Guilt

I groaned and pulled the blanket over my head.

Who does that? I had literally just told him through those stupid words that there would be more fucking. And there wouldn’t! I’m done. I made a mistake and I’m not losing control of myself ever again. What the fuck is that? High school? Oh, that fucking phone. Oh, my fucking fingers. Oh, that fucking man that scrambled my senses and made me lose all my sense of reasoning.

I can not even bear to guess what he must think of me now. Especially with that text. He must think I’m so easy. So cheap. He might see me tomorrow and never talk about the sex ever again. He might act like it was just a drunken one-night stand. Like I was probably just one of his many conquests.

That would be good right? He would ignore me and I would ignore him, and focus on Neil. Nobody has to talk about anything at all and everyone’s happy. Right? But why did thinking about it make my chest ache inside?

I heard Neil come in and he climbed into the bed