MasukThe day started off on a good note. I woke up to a sweet text from Jeff that said, “I love you my beautiful rose,” and he sent a flood of rose emojis after it. I swooned over the thought that someone actually loved me back. It was such a crazy feeling, considering I had no boyfriend last summer. He had been coming to my softball games at school and being super supportive. It was quite amazing.
I picked out a plain blue shirt and some nice black pants for dinner tonight. Actually having Mrs. Kyren over would be so nice. She hadn’t come over since I saw her in our living room a few months ago, and I really just missed her. The twins were with their dad, so it would be just her and Keegan. The twins were coming on the spring break trip though, so I would catch up with them then! I helped my mom get the table set while she made a roasted chicken, glazed with rosemary butter sauce. The house smelled like Thanksgiving. I had such a warm and nostalgic feeling from when we would be at my grandparent’s house and Papa Jim would teach me all about football while my mom and grandma cooked for hours. It was always so much fun. I set out my mom and dad’s anniversary china. My mom said it was just regular dishware now. Whatever that means. I turned to take the serving plates to the table and almost ran right into Baylen. He grabbed the trays from me, set them down quickly and pulled me into the living room by my elbow. “Let me go Bay!” I screeched. “What on earth are you doing?” “Listen Brees, I know you and Keegan have something going on, but can you two just not do this right now? Mom and Kyren are already dealing with a lot and if they knew you two were doing whatever it is that you are, it would add to their stress,” he said. I snatched my arm away from him. “First of all Bay, I am with Jeff. He told me he loved me the other night and I feel the same about him. There is nothing going on with Keegan. Not because of you either, so get over yourself,” I snarled. I was proud of myself for standing up to Bay. We aren’t that far apart in age, yet he insists on acting like my dad. It was ridiculous. “I just saw him kiss your hand the other day, so I assumed. My bad Squirt,” he said apologetically. I shrugged. “Keegan wants what he can’t have. He has no real interest in me. He only wants to have me beeline after him so he can continue ignoring me and making me feel like an idiot,” I said. He grabbed my shoulders. “I don’t think that’s true at all Brees. I just don’t think the two of you should date, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t truly like you Squirt,” he said bumping my chin softly with his fist. He gave me a big hug and then ran off to bother my mom in the kitchen. I could hear her yelling at him to unhand a garlic roll. Five o’clock rolled around and I could hear car doors slamming. The Patts were here. Baylen met them at the door and he and Keegan headed off to his room briefly. Mom told them to be back down in a half hour for dinner. They both agreed and ran off laughing and punching one another. I helped Ms. Kyren hang her coat. She looked beautiful in her purple dress with simple black heels. I didn’t realize we were dressing so fancy. Kyren also looked nervous. I knew we would need to support her when she told Keegan. I was glad Baylen was there to support Kee as well. As we sat down to dinner, I sat across from Mrs. Kyren and next to Baylen. My mom sat at the head of the table and between Kyren and Keegan. We had great discussions about school, football, softball and the twins. It was so much fun all being in one room together. As we started dessert, Kyren asked to make a speech. She stood at the table and grabbed Keegan’s hand. “I am so thankful to have you all here with us. I am even more thankful to have the support of the Hamlins as I share something incredibly important with my son,” she said looking down at Keegan. Keegan’s face was confused but he maintained a warm smile. You could see his affection and adoration for his mother. He just beamed when he looked at her. “What’s up mom?” he inquired, pushing his chair back slightly to get a better view of her face. “Well sweetie, you have asked me several times if I was seeing someone and I have told you no repeatedly. The truth is, I have been seeing someone and we have decided to make it official and be a couple again,” she stated. “Wait, I thought dad was with this new chick and he was being a complete asshole mom. What is going on?” he said, so confused looking around to see what we all knew. Baylen put his hand on Keegan’s back, to help reassure him. “No Kee. Your dad and I have not rekindled anything and he is the last person I would ever bring back into my life. Kee…I am trying to tell you that when I was younger, I had already met the love of my life. I was forced by grandma and pappy to leave this person behind, and now that I am older I am choosing to be with her,” Mrs. Kyren said.Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada. Coal. He can get her coal. That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…Mine.Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words. Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it. “You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.I definitely was in my Keegan stupor. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head. Tan.Muscles.White teeth.Gorgeous.These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds. “Hey. Squ
The lake had been Casey’s idea.Which, honestly, should have been my first warning.Whenever Casey said, “I have an idea,” it usually meant there was about a fifty-percent chance it would be fun and a fifty-percent chance someone would end up yelling.By ten in the morning, half our friend group had taken over the shoreline.Music was blasting from a speaker sitting on top of a cooler. Someone had brought a volleyball net. Towels were scattered everywhere, bags of chips were being passed around, and Baylen and Keegan were arguing over who had forgotten the sunscreen.I stood at the edge of the water with my sunglasses pushed onto my head, watching them wrestle over a football.“You two are literally children!” I yelled.Keegan looked over his shoulder.The second he saw me, his entire face changed.There it was.That smile.The one that still made my stomach flip even though I was finally allowed to admit that I liked him.“There she is,” he called.I tried not to smile.I failed.Kee
“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded. His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear. “Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed. “Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love.
The next few weeks, after I left for camp, were filled with softball and FaceTime calls to Keegan. When I went back to my dorm for the night, I would shower the dirt from the ball field off of my body and climb into my giant LSU shirt and sweatpants and cuddle up in my bed. Keegan usually called me around 8:30 pm after football practice. He was always so eager to chat and shower me with kind words. “I miss you so much. I imagine you here every day in my arms,” he would say.We hadn’t seen each other in person since I left for camp and that kiss we had was our last. We also hadn’t talked about the level of our feelings. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was there yet. Being able to see his face and hear his voice every night made this distance so much more bearable. When I return home we will spend every moment together that we can. We were smitten with one another. Again, we just hadn’t said it. Those three words, eight letters. I keep trying to say it when we get off of t
“I asked him not to tell and he was also embarrassed about taking money from my mom. But it has helped his family a lot and he isn’t working as much,” she noted.Again, something I didn’t know. Jada was more his girlfriend, pretending, than I ever was.“Jada, I appreciate you for coming by, but I do really need to get going,” I said, giving her a side hug. “It was kind of you to do this for me and for Keegan,” I finished, heaving a giant duffel bag into the hallway.“No problem. I hope you have the best time at your training camp. Get lots of goals and stuff. Or whatever they do in softball,” she joked.As she said goodbye I thought about what she had said. I wished Keegan had trusted me enough to know I would understand. We obviously didn’t have the relationship that he and Jada had. I went outside to place my remaining bags on the curb. Everyone was already there to see me off: My dad, Alison, Casey, Cyman, Quinn, Ms. Kyren and the twins. I didn't see Keegan. I gave out hugs and ki
The day finally came for me to say goodbye to my family and friends for three weeks. I was really going to miss their faces every day. I had five suitcases packed, a duffel bag, my backpack and my softball bat bag. The bus would be here to grab me in an hour. Baylen said they were not going to let me take all of these bags, but mom said she would drop off whatever I couldn’t bring on the bus. They rented us a charter bus. I packed my headphones and planned to watch a movie on the way. It was less than a two hour drive but we had four more girls to grab from the airport. Baylen was helping me carry my bags when he stopped in my doorway. He turned and his face grew somber. “Brees, I have to tell you something. I’m not supposed to say a word, but I saw how heartbroken you were the other night and I can’t keep watching my baby sis be sad,” he said. I was unsure of how my demeanor should be at the moment. I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I knew what he was going to say and it w







