Chapter 2

I had a low fever.

I spent the entire night shivering in and out of sleep.

When I woke, Gavin was outside the door, hauling luggage back and forth.

"Erin, why do you look so awful?"

Mia held a hot water bottle, watching me with concern.

"Did you get too cold last night? Gavin, please find her some medicine, quickly."

Gavin turned at her words.

"Erin hardly ever gets sick. Her wolf has always been strong. Mia's the one we need to worry about."

He pulled open the passenger door.

"Mia, sit up front. We can't let the old injury act up again."

I stood beside the car.

"Didn't we agree to go to the pass today?"

"Next time." Gavin helped Mia into the car. "The pack healer said she can't stay this high any longer. We need to get her to a lower altitude now."

Mia immediately reached for her seatbelt to unbuckle it.

"Gavin, don't let me hold Erin back. If she wants to go, you two go ahead. I can manage."

Gavin pressed her hand down.

"Stop moving. Don't you know your own condition? Don't push yourself."

Leah leaned against the car window and yelled.

"Daddy, can we go already? I don't want to go up the mountain again. It's so cold up there."

Gavin ruffled her hair.

"Okay, we're leaving now."

I gripped the backpack strap.

"Then I'll go by myself."

Gavin froze, then quickly grabbed my arm.

He lowered his voice.

"Erin, it's been three months. How long are you going to hang on to this?"

A patrol sentry poked his head out from the camp station.

"Alpha Hayes, we need to leave. If we wait much longer, the roads may get too bad to make it down today."

"Get in the car."

He closed his hand around my wrist and hauled me into the car before I could refuse.

The snowy plains outside the window flew past.

I touched the ultrasound photo in my pocket.

Let it go.

All of this really should be behind me now.

The car stopped at a supply station along the road.

The bumpy ride had my stomach cramping.

Gavin got out and quickly came back with a cup of hot mead and several pieces of roasted meat, which he handed to Mia.

"Drink slowly. It's hot."

He blew on it carefully for her.

Leah pouted in the back seat.

"Daddy's playing favorites. He only bought stuff for Mommy."

Gavin laughed, ruffled his daughter's hair, and handed her a carton of strawberry milk.

Then, finally, he looked at me, curled up in the corner.

He casually passed me a bottle of ice water.

"This is all they had. You never minded cold drinks, remember? You'll be fine."

Mia turned around, her voice full of concern.

"Erin just lost her pup. Shouldn't she avoid cold drinks?"

"You worry too much." Gavin started the car. "She used to drink iced cranberry juice in the dead of winter. She's tougher than that."

He remembered that Mia's old injury couldn't handle cold air.

He remembered that Leah liked sweet berry milk.

He even remembered that years ago, I could drink ice water on a snowy night.

It wasn't that he didn't remember me at all.

He remembered who I'd been before the miscarriage, when my wolf was still whole.

But who I was now?

He hadn't bothered to see.

The cramping in my stomach grew worse.

All I could do was close my eyes and endure it.

Gavin checked the rearview mirror, his expression darkening.

"Erin, stop dragging everyone down. You're the one who wanted this pilgrimage, and now you're punishing everyone with the silent treatment."

Mia quickly grabbed his arm.

Mia quickly caught his arm. "Gavin, don't blame Erin. She still can't let go of the pup. If anyone's at fault, it's me. I never should have come."

The more she said things like that, the harder Gavin's eyes became when he looked at me.

As if I were the one making everyone miserable.

"This has nothing to do with you." Gavin clasped her hand and stroked it soothingly. "She just doesn't know when to put other people first."

I stared quietly at their intertwined hands.

And just like that, I was done.