Chapter 1- The Appointment

MALAKAS ang kabog ng dibdib ko habang binabagtas ang kahabaan ng pasilyo sa ospital kung saan ako nakatakdang magpatingin. This is my first time going alone in the hospital, especially to see an OB-Gyne.. Nagdadalawang-isip ako kung tama ang gagawin ko, pero pag naiisip ko si Jake, I suddenly realized na worth it naman ang gagawin ko.

“Kaya ka nandito sa hospital, para magpacheck-up, and to make sure that everything will go smoothly as planned” I told myself.

Room 302. Basa ko sa nakasulat sa p***o ng clinic. I knocked on the door twice before a woman on her early 40’s opened the door.

 “Siguro sya na yung secretary ni Dra. Lucas” sa isip ko.

“Hello, good morning po, gusto ko lang sana itanong kung ito ang clinic ni Dra. Lucas? May appointment po ako sa kanya today, 10:00 AM” sabi ko.

Naningkit ang mata ng babae sabay tingin sa akin mula ulo hanggang paa.

“Oo dito nga Miss, pero hindi sya doctora. Doctor sya. Lalaki si Dr. Alexis Lucas” sabi nya saka umismid.

Nanlaki ang mata ko nung sinabi nya. Hindi ko naisip na may lalaki palang OB-Gyne, kaya nung nakita na ko yung pangalan niya ang may available time sa araw na iyon, agad akong nag-schedule ng appointment via email.

“Akala mo hindi talaga alam na lalaki si Dr. Lucas, nagulat pa kunyari” iiling-iling pa na sabi niya ng pabulong.

“Ano po yung sabi nyo Miss?” tanong ko.

“Ah wala, ang sabi ko, mag-antay ka muna dito sa labas dahil may pasyente pa sa loob si Dr. Lucas” aniya.

Umupo muna ako sa waiting area habang pinag-iisipang mabuti kung tutuloy pa ako o hindi dahil nga lalaki yung doctor na titingin sa akin.

“Kung hindi ako tutuloy ngayon, kailan pa ako ulit magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob para magpacheck-up? Anniversary na namin bukas, kailangan ko pang maghanda. Ah, bahala na, ngayon lang naman kami magkikita nung doctor na ito, hindi naman na ako babalik pa” sabi ko sa sarili ko.

Ilang sandali pa, tinawag na ang pangalan ko. Tumayo ako at naghanda nang pumasok sa loob. 

“Wheew! Let’s get this over and done with. Isipin mo Rachelle, this will be the first and the last time na makikita mo yung Doctor.”  I told myself.

As I entered the room, I was expecting to see a middle-aged man with white hair, wearing thick old-fashioned glasses. However, what I saw was a handsome man, maybe in his mid-30’s wearing the white doctor’s coat.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero nakaramdam ako ng kaba habang nakatingin sa kanya. He had a naturally smug face. There was something intimidating about him. Maybe it was his broad shoulders? His sharp jawline? Or his thick eyebrows and piercing eyes that held an unsettling intensity.

He was undeniably handsome, in a very mature way. Alam mo yung tipong isang tingin palang, hindi na maipagkakaila na suplado sya at hindi approachable?

He did not smile nor give me a greeting. He simply looked at me as if my presence was already testing his patience.

Great. Just great. Sa lahat ba naman ng doctor na ma-encounter ko, bakit ito pa na pogi pero suplado ang nakaharap ko?

“Miss, there are lot of patients waiting for me outside, if you are here for an appointment, maybe we should proceed?” he said in a very manly voice.

Doon naman ako biglang natauhan at nahiya. My face reddened because of sudden embarrassment. I also got so nervous by the way he looked at me.

“Pogi sya kaso masungit" sa loob-loob ko.

“Sorry Doc.” Sabi ko habang umiiwas ng tingin. “I just have few questions po, pero nahihiya akong itanong”.

He leaned back on his chair, still expressionless and said, “It’s okay, Ms. De Dios, let’s start. You are now 18 years old, are you pregnant?” He said casually.

“Hindi po! Virgin pa ako!” Nabigla ko namang sagot.

“So, if you are not pregnant, and still a virgin, why are you here instead of studying at school?”

