Chapter 5

When Ryan walked away with Sophie clinging to him like she owned him, like she won, something inside me didn’t just break. It collapsed. Parang bumagsak ang buong mundo ko sa isang iglap.

After he disappeared into the crowd, the hallway slowly returned to its usual noise, but none of it sounded real. Everything felt like slow-motion static, like I was floating outside my own body habang yung mga tao sa paligid ko ay nagbubulungan pa rin tungkol sa akin.

“God, ang pathetic niya.”

“Did you see her face? Sobrang desperate.”

I stood there, frozen. Nanghihina. Humihikbi nang hindi ko namamalayan. Para akong lumulubog sa sarili kong katawan, sa sarili kong kahihiyan.

No one helped me. No one approached me. No one even asked if I was okay.

I hugged my arms around myself, trying to keep the pieces of me from falling apart.

Finally, my body moved on its own, tumalikod ako at naglakad. Hindi ko na alam saan. Basta malayo. Malayo sa lahat. Malayo sa kanila. Malayo kay Sophie at Ryan. Malayo sa mga mata, sa mga camera, sa mga ngisi.

Malayo sa sakit.

Umabot ako sa back garden ng campus, yung lugar na madalang puntahan ng tao. Tahimik. Mahangin. Hindi masyadong mainit.

Dito ako naupo sa mismong dulo ng bench at doon na bumuhos ang luha ko. Hindi na pigil. Hindi na kontrolado. Hindi na tahimik.

Ito na yung breakdown na ilang araw ko nang pinipigilan.

My entire body shook as I cried into my hands, shoulders shaking, breath uneven. Parang hinugot lahat ng lakas ko sa isang sigaw na hindi ko maibuga.

“Bakit… bakit ganito?” I whispered between sobs. “Ano bang ginawa ko para pagsabay-sabayin ganito lahat?”

Noong una, si Ryan lang. Then si Sophie. Then the entire campus.

Now the whole school thought I was some crazy, desperate, obsessive ex.

Akala ko tapos na. Pero hindi pa pala.

“Diane?”

I froze.

Kilalang-kilala ko yung boses.

Sevi.

He approached slowly, his footsteps soft. Kahit blurred pa yung paningin ko, naramdaman ko yung presence niya—gentle pero firm, worried pero hindi intrusive.

“Nakita kita tumakbo palayo,” he said quietly. “Tapos may narinig akong rumors… god, Diane.”

He sat down beside me, not too close, but close enough to feel real.

“Anong nangyari?”

I wiped my face with trembling hands. “Lahat… lahat nangyayari sabay-sabay. And everyone hates me, Sev. It’s not even true—”

“I know,” he said quickly. “Kilala kita. Hindi mo kaya ang sinasabi nila.”

“But they believe her,” I cried again. “Even Ryan. Even he—”

My voice cracked completely.

Sevi clenched his jaw. “He didn’t even look like he wanted the truth.”

I shook my head. “He didn’t.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Sophie’s smart. Manipulative smart. She knows how to twist things.”

I looked at him, devastated. “Sev… hindi ko na kaya.”

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

Napatingin siya sakin—deep, concerned, protective.

“Huy…” he said softly. “Don’t say that.”

“I mean it,” I whispered. “Pagod na ako. Sobra.”

He reached out cautiously, as if asking permission, then gently touched my hand.

“I’m here,” he said. “I won’t leave.”

That made me cry harder.

But Sevi didn’t panic. He didn’t act awkward. He didn’t judge. He just let me cry until my breathing slowed down.

And for the first time that week, someone actually stayed.

Pero of course, hindi doon natapos ang lahat.

The next day, pagpasok ko ng campus, mas malala. Mas marami nang nakatingin. Mas maraming nakangisi. Mas maraming nagkukuhanan ng pictures.

At ang pinakamasakit, may mga nagkalat na bagong rumor.

“Uy, sabi nila after kay Ryan, si Sevi naman daw nilalandi niya.”

“Grabe ’di ba? ’Di pa nga tapos yung issue, may next target agad.”

“Ay naku. Hindi na talaga nahiya.”

“Baka yun ang style niya—kawawa naman yung mga lalaki.”

This time, pinag-uusapan na si Sevi. At ako ang sinisisi.

I approached two girls whispering loudly near the elevator.

“Pwede tigilan niyo naman ako?” I asked, voice trembling.

Tumawa sila.

“OMG, guys, look! She’s asking us to stop.”

“Eh ’di ikaw yung gumawa? Wala ka dapat reklamo.”

“Sana pumili ka ng lalandiin na available. Hindi yung may jowa, tapos next week iba na naman.”

I bit my lip so hard it almost bled. “I didn’t seduce anyone.”

“Sure, girl.”

“Tell that to Ryan.”

“And now to Sevi.”

I walked away fast before they could see me cry again.

Hindi ko na kaya.

The rumors spread like wildfire. Kahit isang linggo pa bago summer break, napag-desisyunan kong hindi na pumasok. Ayoko na. Ayoko nang maglakad sa hallway parang ako yung bida sa anti-hero poster.

