My First Kiss…Maybe

Jeff grabbed my hand as we walked down the driveway. I could hear Keegan’s mom yelling for everyone to gather around for cake soon. I looked up at the moon, it was so big and beautiful. It hit Jeff’s face in such a delicate way. It made him look almost angelic. We turned around to walk back down the driveway and he finally said something.

“Brees, I like you, which I think you know. I was wondering if you would consider being my girlfriend?” he said, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

I looked at him and then over to the picnic table where they were singing Happy Birthday to Keegan. I longed for that boy to be mine, but he made it very clear that he doesn’t want that. Before I could even answer, the song was over and Jada grabbed Keegan by the face with both hands and kissed him. I had never seen him kiss anyone even though I knew in my heart that he had. He had a girlfriend before Jada when he was in 9th grade, but she moved away. He kissed her back and picked her up off of her feet. It was quite passionate and hurtful to watch. He literally was just holding me like this, like he wanted me to be his. He caressed my face as if I were the only girl in the world. But he kissed her as if she were the only girl in his heart. At that moment, I turned to Jeff who was still staring at my mouth awaiting an answer.

“I am not sure Jeff. We barely know one another. Can we hang out more before I decide?” I asked, looking painfully at Keegan and Jada.

Jeff followed my gaze and put his hands in his pocket. “Maybe you should be over there with him instead?” he suggested, nodding in Keegan’s direction.

I snapped out of my jealous rage and reassured him that he was reading it all wrong.

“Oh no, Keegan is a family friend and I’m just sad I missed singing happy birthday to him. I don’t think I have missed that since we met. Along with forgetting his gift, it’s been a heck of a day,” I said apologetically.

“I see,” he said quietly.

I don’t think he believed me, but he smiled anyway and grabbed me by the hand.

He took me right over to Keegan and said, “My girl has something to tell you Keegan.”

I looked shocked and didn’t know what to say. What the hell was he doing? Keegan looked at me and so did Jada, as if they were waiting for me to make some big revelation.

“Your girl huh?” Keegan asked. He looked at me puzzled and then back at Jeff.

“Yeah, I… I wanted to say happy birthday. We…uh…missed the song and I felt bad. We were walking and didn’t get back in time,” I said quickly.

“Well thanks Squirt,” Keegan said softly punching my arm. “Grab some cake guys. You must be hungry after that long walk,” he said with a smirk.

I felt like he was poking fun at us, but I didn’t even care. I was tired of his games. I’m Brees when he is caressing my face and holding me close, but I’m Squirt in front of his girlfriend and our family.

“We are heading out soon,” Baylen interrupted.

He had a girl with him that I hadn’t met before. She was super cute though. He walked over to the parking area with her after saying his goodbyes. He had his arm around her waist sort of guiding the way, so he clearly must like this girl. Baylen never shows affection to girls, so I watched them for a minute. As she was getting into her car he kissed her. It was not passionate, just quick. It was sweet. He motioned for me to come and I asked Jeff if he would walk me to my car. He agreed. He put his hand on the small of my back.

“I had a great time with you today. You are one heck of a cornhole player! Casey is pretty cool too. I think Cyman really likes her. He talks about her often,” Jeff said, nodding toward them as they walked behind us.

I chuckled, knowing that Casey would flip if she heard that. I looked up at him, as we neared my brother’s car. I wondered if he would kiss me goodbye. As we approached he took me by the hand and spun me around, placing his arms around me while we walked. I was walking backwards at this point. He guided me the entire way and I felt safe. He was looking down at me as if he were going to maybe do it. I kept catching him looking behind me however and it was completely killing the mood. What the heck was he looking at? Did he not see my glittery eyeliner and bronze eye shadow staring up at him?

“Brees, I will call you tomorrow okay,” he said, relaxing his arms just a bit. He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “See ya, Baylen,” he shouted, giving a salute to my brother.

Baylen was sitting on the hood of his car waiting for me and watching us the entire time.

“See you later dude,” Baylen shouted with a slight smirk. He hopped off of the hood and got into the car.

I followed behind briefly after Jeff started walking away. What a jerk! Bay was sitting there to intimidate him. I slumped in the front seat and crossed my arms. Casey wasn’t too far behind. She didn’t get a kiss either. So I guess we both had something to pout about.

“Put on your seatbelt Squirt,” Baylen said, starting the car.

Casey ran to the car and hopped in the back seat. He looked over at me.

“Brees, you know I’m over protective. I was just teasing. I remember my first kiss and you want it to be special and not in front of a party filled with people, you know?” he said in a more thoughtful tone.

I shrugged and nodded, looking out the window. Casey played with my hair a bit as we drove. I thought about what that kiss could have been like the entire ride home. The way he held me and the way he had taken care of me the entire night, played over and over in my head like that Fallout Boy song earlier. As much as I tried to make that my daydream, the moment I shared with Keegan kept creeping into my thoughts. His breath on my cheek and the way he had touched my face. It was everything I had dreamed it would be and then it was nothing. I pushed the thought out of my head and made sure to think about Jeff and our “almost” kiss tonight.