One Year To Lose You

MAYA

“I’m sorry, Maya. But from the test results… You barely have one year to live.”

For a moment, I thought Dr Mike was joking.

People don’t just walk into a hospital and get told they’re dying. At least not at twenty-one.

I waited for him to laugh and say he was kidding.

He didn’t.

Every other word coming out of his mouth started sounding distant, like someone had dropped me underwater.

“Maya.”

His voice came louder this time.

I blinked slowly and looked at him.

“You have an aggressive autoimmune hematologic condition,” he said carefully. “It’s already advanced.”

Advanced?

That word echoed in my head.

I knew something was wrong with my body. The constant fatigue. The migraines that made me want to smash my head against the wall. The nosebleeds that came out of nowhere.

But dying?

That wasn’t part of the possibilities.

“Does anyone else know?” I finally asked.

My voice sounded strange, even to me.

“No,” he said.

“Good.”

I grabbed my bag before my hands started shaking.

“No one should know. Especially not him.”

“Maya…”

“It will break him.”

Dr Mike leaned forward slightly.

“You shouldn’t carry something like this alone.”

“I will manage,” I cut in quickly.

If I stayed one more minute in that office, I was going to collapse.

“Thank you, doctor.”

I stood up and walked out before he could say anything else.

The hospital hallway felt too normal. How was the world still moving when I had just been told I was dying?

Lilly jumped to her feet the moment she saw me.

“What did he say?” she asked immediately. “Are you okay?”

I didn’t answer.

I just walked straight into her arms.

The tears came before I could stop them.

Her whole body stiffened.

“Maya… what happened?”

“Drive me to your house,” I whispered.

That was the only thing I could say.

*******

The drive to Lilly’s place was quiet.

She kept glancing at me like I might disappear if she looked away too long.

The moment we stepped inside her apartment, she turned to face me.

“Maya.”

I told her everything. Every single word the doctor said. By the time I finished, she was already shaking her head.

“No.”

Her voice cracked.

“No, this doesn’t make sense. You’re twenty-one.”

“I noticed,” I said dryly.

“This kind of thing doesn’t just happen to people our age.”

“Apparently it does.”

She paced the room like she was trying to outrun the news.

“We’ll try another hospital,” she said quickly. “A second opinion. A third opinion. I don’t care.”

Her eyes were filling with tears.

“I’m not losing you.”

That broke something inside me. I wrapped my arms around her.

“You’re not losing me yet.”

She pulled back suddenly.

“Have you told Ray?”

My heart stopped for a second, Ray.

I hadn’t stopped thinking about him since the doctor said those words.

“No.”

“You have to tell him.”

“No.”

“Maya…”

“I can’t.”

I shook my head.

“I watched what his sister’s death did to him. He almost lost his mind.”

My throat tightened.

“I’m not going to make him spend the next year watching me die.”

The words felt heavy in my mouth.

“He deserves to be happy.”

Even if that happiness isn’t with me. The tears I had been fighting finally escaped.

Lilly hugged me tightly.

“We’ll fix this,” she whispered. “We’ll find something.”

I wiped my face and forced a small smile.

“I need to get ready.”

“For what?”

“Dinner with Ray.”

She stared at me like I had just lost my mind.

“Seriously?”

“Life doesn’t pause because I’m dying.”

The word sounded strange when I said it out loud.

**************

A few hours later, I stood in front of my mirror wearing a short black dress.

Light makeup. Just the way Ray likes it.

If this is one of the last nights we’ll spend together, I want him to remember me like this, beautiful, happy, and alive.

He picked a rooftop restaurant.

Soft golden lights. Flower petals on the floor. The New York skyline glowing behind him.

And Ray standing there looking at me like I was his entire world.

“You look beautiful, sugar,” he said, pulling me into his arms.

My stomach twisted.

“So beautiful.”

His voice softened.

“I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Please stop. Please don’t say things like that.

“I love you more than anything.”

Then he stepped back, and slowly dropped to one knee.

My heart stopped.

He opened the ring box. The diamond sparkled under the lights.

“From the first day I saw you at that book signing,” he said, his voice shaking slightly, “I knew you were the one.”

My chest tightened.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Maya.”

He looked up at me.

“Marry me.”

For a second, the world stood still.

This was everything I ever wanted. A home, kids, growing old with him.

But I don’t get old. I get one year.

I slowly stepped back.

His smile faded.

“Maya?”

I couldn’t look at him. If I did, I would say yes.

“I’m sorry, Raymond,” I said quietly.

“But I can’t marry you.”

The confusion in his eyes hurt more than anything.

“I’ve fallen out of love with you,” I continued.

“I’m in love with someone else.”

The words tasted like poison.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Ray stared at me. Then he laughed.

“Must you always try to scare me like this?” he said lightly.

“Sugar, you should see your face right now.”

“I’m not joking.”

The smile slowly disappeared.

“What?”

“I’m tired of pretending.”

“My heart skips for another man now.”

The ring was still in his hand.

“You’re serious?” he asked.

I nodded.

“This isn’t funny, Maya.”

“It’s not supposed to be.”

His eyes searched my face desperately.

“Look at me and say you don’t love me.”

My chest felt like it was collapsing.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

The words nearly destroyed me.

Ray didn’t laugh this time.

“Maya…”

I turned before he could finish.

Because if I stayed one more second… I would break.