"Celeste!" I heard my mother shout. I walked out of the kitchen, wiping my hands on the apron that I was wearing. My hair was tied up, my cheeks were dusted with flour, and I looked ridiculous.
"Yeah?" I looked at her while she stood in the doorway. There was a postman at the door holding an envelope with him.
I went towards them so that I could sign for the package and see what it was. The postman handed over the package and left without saying a word. I shut the door close while my mother looked at me expectantly for an answer.
The envelope was white in colour, with my name on it. I ripped it open to see that it was a letter from the University of Edinburgh. My heart skipped a beat, and I felt the nervousness kicking in. What if it said that I didn't get in? I felt the urge to sit, this was the letter that would either be a sweet fruit for all my troubles that I went through, or it would be another one of my huge disappointments.
"Open it." I heard my mother say. I gave her a slight nod, and I slowly broke the seal.
My eyes glanced over the basic introductions but widened when they read one line- I made it. I was able to get a seat in this prestigious university and for the course of my choice. I was on cloud nine.
"I got in!" I exclaimed my arms up in the air and a huge smile on my face.
"I am so proud of you!" My mother told me, hugging me. I felt like I could finally take a deep breath. After a year and a half did I finally get what I had prayed for.
"Guess what? I just received the acceptance letter from Edinburgh." I quickly texted my friends. I soon had to go about saying thank you for all the congratulations messages that were flooding my phone.
I went up to my room and pulled out my planner from my pile of books and ticked off the 'get into the university' section. Step 3 was over, and a few more steps to be completed.
Now I had to get all my financials and other things in place. I wanted to call up Phoebe and Alexandra about their letters so that we could start planning for the apartments. Yes, we three had decided to live together till we finished our masters and maybe for a little more while. It was a good strategy to do so it would make things much easier. I decided to ask them later about it if they had received it they would have told me about it. It was not right of me to just rub it in their faces that I got it before them. I switched on my laptop and started browsing through the apartment options, and noted down the contact details of a few real estate owners.
Although I knew that now I could give myself at least a day to rest, but yet there was so much stuff to be done and not much time left before I had to fly. So I did what I did always - keep myself busy with the things that were to be done.
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"I have a few apartments that I have already shortlisted for you girls. I am pretty sure that you will like them all. Once you reach here, you can have a physical look at those, and we can get the paperwork done right away." Mr Robin, says through the speakerphone.
"Sounds great. Our flight tickets are booked for the 28th of August. We will contact you as soon as we reach Edinburgh." Alexandra replies, next to me.
We say goodbye to Robin and end the call. Alexandra and Phoebe had received their acceptance letter a week after mine. Robin was a real estate agent that we had gotten in touch with to help us with the apartment for our duration of stay in Edinburgh. He was a very sweet man, and he was helping us a lot with the whole apartment searching and stuff.
"Okay. So we have this thing also sorted, now we only have to do the packing, shopping and wrap up with all the other minute details." I added. They both nodded their heads, and a wide smile broke out on our faces. We were doing this!
"Okay so three months until we fly out of this country and a week before graduation," Phoebe adds. I was hoping that these three months would go by faster.
"We will finally get to see Celeste in a saree," Alexandra adds. I vigorously shake my head.
"I am wearing a dress if I can't wear a dress I am skipping graduation!" I reply stubbornly. Sarees weren't just my thing. I know it was a typical Indian girl thing to want to wear a saree but I already wore it twice (and that's because it was 10 and 12th grade, and it was compulsory to wear the saree they provided for graduation. Basically I was forced to wear it and I hated every second of it.)
"You can't skip graduation!" Phoebe added, rolling her eyes.
"Watch me," I replied. I didn't get the hype around sarees really. It just felt soo weird to wear one. I could go ahead and wear the heaviest gown ever made, but never wear a saree. I guess I wasn't completely desi in that aspect, the very reason why my friends called me a white-washed brown girl, I guess I truly was one.
"Okay fine, wear your dress. But don't miss graduation." Alexandra added, shaking her head at me.
"I think I should head home now," I commented after a while. We were at Alexandra's house; her house was in the middle whereas Phoebe's and mine were on the opposite sides of the city.
"I should probably leave too!" Phoebe added. Alexandra nodded her head, and we packed our bags.
"See you guys in 15 days time," Alexandra adds, giving us a hug and waving us goodbye.
Both me and Phoebe make our way to the bus stops, both of us going on our opposite ways. I let out a breath, in three months time, I would finally be out of this place and get a chance to start fresh. I hope Scotland would treat me much better than this place, both mentally and physically. God knows since how long I have been craving for a break.
I plug in my earphones and ignore the noises around me.
