Prologue

Nothing really matters in my life. No one want me even my family, my friends, my companion, all. I feel like I am floating in the air, no direction just a dried leaf who will eventually gone in the wind. Either stepped on by people, or disappear due to its dryness and maybe will turn to dust one day.

With the dancing lights occupied all the surrounding, I am here on bar counter sipping the hard liquor who's taking over my system. I look at the wild lights and the people who's dancing into it. I smiled devilishly when I started walking and let the alcohol took me over.

I dance wildly in the center of the dance floor. Might as well let me fuck tonight. Tutal wala namang nakakaintidi sa akin. Why not waste my life this time, huh?

While dancing sexily...series of painful flashback came to me.

"Samantha! You're disgusting. Wala ka ng ginawa kung hindi pahiyain kami. We adopted you!" Si Mommy na halos hindi ko na makita ang pagmamahal sa mata niya at napalitan na ito ng pandidiri.

"You're not my best friend anymore. Anong ginawa mo? You betrayed me Samantha!" Si Riel, my only friend who accepted me are now angry at me.

But the most painful who crumpled my heart is the way my father look at me. He so disappointed, he didn't even look at me in the eyes.

Mariin akong napapikit ng maramdaman ang magaspang na kamay na humawak sa aking bewang. I let him.  Why would I preserves my self to the man I will marry if my parents were the one who choose him. Might as well give it to fucking stranger than to a man they want for me, for what? For business sake! Fuck you!

Nahihilo na ang mga mata ko, malabo na siya sa paningin ko but I love his smell. His smell so luxurious, his biceps are in good place. He has a clean cut hair cut. Fuck! I feel so fucking turn-on big time. He didn't leave my waist, he hold it firmly as I  dance in front of him. Itinali ko ang aking kamay sa kanyang leeg, I saw how his eyes fixed on my sleepy eyes. Pamilyar siya sa akin pero wala na akong oras isipin kung saan ko nga ba siya nakita.

"Lets get out of here." I whispered. He lick his lips and gently pull me out of that crowd. Lumabas kami ng bar ng hindi ko magawang maihakbang ng maayos ang paa ko dahil sa pagkahilo. He slid me to his car and I lean on its seat. Umiikot ang paligid sa aking paningin. I closed my eyes trying to forget all my problem.

Kahit ngayon lang please, lubayan niyo muna ako. Kahit ngayon lang? I wonder if there's someone out there waiting for me? May tao pa bang para sa akin? I feel like my life here on this world is as fuck! Inaamin ko hindi ako mabuting tao, nakasakit din ako. I have a bad attitude pero hindi naman siguro sukatan ito na masama ka na.

All the people around me saw me as devil bitch, suwail na anak while all my life I am just there for my family trying to please them. Lahat ng gusto nila sinunod ko at konting pagkakamali lang- konting tanggi, ako na naman ang masama.

Napahalakhak ako habang naalala ang mga sinabi ni Mommy sa akin kanina.

"Samantha! You will be engage to Grayson Servantes by the end of this week." Mom said with finality. Nanlaki ang mata ko at mariing pumikit. I hold my hand tighter trying to hold back my mouth for the possible eruption. Hanggang maari ayokong sumagot at kontrahin sila pero hindi naman ata tama itong gusto nilang ipagawa sa akin. Mukha ba akong ibang tao sa kanila na pagkatapos alagaan at palakihin, ipapamigay na lang sa iba?

"Their family is a good asset to our company. If you two will get married and our company combined. Hindi na tayo magiging basta-basta sa mga competitor." Si Mom.

Nanatili akong nakayuko, hindi nagsasalita. I glanced at my father who's standing and looking at the windows. 

Kailan nga ba nagsimula ang panlalamig nila sa akin? Its that day! When they heard that my friendship with Chessy Riel Cristobal  has broken. Parang namantsahan ang pangalan ko sa paningin nilang dalawa lalo  na kay Mommy.

I realized then how grateful they are dahil kaibigan ko ang isang Cristobal who happen to be number 1 in business. Wala akong alam noon dahil tahimik ang buhay ko sa probinsya kasama ang aking Lola. I didn't even know that Riel family was this influential in term of business. 

After that incident, Riel left our province to study in Manila  with her family. Wala na akong naging balita sa kanya. Sa taong 'yun parang binagsakan ako ng langit, all the important people at me choose to left me or leave me...even my grandmother who's only my support in this life.

Pumapasok ako ng school na tahimik na lang at mag-isa. After that accusation that we bullied a suicidal girl that lead her to take her own life, sobrang naging masama na ako sa paningin nila. All our classmates or schoolmates are avoiding me. Kahit sa mga group study walang gustong makilag-group study sa akin dahil sa history ko. Kinatakutan ako ng lahat, natatakot na baka magaya sila sa estudyanteng nagpatiwakal dahil sa pambu-bully ko.

I admit it, I am not a good students. I bully sometimes pero hindi umabot sa punto na kailangan kong makapanakit ng tao para isiping kitlin niya ang sariling buhay. All I do is trash talk pero mabilis akong nako-kontrol ni Riel kaya hindi ko 'rin nasasabi ang mga bagay na 'yun.

Paano nga ba humantong sa ganito ang lahat. I had a famous bully boyfriend in our school that time. His name is Callum, he's an haciendero in our province. Kilang-kilala ang pamilya niya dahil ang Ama niya ang tumatayong gobernador ng lalawigan. But I didn't know that behind his escapade to be my boyfriend is a plan that would drift my friendship to Riel.

Callum bullied our classmate mercilessly.  Kami lagi at pangalan namin ang binabahiran niya sa mga kawalang-hiyang ginagawa niya. We didn't even know even a bit of it! Gulantang na lang kami ng makita at mabasa ang pangalan namin sa Suicide note nito. Idiniin kami na kami ang nambully sa kanya.

Callum plan all of it, he was the one who put my life like some trash in our school. I don't know whats his motive for doing this to us, but I know that he's angry that a Cristobal family are in our school. Malaki ang galit niya sa pamilya nito dahil hindi lang sa dahil ka-kompetensya sa negosyo, alam kong may higit pa siyang dahilan kung bakit nagawa niya ito.

He frame us up. He do this to me, to us.