Death but nearly

“Rush her into the ER now!” I heard someone scream before everything again slipped away…

When I came to again I saw bright white lights rushing past me as the floor beneath me kept moving, I couldn’t focus on anything, everything was rushing into view as a blur and swarms of darkness.

I could hear moments of panicked voices around me, both female and male. I tried to move but my body felt as heavy as led. What the fuck was going on? Where was I? What was going on? I heard the sound of beeping, beeping, beeping… Could someone turn off that annoying sound, it was starting to annoy me tremendously.

I tried to speak up, tell someone to shut that noise off but my voice came out in a slur of words I definitely didn’t recognize. Was I drunk? I couldn’t remember going out with Jeremy for drinks, what could I remember, nothing, there was nothing a throbbing-  Ah! The fucking pain in my head shot through me like a throbbing gunshot, it was searing with every beeping, beeping, beeping… For fuck sakes make it stop I mumbled incoherently, and then I suddenly felt a stinging feeling in my arm, after that, nothing- I’m out.

When I finally opened my eyes again, I try and focus but my head is pounding as the light hits my eyes, closing them quickly I groan,

“Where am I?” I ask in a croaky voice, feeling very confused.  Suddenly I felt a warm hand take mine holding it firmly against even more warmth, a small squeeze makes me realize that I’m in the company of someone I know and trust.

“Mel, it’s me, it’s Jeremy,” Ah yes, I know that voice, that familiar voice, no one else calls me Mel besides Jeremy, I think to myself as I again try and open my eyes but that bloody light is right above my face, fuck!

“Jeremy what happened?” I whispered in a voice that doesn’t even sound like me, I sound like a hundred year old smoker my voice is so far gone and hoarse.

“Shh, it’s alright, I’m here. You’re in the hospital Mel, I found you lying unconscious in your apartment and immediately phoned 911,”

“What the fuck happened Jeremy, I can’t remember…” I started to say but suddenly I heard other voices beside me, “Her heart rate is going up, we’re going to give her something to relax her,” I heard a woman’s voice say from right next to my ear,

“Jeremy, don’t leave me! Jeremy, Je…” But it was too late, I was gone again.

***

It had been a year since the incident that had left me in a coma for six months. I had woken up like a jolt of lightening had shot right through me and I jumped into a seated position in the hospital bed screaming to the top of my lungs, the doctors and nurses didn’t know what to make of it as they had never experienced something like it in all their years.

Jeremy took me back to my apartment  once I was dispatched from the hospital, it felt- strange to be back there after six months. I remember standing in the middle of the hallway leading to the small lounge with my eyebrows furrowed, just staring into nothingness. I was trying to put two and two together but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t explain what had happened as I couldn’t remember anything, but I knew that something had happened here, I could feel it, even now.

I guess that wasn’t even really the strangest part of my whole ordeal, my once brown eye color had completely changed to something I could only describe as like an icy blue color. It made no sense to the doctors and even after extensive tests they couldn’t come up with anything, they had put it down to a chemical reaction in my brain after the trauma I had endured or some shit.

Jeremy gently touched my shoulder  which made me flinch away from him,

“Mel, you can spend the night at my place if you want,” Swallowing hard I tried to keep my wits about me but I wouldn’t lie, it sounded tempting, I didn’t really want to be here anymore.

I slowly made my way over to my bedroom only to find the door shut, I looked down at the handle and furrowed my brows.

Jeremy came to stand beside me as he again gently touched my shoulder, before I had the chance to turn the knob he had already done it and the door flung open as he switched on the light. I glanced inside and tears started welling up in my eyes, everything still seemed exactly as I had left it.

The books on my bed, the towel hanging over the bed post, even my dirty clothes I remember changing out of that afternoon when I had gone for a run was still in the corner of the floor. I slowly made my way over to my computer screen on my desk and froze, something about it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Instinctively and without causable reason I found myself stretching my hand out to it before pushing the button to switch it on. It took a few seconds and all I could do was stand there and stare, finally the screen came on with Windows 10 and before I could help myself I immediately started at the keys, searching for a very important document I had saved on here.

It didn’t matter how hard I tried, which ever avenue I decided to go down, I couldn’t access it at all. It was gone, just gone, my hard work regarding the story I had been working on six months ago was just erased, corroded.

Digits were scrambled and without being an IT wiz kid I knew instinctively that someone had tampered with my device, swallowing hard I took a step back as I came to take a seat on my bed. Jeremy came to sit beside me as he looked at me with deep concern in his eyes.

“Mel,  what happened to you?” A tear drop rolled down my cheek and I had to grind my teeth to the point of breaking  them in order not to break them, dentists weren’t cheap and my medical was well extended and overdue thanks to my six month hospital stay. Sighing I merely shook my head as even I was trying to figure it out,

“I wish I could tell you what happened, I wish I could remember,” I whispered. Frowning hard Jeremy looked down at my hands in my lap and gently placed his over mine,

“The medical report claimed that you tried to kill yourself,” Gasping I felt a stabbing pain in my chest as he said this. Yes, I remembered the phycologist coming to pay me a visit in hospital but I knew that I was not suicidal.  Many things, I thought again, but not that.

