is why I want to cherish everything. 

He heaved a long sigh. "Pumpkin…The past few months have been rough."

"It was because of me," I said. "Is that the reason why you were able to come up with a decision?"

He groaned and shook his head. 

"You were unreachable. No matter what I do, you don't want to let me in your world. In your mind."

"That was true. It's my fault. I had been dealing with something."

"Something which you cannot tell your husband? This marriage started because of a contract, but I told you before that I want to make this work. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, pumpkin."

"This is only a marriage of convenience, Calcifer. You are using our family so that your company would be back on its feet again. You don't care about me at all. Tell me. Do you consider me a burden?"

Calcifer shook his head. "I never said that. I did try to make this work, pumpkin, but  I did not know how far away you are from me."

"If that's the case, why are you divorcing me?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "Pumpkin, that..."

"Enough calling me pumpkin when you're truly sick of calling me that. Strip off your pretentious act now, Calcifer. Tell me what you want while I am still nice. Because if I won't, I will tell Daddy about this."

His face hardened.

"I was nothing but good to you. But after overhearing you that you're going to divorce me, I could not help but wonder if your treatment is real or not."

"I'm not a hypocrite, Winter. Everything I showed you was real. My efforts were real. I promised myself that whoever was the woman I marry, I won't leave her."

I scoffed. "Really? Then why would you file for divorce? Until now you don't love me."

"I am sure we felt the same. You don't love me too and that's what we are even. That's why I pushed through with my plan."

I fell silent. 

If you only knew how much you had grown into my heart. If you only know how much I wanted to hug you right now and beg you not to push this divorce. But how could I imprison someone who does not even want me to begin with?

"What do you want?"

"A divorce from this marriage. My freedom."

My knees crumbled under the table, but I pretended that I was not affected at all. 

"The envelope earlier was not our marriage certificate but a divorce paper. How many months are you planning about this? One of Daddy's condition is that we will be staying with each other until two years. We are still in—"

"Today is our second year anniversary, Winter. It's written in the contract that I am now allowed to divorce you."

"There was nothing like—"

And then it hit me. He was right. Father did say that because he believed I would die after our second wedding anniversary.

I did not die, but I'm going to lose the love of my life. 

"I waited for the right timing."

How long did he wait for this? How long was he planning for this?

"You're unhappy with me?" I asked, my voice always breaking in the end. 

Be brave, Winter. 

"I...I don't know how to deal with you. You're difficult to deal with. You don't let me in. I did try, pumpkin. I tried to reach out to you. But you always shove me away, saying you want to be alone."

I felt that. 

"So you're giving up on me because you find me difficult?" I stared at the ceiling and then back at Calcifer. "Now I finally understand why old people say that love is important in marriage. If you don't love your significant other, the marriage will fail."

"Winter. This is for your own benefit."

How could this be to my benefit?

"It's for your own selfish benefits, Calcifer. It's because of Carmela, right. Did you cheat on me even if we are still married? And now that you have the chance to be with her, then you're finally doing it?"

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You know about Carmela? Did you do anything to her?"

Such allegations. Now, he was thinking I planned something evil against his girlfriend. 

"Is that what you think of me? You love that woman? If I sign the divorce paper, will you marry her? You're only saying everything was because of me because I would be sorry to you and sign the paper right away. But the reason why you want us to divorce is because of your woman!"

"I don't have a woman, Winter. We did communicate, but it's purely business. Carmela invested in our business just like what your father did."

"Bullshit! Either you tell me the real reason why you want to divorce or not."

Calcifer's eyes widened momentarily. He never heard me curse. Dad always scolded me if I did. 

"Winter. I told you the truth."

"I don't believe that."

My eyes swam with tears. Damn it. 

I did not want to be a cry baby. The doctor said that I should not stress myself or that might trigger the cancer cells. But how could I stop myself?

Calcifer. I loved him so much that it broke my heart seeing him want to divorce me.

He pulled out papers. "Believe or not has nothing to do with me. Please sign the papers once and for all, Winter."