Chapter Eighteen

Brielle’s POV

I paced back and forth in our room, my heart pounding like a drum. This secret that I was carrying was suffocating me, and I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. The fact that I was still craving his brother was making me go crazy.

Zane needed to know, but how could I possibly tell him?

Taking a deep breath, I called out.

“Zane, we need to talk.”

He got out from the kitchen, a worried look already etched on his face.

“Kitten, what’s wrong? You look pale. Is it the baby?” Then he widened his eyes. “Oh wait, is it me?”

The concern in his voice pierced my heart, making the guilt swell more inside me. He was so caring, so devoted. How could I keep this from him? But I had to.

For now, at least.

“Zane, it’s not just about the pregnancy.” I said, my voice trembling. “There’s more to it.”

He stepped closer, his eyes searching mine.

“Whatever it is, Brielle, we’ll get through it together. Don’t worry. I’m here for you.”

His words, meant to comfort me, only made the guilt more unbearable. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I couldn’t hold them back any longer. They spilled over, running down my cheeks as I tried to find the right words.

“Don’t cry.” Zane said softly, reaching out to wipe away my tears. “You’re not alone in this. In anything that you have to do.”

I shook my head, pulling away from his touch.

“You don’t understand, Zane. It’s more complicated than you think.”

He frowned, confusion and concern deepening in his eyes.

“What do you mean? Just tell me, Brielle. Whatever it is, we can handle it.”

His genuine support and good heart broke something inside me. The walls I’d built around my secret started to crumble, and the weight of it all came crashing down in my head. Now, the secret was laid bare.

“I can’t do this, Zane.” I choked out, my voice breaking. “I can’t keep lying to you. I’m not alright, I’m stressed out!”

He reached for me again, but I stepped back, shaking my head.

“Brielle, you’re scaring me. You need a massage to calm your nerves. It happens with pregnant women a lot.” He said, and I nodded.

The desperation in his voice tore at my heart, but I couldn’t let him in, not yet. Not until I figured out how to deal with this myself. If I could even do that.

“Zane, please, just leave me alone.” I snapped, my emotions boiling over. “I need some space.”

“But you called me here, and now you’re sending me away.” He looked hurt, but he didn’t move. “Brielle, you don’t have to go through this alone. Let me help you.”

His persistence pushed me to the edge.

“I said leave me alone!” I shouted, my voice echoing through the room.

Zane flinched, taking a step back. He looked at me with pain and confusion in his eyes.

“Alright, Brielle. If that’s what you want.”

He turned to leave, and the sight of his retreating back made my heart ache even more. But I had to do this. I had to figure out how to handle this mess before it consumed me.

Just as he reached the door, I called out.

“Zane, wait.”

He paused, turning back to face me.

“Yes?”

I took a deep breath, struggling to keep my voice steady.

"You are the best being a person could wish for. I don't deserve your love,"

"I will give you regardless," He replied before he exited the room.

I nodded, watching as he walked out the door. As soon as it closed behind him, I collapsed onto the couch, burying my face in my hands. The tears came in torrents, and the sobs wracked my body.

I was caught in a web of secrets and lies, and I didn’t know how to break free. I couldn’t keep this up forever, obviously. Sooner or later, the truth would come out, and when it did, I wondered if Zane would still be there for me.

The silence that followed Zane's departure was deafening, but I sat there, feeling like the room was closing in on me, and my mind racing through a thousand thoughts.

I couldn't keep living like this, but the truth was too terrifying to confront. I had always been one to think that telling the truth was a simple task, but not in this case.

I had to find another way out of this mess, a way that wouldn’t involve revealing everything to Zane.

I stood up, my legs shaky beneath me, and walked toward the staircase. Maybe there was a way to escape the burden of this secret, even if just temporarily.

The thought that crossed my mind was dark and extremely desperate, but I felt cornered with no other options left.

If I could just throw myself down the stairs, maybe I’d get hurt enough to delay everything. Maybe it would buy me some time to figure things out. Maybe, I wouldn’t have a baby anymore, and there would be nothing to reveal.

As I approached the stairs, my heart pounded louder, my breath quickening. I looked down the steps, imagining the fall. It seemed like an easy way out, an immediate escape from the weight on my shoulders.

I gripped the banister, my knuckles turning white.

“You can do this.” I whispered to myself, trying to muster the courage. But as I took a step forward, doubts flooded my mind.

What if I really hurt myself? What if it didn't go as planned? What if... I couldn't go through with it?

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment.

This was madness. I couldn’t deliberately hurt myself, especially not with a baby inside me. The thought of my unborn child stopped me cold. What was I thinking? How could I even consider something so reckless? I couldn’t lose my child.

I opened my eyes, and took a step back immediately. But in my haste and panic, my foot slipped. The world tilted, and I lost my balance. My hand reached out, trying to grab the banister, but it was too late. I felt myself falling, the hard edges of the steps coming up to meet me.

I had slipped from the stairs. I hadn’t meant to actually go through with it, but now I was going to fall and hurt us both. I was a terrible mother.

The world around me started to tilt, and the last thought that came out of my mouth was a desperate plea.

“Please, let my baby be okay.”