6

Elena’s pov;

All I could feel was the darkness.

Endless misery.

I wanted to get away but I was stuck.

Stuck in that exact same spot. The same hole which had drowned me.

I wanted to feel.

Sitting on the floor, my back against the wall I thought about several possibilities that if my father was still here with me could we be a happy family? Would my mother love me? Would I be normal like every other kid is?

Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my myself. Inhaling a deep breath, I tried to calm my breathing. My head dropped to my knees and I closed my eyes, listening to silence that enveloped me.

Silence was always so known to me. Silence was something I seeked out for.

Some people hate the idea of being alone but to me alone was something I preferred. My own personal space.

A lump formed within my throat. My hands started to shake. Several tears gathered in the corner of my eyes.

The scene kept replaying again and again.

I was hurt. And no one cared.

Droplets of sweat formed on my forehead. I had to stay calm, but I couldn’t.

Soon I found myself shivering, short breaths emerged out of my mouth. The lump grew bigger.

My gaze started to get blurry and all I could see were black dots as my heartbeat escalated quick.

Getting up quickly from the floor, I succumbed towards the side table where my iPod was placed. Tears ran down my eyes. My shaky hands flew to the table searching for it hastily.

Breathe Elena, Breathe in and out. It will be alright.

Knocking the vase which was beside it, I flinched from the sound. It shattered into pieces but for now it wasn’t my concern. All I could think was I couldn’t breathe. The panic state led me to trip over my own foot and I landed straight on the glass shreds.

I shrieked out loud.

The shreds sticked to my cheek and palm. The blood slowly dripped down.

I was a mess.

Getting up hastily again not caring about the pain, I searched for the only thing which could help me calm down but all I could feel was the emptiness.

Where was the goddamn iPod?

My sweaty hair sticking to my face made me look like I was some crazy fuck.

I felt my breaths coming out short. Counting backwards, I tried to regain my breathing but it was useless.

Black dots appeared and I fell on my feet. My temple once again kissing the floor with a thud. I tried to get up but all the energy had drained out.

Coughing out, I tried to soothed out my dry throat.

The only option was to crawl towards the door.

Lifting myself up only to get dizzy I placed my hands on my head to stop the headache that was forming.

Crawling slowly towards the door, I reached it, only to find it locked by me.

The energy had left me. I couldn’t stand. My body was shaky. Blackness had appeared infront of my eye.

Gripping the door knob I tried to get up but it was useless. Useless just like me.

My breaths came out as pants. It was hard to breathe. My teary and bloody stained face. The open wounds had been erupting pain.

I banged on the door lightly. “A-Anyone?” I choked out. My own voice felt foreign to me.

“O-Open t..t-the door p-please.” I said out loud as I could but all I could hear was the ringing within my ears.

Banging on the door once again, I coughed.

My throats was filled with spikes. All I could feel was the dryness. Dryness that was killing me slowly.

“H..H-Help..” I whispered out.

I knew no one could hear me. It was useless for me to scream for them.

Moving away from the door, I slid on the floor. Only to be met by the darkness that was engulfing me.

I was strong. Strong enough to stay alive. Strong enough to tolerate this panic attack. Strong enough to see the next day. Strong enough to see the smiling faces.

Bringing my knees to my chest, I curled up in a ball.

Whimpers were heard around the room. I cried.

I cried for myself. I cried for my pathetic life. I cried for my mother.

Soon enough the darkness welcomed me in its embrace and slowly I fell into a deep hole.

H..Help me s-someone..

With that thought I finally slipped into the wave of darkness with a small smile rested on my face.