“Ahm, kasi doc, I want to ask something. Gusto ko sana ibigay yung virginity ko sa boyfriend ko. Malapit na yung first anniversary namin, gusto ko gawing memorable” Mahina at nakayuko kong sabi.

Naramdaman ko na gumalaw yung doktor mula sa kanyang upuan kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. I met his gaze as I looked at him. Kaya nagbaba ulit ako ng tingin.

Ramdam ko ulit ang biglang pag-init ng pisngi ko. Lord, bakit ba ang hirap sabihin nito? Kung pwede lang sana tumakbo palabas dito at hindi na bumalik.

“Go ahead”. He briefly said.

“Well…“ lumunok ako. “I just wanna make sure I’m physically prepared,” dugtong ko. Forcing myself to look at him and meet his gaze, while trying my best to look composed, kahit deep inside para ng sasabog ang dibdib ko sa kaba. “What kind of checkup or examination should I get before having sex for the first time?”

“First of all, Miss…” He paused, glancing at the name written on my chart. “Rachelle, is it?”

Tumango ako.

“You don’t need a special examination simply because you’re planning to have sex for the first time.” He said.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. “I don’t?”

“No.” His tone was firm. “Your vagina cleans itself. There’s no special procedure required to prepare it for intercourse. The external area only needs gentle washing with water and mild, unscented soap if tolerated. Avoid douching or using feminine washes inside the vagina.”

Tahimik lang akong nakikinig sa kanya habang pinoproseso ang sinabi nya.

“So… no need for an internal examination?”

“Not necessarily. It depends on your symptoms, medical history, and concerns. We can discuss those first before deciding whether an examination or testing is needed.”

Tumango ako ng dahan dahan. At least, nabasawan ang kaba ko.

For the first time since entering his clinic, I felt relaxed. “Thank you, Doc.”

He made a small nod and reached for his pen. “Is there anything else you’d like to ask?”

Nag-aalangan akong sumagot. Actually Doc Pogi, madami pa, pero base sa expression nya, parang hindi na sya matutuwa kung magtatagal pa ako.

 “Wala na po Doc. Thank you sa time” I said and hurriedly stormed out of his clinic.

“Goodbye, Doctor Pogi, hope not to see you again”. Sabi ko sa sarili habang nananalangin na sana ay iyon na ang una at huli naming pagkikita.

                                                                                   ***

SA SOBRANG PAGOD, hindi ko na namalayan na nakatulog pala ako. Nagising nalang ako sa katok mula sa labas ng aking kwarto. Pagbukas ko, nakita ko si Mama na bihis na bihis.

“Ma, san po kayo pupunta?” tanong ko.

“Buti naman at gising ka na, magmadali kang maligo at magbihis, bibisita ang Ninong Alex mo ngayong gabi”.

“Okay Ma, sige.”

“Nakauwi na pala si Ninong Alex?” isip-isip ko.

Umalis si Ninong Alex nung baby palang ako upang manirahan sa abroad, kaya hindi rin ito naka-attend sa binyag, at wala rin kaming pictures niya. Kung mayroon man, sila Mama ang nagtago nito, hindi ko rin pinag-interesan pang makita dahil hindi ko rin naman sya personal na kilala. Isa pa, ang chika ni Mama, nagdecide na manirahan sa ibang bansa si Ninong dahil sa pagkamatay ng fiancée nito. Although Ninong lives in Canada for almost 18 years, continuous pa rin ang communication nila ni Papa dahil close sila. Sinabi nga na uuwi na si Ninong para i-manage ang ospital nila pero hindi ko alam na andito na siya.

Pagkatapos gumayak, lumabas na ako ng kwarto at tinulungang mag-ayos si Mama sa kusina. Ilang sandali pa, nakarinig na kami ng humintong sasakyan sa labas ng bahay.

“Baka ang Ninong Alex mo na iyon.” Sabi ni Mama. “Tara na at samahan natin si Papa mo sa labas”.

Sumunod na ako kay Mama palabas ng bahay para salubungin si Ninong. At doon, right there on the spot, I froze…. Because the man standing in front of me, is the very same doctor whom I met this afternoon.