When summer vacation finally started, hindi ako lumabas ng bahay. Not once. Hindi ako sumagot ng messages. Hindi ako nag-social media. Hindi ako nagpakita kahit kanino, except sa family ko na halatang nag-aalala pero alam nilang hindi ako ready magsalita.

Pero si Sevi—he checked on me. Not every day, but enough. Enough to remind me I wasn’t alone.

“Diane, you don’t have to reply,” his messages said. “Just… want you to eat something today. Okay?”

Another day:

“Let me know if you want to go out for a bit. I’ll drive. Walang tao.”

Another one:

“I’m proud of you. Kahit hindi mo nararamdaman yan ngayon.”

And for the first time in a while, may taong naniwala sa akin.

Tahimik ang summer ko. Mostly healing. Mostly crying. Mostly trying to put myself back together.

Then one day, habang nakatingin ako sa salamin, namumugto yung mata, magulo yung buhok, wearing oversized clothes that used to comfort me, I realized something.

Hindi ako mabubuhay ng ganito. Hindi ako pwedeng habang buhay takot, iyakin, at ginagawang laruan ng ibang tao.

I needed to rebuild myself.

Not for Ryan. Not for Sophie. Not for anyone.

For me.

So I started. Little by little. Baby steps. I cut my hair.

Not drastically—just enough to feel light. Fresh. Free.

I exercised. Not to be skinny. But to feel strong. I ate properly. I rested. I painted again.

Ginawa ko lahat not to impress them, but to revive myself.

At dahan-dahan… bumabalik yung confidence ko.

At dahan-dahan… nag-iba talaga ako.

When I looked in the mirror at the end of summer, I barely recognized myself.

Stronger. Taller. Sharper. Prettier. Braver.

I didn’t plan to be “hot.”

Pero nangyari.

And for the first time, I liked who I saw.

FIRST DAY BACK.

Pagpasok ko sa campus, tahimik yung paligid.

Hindi yung tahimik na creepy, yung tahimik na shock. Students slowed down. Yung iba napahinto. Yung iba napabuka ang bibig. Yung iba kumurap-kurap, trying to confirm what they were seeing.

Naglalakad ako in fitted jeans, a cropped sweater, freshly cut hair framing my face, lips lightly tinted, eyes confident, not timid.

Every step felt like shedding an old skin.

May narinig ako:

“Sino siya?”

“Bagong student?”

“Transfer siguro from another university.”

“Grabe… ang ganda.”

“Sino ’tong bagong girl? Parang model.”

I hid a small smile.

For once, the stares weren’t knives. They were stunned. Impressed. Curious.

At hindi nila alam, ako pa rin ’to.

I walked toward the administrative building where the Student Council was doing the welcome booth for transferees.

May banner pa:

WELCOME, NEW STUDENTS!

—Student Government

At doon ko nakita si Sophie. Naka-blazer. May sash na STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT.

Perfect makeup.

Perfect hair.

She was smiling proudly habang nagaabot ng kits to new enrollees. Halata sa mukha niya ang self-satisfaction.

She saw me approaching—but she didn’t recognize me. Not even a drop of suspicion. She flashed her rehearsed, presidential smile.

“Hi! Welcome to our university,” she said sweetly. “Are you a transferee? We’re so excited to have you!”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Transferee?”

“Yes!” she chirped. “We have a short orientation for new students. What’s your name para ma-check ko sa list?”

I blinked slowly. Then smiled.

“Diane.”

She wrote it down.

“First name please?”

I leaned slightly forward, watching her face closely.

“Diane.”

She paused mid-write. Slowly looked up. Confused.

“…sorry, what?”

“My name,” I repeated calmly. “Diane. Diane… Villamonte.”

Her pen dropped. Her smile vanished. Her eyes widened, slowly, beautifully, deliciously wide, like a crack spreading across her perfect facade.

“You’re… you’re lying,” she whispered.

“No,” I said smoothly. “I’m not.”

Her jaw dropped.

“M-Maybe you’re joking—”

“I’m Diane,” I said again, calmly, confidently, strongly. “The same Diane you bullied. The same Diane you lied about. The same Diane na tinawag mong desperate.”

Students nearby turned their heads. Nakarinig sila. Nagulat sila.

Sophie froze. She stared at me harder, searching for the girl she destroyed.

Looking for the timid eyes, the trembling voice, the big shirts, the hunched shoulders. But none of those existed anymore.

I watched her face crumble slowly.

“Impossible…” she whispered. “You can’t be—”

“I am.”

Then I smiled— not out of pettiness, not out of revenge, but because I finally knew the truth.

I wasn’t the same girl she broke.

“You look… different,” she stammered.

“That’s the point,” I replied.

Behind Sophie, I heard people whispering:

“She’s Diane? The Diane?”

“No way…”

“She’s so pretty oh my god—”

“She changed so much!”

“Ryan is going to flip.”

I straightened my posture and met Sophie’s panicked eyes.

“Nice to see you again, Madam President,” I said with a razor-sharp politeness.

Sophie swallowed. For the first time ever, she looked scared of me. And it felt so damn good.