Play it Again

I couldn’t take it anymore. It was smothering in the small room. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, pausing when the board creaked softly. I didn’t hear Mason anywhere in the cabin. He should still be out on his run. It was after midnight, but I should still have an hour or so before he would return. I only needed a few minutes.

I left the bedroom and made my way to the front door, stepping outside into the cold air. Descending the few porch stairs, I took a deep breath. I moved to a ray of moonlight penetrating the canopy. I let it dance on my skin, letting it invigorate me. One of the few things that still gave me feeling anymore.

My peace was interrupted by a low growl. I gasped and turned to see a giant gray wolf with his eyes locked on me. My heart pounded in my chest.

“Kahn…” I lifted my hands and took a step toward the cabin. “Mason… I was only getting some air. I wasn’t going…”

He launched himself at me. I screamed as his teeth found purchase on my upper arm. Pulled off my feet, he began to drag me back into the cabin.

***

Five years.

It had been five years, two months, and eleven days since I had been claimed by the Beta of the Dawn Stalker pack.

I didn’t know why, but it had become a habit for how long I’d been here to be the first thing to go through my mind when I regained consciousness. It’s not like I was counting down to anything. It’s not like I could just leave. I was here for life. I suppose it was a way to remind myself that I had survived this long. I could survive a bit longer.

My mind started to register what I was seeing. My blurred vision beginning to clear. At least from one eye. The other remained dark and I knew it was swollen shut. Flashes of yet another beating I had taken that night started to replay as I worked to get my bearings. My heart was beating fast and I swallowed the bile that threatened to come up. I didn’t know if it was over yet. I suppressed a cry as I pushed against the cold wood floor beneath me. I didn’t know how long I had been out this time, but the still-sticky blood I felt told me it wasn’t that long.

It was a lot of blood.

More than usual.

I could feel the biting sting along my arm and shoulder where his wolf had bitten down and the slashing claw marks down my side. I assessed the rest of the damage I had sustained. It hurt to swallow. My body was bruised and sore. My left hand and wrist were badly broken. I had a lump on my jaw and a gash on my brow, right above the swollen black eye. I was certain I had a concussion by the pounding radiating through my skull.

But it was still a lot of blood.

That’s when I saw the knife and more of the night’s events played back in my mind. I dragged myself across the kitchen floor and saw him. The familiar form of Beta Mason, my so-called mate, lay prone on the cabin floor, another pool of blood beneath him.

We were on our annual retreat. A month out of the year where Mason would take me on a trip to “reconnect,” as he always put it. For any other couple, it would sound romantic. For me, it was a nightmare.

I learned early on that he liked it when I fought back. So, I stopped. He grew bored of me most of the time, but eventually, his boredom would become resentment, then determination. That’s when he would plan our getaways. That’s why they were so long. So he didn’t have to hold back and I’d have time to heal enough to hide his work before having to make any appearances. After all, I was only a human. I healed slowly compared to his kind.

My heart started to pound as I contemplated the scene in front of me. Lycans had many abilities humans didn’t. An ability to heal quickly was one of them. It wasn’t instantaneous, but it was a fraction of the time it took for me. It allowed them to survive wounds that would be fatal to humans.

I swallowed hard, ignoring the sour, metallic taste.

If he still hadn’t gotten up… Maybe I had… I must have… I fought back this time. I fought hard.

My eyes went to the front door. This was my chance. I could get away. Or they would catch me and kill me. Either way, this torture would end. If I stayed, they would kill me anyway for what I’d done. It wouldn’t matter why. He was the Beta.

I pushed myself to my feet. My body didn’t even protest the movement as adrenaline began to course through me. I barely thought about what this could mean. Whether I would ever see my family again. How I would survive on my own. Who would come looking for me. Those were considerations that hardly registered in the face of freedom. With a shaky hand, I turned the knob and pulled the door open.

Without looking back, I stepped outside.

I looked around at the property. It was early morning but getting close to the first light of day. The cabin was tucked away in a forest. I had no idea which forest. I never knew where he took me. But it didn’t matter. As long as I got out of Dawn Stalker territory, I was free.

I went to the car. He always kept the key in the visor. Because who would dare steal from the Beta of the Dawn Stalker Pack? I started the engine and almost cried at the sound. Turning down the gravel drive, I made my way toward freedom. Driving in any direction I thought would lead out of the territory.

But the adrenaline started to wear off and my injuries were taking their toll. I couldn’t really grip the wheel with my broken hand and I was nauseous from the pain. And I was getting dizzy. A light rain began to fall, impairing my vision further. A fog started to form the further I drove, concealing the terrain with a blanket of haze. I gasped and yanked the wheel, swerving as the road curved before me.

Breathing heavily, I pulled off to the shoulder. If I crashed, they’d find me for sure. But the near miss got my adrenaline pumping again, at least. I could see the glow of civilization in the distance. I’d make it on foot if I mustered up the strength. And the rain would hopefully wash away my scent. Taking a few painful deep breaths — adding a broken rib or two to the tally — I dragged myself from the vehicle.

I wasn’t wearing any shoes. My feet and legs were exposed to the cold wet air of late winter. I didn’t care. My ears were filled with the sounds of nature around me. I felt the raindrops land and trail down my skin. It stirred up a multitude of aromas. Everything felt different. Felt new again.

I started walking. Putting one foot in front of the other. Slowly picking up my pace. I wasn’t really seeing where I was going anymore. But I told myself as long as I could feel the asphalt beneath my feet, I would be okay.

I wasn’t free just yet. But more than ever — I wanted to be.