MasukHomecoming games are my favorite. Each time I watch Baylen play it’s so much fun. He does such an amazing job of protecting Sterling from getting sacked. Bay is a beast. I remember when we were younger and my dad would try to make him play quarterback. Baylen fought it every step of the way. He always said he wanted to be the guy that protected the quarterback. And he does an amazing job of it. I invited Jada over to get ready with Casey and I before the game. If I was going to be getting over Keegan, I would definitely need to become friends with her.
I wore Baylen’s away jersey. Audrey thought she was going to get to wear it; that was the girl he had kissed at Keegan’s party, but he reserved it for his biggest fan! I have been wearing Bay’s jerseys since I was 7 years old and he played in his first tackle league with Keegan. We had a special handshake he taught me and I brought my cowbell with me that said Bay Ham on the side. This was a big deal and now that he was playing in his second Varsity Homecoming game, it was all the more special. Baylen would never let a girl come in between us and the same goes for me with a boy. My brother is always first. My Irish Twin, my best friend. My mom has always taught us that our sibling is the most important person in our life and we live by it. I put my hair in two pigtails with blue and yellow ribbons. Jada did my eye-black for me. She put it on thick like the players do. She added the initials, HT, under each eye in blue and yellow. It looked so cute. I did her hair ribbons and we both tackled Casey together. Her hair was so easy to do. Sometimes I wished mine would flow like that, but it doesn’t. I took a look at my poofy curls in the mirror. My curls are versatile, as my mom would say. I shook off the thought of not loving my hair and I grabbed my lip gloss. Jeff would love me in my fan gear, I hoped. He plays on the lacrosse team, so I don’t think he has a football jersey to wear. We finished up and headed to the living room to wait for my mom to be ready. She was driving us since the boys were already at the game. “So Brees, you like this Jeff kid a lot huh?” Jada inquired. Her face looked nervous as if she wasn’t sure of what my answer might be. She fiddled with her hair bows trying to not look directly at me. “I really do. He is so sweet and attentive all of the time,” I said, linking arms with her as if we had been old pals our entire lives. Her face softened and the fear left her eyes. She seemed to like my response and I was thankful. I don’t need her thinking I am after Keegan. Especially when she saw me come from behind the barn with him a few weeks ago. She didn’t mention it, but I know the thought was there. I was going to make sure she had absolutely no reason to suspect that I liked him in any way. “Jada we should write Kee’s girl on your cheeks,” I suggested, “This way everyone will know who you are,” I squeaked as I spun her around to face paint her cheeks. She smiled and shook her head. “I don’t know that it’s something he would want,” she said looking down. “I feel like he only dates me because his dad told him he has to. He hasn’t even asked me to be his girlfriend, so no, let’s not girls,” she finished. She smiled at me as if to thank me for the idea though. Casey and I looked at her with wide eyes and our mouths wide open. Did she really just spill this tea all over my living room like this? She is wrong though. I saw how he kissed her at his party. He likes her. I grabbed her hands and pulled them near my chin. “Jada, that boy is crazy about you. I never see Kee bring girls around and he brings you often,” I reassured her. “Now let’s get this paint on your face so your boy knows you are there for him 100%,” I said convincingly. I almost believed myself. I almost thought that maybe I really could get over Keegan.Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada. Coal. He can get her coal. That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…Mine.Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words. Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it. “You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.I definitely was in my Keegan stupor. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head. Tan.Muscles.White teeth.Gorgeous.These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds. “Hey. Squ
The lake had been Casey’s idea.Which, honestly, should have been my first warning.Whenever Casey said, “I have an idea,” it usually meant there was about a fifty-percent chance it would be fun and a fifty-percent chance someone would end up yelling.By ten in the morning, half our friend group had taken over the shoreline.Music was blasting from a speaker sitting on top of a cooler. Someone had brought a volleyball net. Towels were scattered everywhere, bags of chips were being passed around, and Baylen and Keegan were arguing over who had forgotten the sunscreen.I stood at the edge of the water with my sunglasses pushed onto my head, watching them wrestle over a football.“You two are literally children!” I yelled.Keegan looked over his shoulder.The second he saw me, his entire face changed.There it was.That smile.The one that still made my stomach flip even though I was finally allowed to admit that I liked him.“There she is,” he called.I tried not to smile.I failed.Kee
“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded. His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear. “Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed. “Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love.
The next few weeks, after I left for camp, were filled with softball and FaceTime calls to Keegan. When I went back to my dorm for the night, I would shower the dirt from the ball field off of my body and climb into my giant LSU shirt and sweatpants and cuddle up in my bed. Keegan usually called me around 8:30 pm after football practice. He was always so eager to chat and shower me with kind words. “I miss you so much. I imagine you here every day in my arms,” he would say.We hadn’t seen each other in person since I left for camp and that kiss we had was our last. We also hadn’t talked about the level of our feelings. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was there yet. Being able to see his face and hear his voice every night made this distance so much more bearable. When I return home we will spend every moment together that we can. We were smitten with one another. Again, we just hadn’t said it. Those three words, eight letters. I keep trying to say it when we get off of t
“I asked him not to tell and he was also embarrassed about taking money from my mom. But it has helped his family a lot and he isn’t working as much,” she noted.Again, something I didn’t know. Jada was more his girlfriend, pretending, than I ever was.“Jada, I appreciate you for coming by, but I do really need to get going,” I said, giving her a side hug. “It was kind of you to do this for me and for Keegan,” I finished, heaving a giant duffel bag into the hallway.“No problem. I hope you have the best time at your training camp. Get lots of goals and stuff. Or whatever they do in softball,” she joked.As she said goodbye I thought about what she had said. I wished Keegan had trusted me enough to know I would understand. We obviously didn’t have the relationship that he and Jada had. I went outside to place my remaining bags on the curb. Everyone was already there to see me off: My dad, Alison, Casey, Cyman, Quinn, Ms. Kyren and the twins. I didn't see Keegan. I gave out hugs and ki
The day finally came for me to say goodbye to my family and friends for three weeks. I was really going to miss their faces every day. I had five suitcases packed, a duffel bag, my backpack and my softball bat bag. The bus would be here to grab me in an hour. Baylen said they were not going to let me take all of these bags, but mom said she would drop off whatever I couldn’t bring on the bus. They rented us a charter bus. I packed my headphones and planned to watch a movie on the way. It was less than a two hour drive but we had four more girls to grab from the airport. Baylen was helping me carry my bags when he stopped in my doorway. He turned and his face grew somber. “Brees, I have to tell you something. I’m not supposed to say a word, but I saw how heartbroken you were the other night and I can’t keep watching my baby sis be sad,” he said. I was unsure of how my demeanor should be at the moment. I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I knew what he was going to say and it w