ME: 'I am wearing a suit!'I typed into our group chat. I heard my phone ding with an incoming message, not even a second after I typed that.Phoebe: 'What?'Me: ' For Graduation, I am going to wear a power suit.'Phoebe:' But what about the dress code/?'Me: 'Not like they will be able to notice with the black robe on.' I was smiling now. I had finally found a loophole.Phoebe: 'Actually, yeah.'Phoebe: ' I don't want to wear a saree too. I will join you and wear a suit too.'Me: 'Great. I was actually considering skipping it if I didn't have a choice. 'Phoebe: 'I will smack you if you do!'Alexandra: ' I actually want to wear a saree again. But this time I want to look sexy in it.'I rolled my eyes at that text.Me: 'Have fun trying to manage a saree and trying to look sexy at the same time.'Alexandra: 'If you guys aren't wearing
I honestly am not completely informed when it comes to sexuality, and it's vastness. I still have a lot to learn, and I am trying every day to be more informed about it and to respect everybody for their choices and their identities or lack of thereof. No matter what it is, my moto was -TPWK, treat people with kindness always."Shall we go to the bookstore for a bit? I am craving the smell of new books." I said. Both Phoebe and Alexandra nodded. It had become a ritual now, us visiting the bookstore every time we came to the mall.We visited the washroom to clean up before visiting the book store. I fixed my hair and applied a layer of gloss."Gloss?" I asked Phoebe and Alexa, pointing the gloss at them. Alexa shakes her head no, while Phoebe accepted the offer."Let's go?" I asked, and we left the loo together.--I take a deep breath, taking in the smell of the books that wafted in the air. The air conditioner
My mind reminded me of the things that I could no longer do, the things that I missed out and all the times that I wished he would leave me alone. It was getting harder to breathe with every sob that was wrecking my body. My eyes burned, and my tear glands seemed to have an endless supply of tears. It just wasn't fair how the heart felt so much pain when it was just a blob of flesh.After some time, I decided that I had to stop crying, and I went to the bathroom. I didn't want my mother or my sister to see it, although they were probably already asleep.I splashed water on my face and looked at my face. Over the years, I had developed a sort of superpower; you could never know if I was crying moments ago. My eyes never longer turned red or would get swollen whenever I cried. I know it wasn't really a superpower, but I considered it as one. I could be in the bathroom, bawling my eyes while people chatted and made jokes outside. I could walk out any time and
"Mum, they said that they can cover only half of the tuition," I told my mother. I could feel my eyes burning up from the tears. I couldn't believe that this was happening again. I had applied for an education loan to pay for my studies. I had just gotten over the phone with them and they told me that they wouldn't be able to cover the full fees. Usually, they could cover up the full fees, but my profile didn't have the strong financial support that would be able to pay off the loan if I couldn't do so in the future. I didn't know how I could arrange for the rest of the money."Why can't
" I am still going to go!" I announced. Finally, coming out of my room after a week of moping. The past week had been all sorts of emotions. I cried I hoped my heart would finally stop whenever I cried; I thought of the possibilities of taking a year gap, I thought about the possibilities of going with it and the things I had to do in order to survive, I thought about how things would be different if dad was here and I decided to be selfish and stubborn for once."What do you mean?" My mother asked, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion."I am going to the University of Edinburgh in three months." I clarify."But what about the money?" My mother quickly adds. I could feel my anger making an appearance; I pushed it back."I will take whatever loan I can get from the bank. The scholarship would cover a part of it too. For the rest of it, I will find a way." I reply."How will you come up with the remainder. It's a pretty hu
"Keep in touch, alright." My classmates kept adding every time I spoke to one of them. I gave a tight smile, pretending that not having the everyday remainder of them is going to hurt me. Honestly, I would miss only a few of them. I was definitely not going to miss this college. It could go and fuck itself.I was just about to finally leave the college grounds when I heard someone call my name."Celeste." I turned around to see that it was Carter who was calling my name. I suddenly remembered that I hadn't said farewell to him. I had to been avoiding him since the 'juice day' that we had. I didn't want to stop that now, but it was too late now."Hey." He says once he is standing right in front of me."Hey," I reply."So this is it.""Yeah. I guess so. Finally!" I add with a chuckle. He smiles at that."I didn't know that you would pull that." He says, gesturing to my suit. I look down and then
"You packed everything, right?" My mother asked for the 100th time today."Yes, mom. I did. " I replied, rolling my eyes slightly.Today was the day that I was finally leaving. I was excited as well as nervous at the same time."The taxi is here," I say to my mother. She nods her head."Let's go." My sister Sylvia says, swinging one of my bags on her shoulders. I drag my suitcases with me, my mother taking a few with her too.I had thought that maybe I would have to put some of my bags in cargo, but thankfully all of my things could be taken at once itself. The other necessities we could buy it there later.The cab driver helps us hoist the luggage in the boot of the car and the things that don't fit there I place them on my lap in the backseat.I watch as I get farther and farther from home, my nerves were jittery."Don't forget to call me as soon as you reach. And text me when y
"Would you like a club sandwich?" The air-hostess asks us, dragging her food cart."Is it vegetarian?" Phoebe enquires."No. But we do have veg sandwiches. Would you like one mam?" She asks her."Can I have a club sandwich?" I ask her."Me too." Alexandra quips.She hands us our sandwiches before making her way towards the other passengers."A ham sandwich, huh, Alexandra?" Phoebe questions, her eyebrows raised."We are up in the air baby. I am no longer obliged to follow my parent's traditions." She says.I chuckle at that. The thing was Alexandra and Phoebe were both vegetarians since birth. Although Alexandra is quite a rule breaker when it comes to eating habits, Phoebe is a strict vegetarian."If they serve alcohol, I am taking it without hesitation," Alexandra says."Nope. You will do no such thing. You are a sad drunk, and this is a long journey. S