LOGINI finished Jada’s make up and we headed out to the car. Mom was already outside, but I didn’t look at my phone to read her text. She had given it back to me after keeping it for two days due to my negligence of getting Casey home by 9:00 pm on a school night.
“Oh you girls look super cute,” my mom said. “Thank you Missy,” Jada said. “You know I’m such a hottie right Ms. Ham?” Casey taunted jokingly. My mom rolled her eyes and laughed. She made us pose for a few pictures and then we got into the car. We headed to the field. When we arrived there were so many cars. People were parked on the sides of the road and even on the side of the school’s grass. It was packed. Mom gave me $10 for snacks and we waved goodbye. We headed up into the student section where Jeff and Cyman said they would be at, after we got through the long line. The minute we got to the top I could see large balloons. They looked like they said something, but a tall older gentleman was blocking my way. Suddenly, I heard Casey squeal! “Oh my god Cyman! Yes…yes…of course,” Casey screamed. I truly still didn’t know what was happening until the gentleman finally sat down. I saw Cyman giving a bouquet of yellow and blue flowers to Casey and she kissed him! Right there, in front of all those people, my best friend had her first kiss. I was so proud and so excited for her. Cyman had asked her to the homecoming dance after all. After a few minutes, Casey settled down and we were able to watch the kick off. Keegan is our school’s kicker for the Varsity Tigers. We watched excitedly as the teams played. By halftime we were up 21-7. We have had a really good season. With two more regular season games left, we could definitely make the playoffs. I would love that for Baylen so much. He really wants to be scouted for LSU, Louisiana State University, so he needs exposure at a higher level. Jeff wrapped his arms around me almost the entire game. It felt nice. They were all so kind to Jada too. Sterling’s girlfriend, Kimber, got us all popcorn and sodas so we didn’t even need to leave our seats. Harlynn was there, but we barely saw him. So many people wanted to see him and say hello since he was visiting from college. I kept seeing Jada watch Jeff and I. I would lean into him more each time that she did. I needed her to see that I had someone and that someone wasn’t Keegan. She seemed to be having fun with us. I hope Keegan knows how we tried to include her. She really is a nice girl. I would high five her every once in a while and we would scream together along with Casey obnoxiously loud. As halftime wrapped up we continued to watch the game get more and more intense. The Falcons were only one touchdown behind now and we were at 3rd and 8. The center snapped the ball and Sterling looked for an open receiver. He scrambled in the pocket, trying to find anyone that was open. The offensive line eventually crumbled and Sterling was sacked. I saw Keegan grab his helmet and start jogging onto the field. They were going to punt the ball instead of going for it on 4th down. This was respectable. Keegan prepared to run and kick the ball, but the other team tried fiercely to block the punt. This caused one of the Falcons players to collide right into Keegan. I watched almost in slow motion as he hit him and knocked his helmet clean off. I held my breath as Keegan fell and slammed his head hard against the grass. We all waited. He wasn’t moving. He wasn’t getting up. SOMEONE HELP HIM, I thought.Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada. Coal. He can get her coal. That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…Mine.Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words. Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it. “You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.I definitely was in my Keegan stupor. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head. Tan.Muscles.White teeth.Gorgeous.These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds. “Hey. Squ
The lake had been Casey’s idea.Which, honestly, should have been my first warning.Whenever Casey said, “I have an idea,” it usually meant there was about a fifty-percent chance it would be fun and a fifty-percent chance someone would end up yelling.By ten in the morning, half our friend group had taken over the shoreline.Music was blasting from a speaker sitting on top of a cooler. Someone had brought a volleyball net. Towels were scattered everywhere, bags of chips were being passed around, and Baylen and Keegan were arguing over who had forgotten the sunscreen.I stood at the edge of the water with my sunglasses pushed onto my head, watching them wrestle over a football.“You two are literally children!” I yelled.Keegan looked over his shoulder.The second he saw me, his entire face changed.There it was.That smile.The one that still made my stomach flip even though I was finally allowed to admit that I liked him.“There she is,” he called.I tried not to smile.I failed.Kee
“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded. His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear. “Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed. “Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love.
The next few weeks, after I left for camp, were filled with softball and FaceTime calls to Keegan. When I went back to my dorm for the night, I would shower the dirt from the ball field off of my body and climb into my giant LSU shirt and sweatpants and cuddle up in my bed. Keegan usually called me around 8:30 pm after football practice. He was always so eager to chat and shower me with kind words. “I miss you so much. I imagine you here every day in my arms,” he would say.We hadn’t seen each other in person since I left for camp and that kiss we had was our last. We also hadn’t talked about the level of our feelings. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was there yet. Being able to see his face and hear his voice every night made this distance so much more bearable. When I return home we will spend every moment together that we can. We were smitten with one another. Again, we just hadn’t said it. Those three words, eight letters. I keep trying to say it when we get off of t
“I asked him not to tell and he was also embarrassed about taking money from my mom. But it has helped his family a lot and he isn’t working as much,” she noted.Again, something I didn’t know. Jada was more his girlfriend, pretending, than I ever was.“Jada, I appreciate you for coming by, but I do really need to get going,” I said, giving her a side hug. “It was kind of you to do this for me and for Keegan,” I finished, heaving a giant duffel bag into the hallway.“No problem. I hope you have the best time at your training camp. Get lots of goals and stuff. Or whatever they do in softball,” she joked.As she said goodbye I thought about what she had said. I wished Keegan had trusted me enough to know I would understand. We obviously didn’t have the relationship that he and Jada had. I went outside to place my remaining bags on the curb. Everyone was already there to see me off: My dad, Alison, Casey, Cyman, Quinn, Ms. Kyren and the twins. I didn't see Keegan. I gave out hugs and ki
The day finally came for me to say goodbye to my family and friends for three weeks. I was really going to miss their faces every day. I had five suitcases packed, a duffel bag, my backpack and my softball bat bag. The bus would be here to grab me in an hour. Baylen said they were not going to let me take all of these bags, but mom said she would drop off whatever I couldn’t bring on the bus. They rented us a charter bus. I packed my headphones and planned to watch a movie on the way. It was less than a two hour drive but we had four more girls to grab from the airport. Baylen was helping me carry my bags when he stopped in my doorway. He turned and his face grew somber. “Brees, I have to tell you something. I’m not supposed to say a word, but I saw how heartbroken you were the other night and I can’t keep watching my baby sis be sad,” he said. I was unsure of how my demeanor should be at the moment. I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I knew what he was going to say and it w