“I didn’t try and kill myself Jeremy,”  smirking he just shook his head,

“I never thought you did,” I turned to look at him and he had this goofy grin on his face that I remembered from when we were kids,

“I wish I could remember what happened. It’s like it’s there, I can sense it, but I can’t remember it,” I said feeling frustrated with myself.

“Well, there was no trace of a break in Mel, you were found face down on the carpet in the lounge. They found a plastic bag over your head.  Mel, the medical professional said that if you hadn’t have passed out when you did, the bag would still have been wrapped around your neck. Mel, you could have suffocated to death,” Frowning I felt a build-up of anger inside of me,

“I didn’t try and kill myself Jeremy, I wouldn’t do that. Something else happened to me, except I can’t remember and it’s driving me nuts,” nodding Jeremy looked down at his own hands as he started fiddling with them.

“Well Lucy moved out three months ago,” He said nodding , “Her and Larry decided to move in together, you can’t stay here by yourself so…” Turning to look at him I frowned,

“So what?” I felt more annoyed than I should have, he was just trying to look out for me.

“Well, I think that maybe I should come and stay with you,” Shaking my head I smirked,

“Jeremy, I thank you for your concern, but I am pretty sure that I can handle being alone,”  Scoffing he just shook his head,

“So you could stay here all by yourself, with everything that happened. You could do that?” I gasped as I thought it over,

“No, not here. But maybe somewhere else, somewhere away from whatever happened here,” I said nodding. Jeremy frowned as he stared at me with a blank expression on his face,

“So you could just leave?” Nodding I smirked,

“I know you don’t understand what’s going on with me right now, but nor do I. All I know is that something happened to me in this apartment and I have this gnawing feeling it had to do with the story we were working on six months ago,”

“You mean the one Lucy did?” Clenching my jaw I just nodded,

“Yes, the one that Lucy took credit for, even though she didn’t deserve it,” Nodding Jeremy just sighed,

“So if not here, then where?” Thinking it over I finally nodded,

“Michigan,” I finally answered, “I want to find a cabin, way up in the woods of Michigan,” Feeling confused Jeremy’s mouth just gaped as he stared at me unbelieving of my words. I was talking about running away, leaving my job and running away. But right now that’s exactly what I wanted to do, I needed to get away from here and quickly.

“Michigan?” He asked still feeling somewhat bewildered by what I had just said. Nodding I smirked,

“I know what you’re going to say,” I began but he cut me off,

“Yes, I’m going to say that Michigan is five hours away, I’m going to say that your life is here, your job which you know somehow you still have all things considering. Mel, running away isn’t going to change what happened. That’s not you, you never run away from a story and if something happened to you which is unexplainable then you should be going after it not running away from it,” Feeling anger and confusion mixed with the tears that suddenly sprung from my face I pushed away from him as I stood with my hands fisted by my side,

“How can you even say that, you don’t even know what happened. You don’t get to tell me what I would or wouldn’t do, because you don’t know Jeremy!” I noticed a sudden burst of anger pulsing from him now as well.

“Well I know that when I found you unconscious on the floor of this apartment that I had never been so scared in all my life, I know that when the paramedics got here they questioned whether or not this was an attempted suicide!”

“Suicide!” I spat the words like they were some foreign displeasing taste in my mouth, “Is that what you think, that I tried to kill myself?”

“I didn’t say that, and yes, well you know what maybe, just maybe there was a part of me that might have had concerns about that being the case especially since earlier that day you were so distraught over Lucy taking you’re story from you, saying that you didn’t see the point in carrying on like this and that you just wanted this all to end,”

“I was talking about Lucy, I meant that I didn’t see the point in carrying on living in the same apartment as her, working at the same firm as her. I was talking about separating myself from Lucy not taking my own goddam life, are you insane, I would never kill myself,” I cried out to him feeling my body begin to shake as tears kept streaming down my face.

Jeremy instantly pulled me to his chest as he held me tight, allowing me to cry and let go of the built up feeling of confusion I had been trying to hide since I woke up a week ago. Shushing me as he held me tight I felt myself calming into him, “I’m scared of what happened here Jeremy, I can’t explain it and what’s worse is that I can’t remember anything,”

“I know Mel, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry, I’m just worried about you,” nodding I just pushed my face further into his chest, his warmth right now was what I needed, it was helping me to calm myself.

Pulling himself away from me ever so slightly he tilted my chin up so he could look into my eyes, they were all puffy from crying but this only drew him in to me even more. Leaning down he gently placed his lips against mine, they were so warm and comforting in my time of need.

Parting my lips I allowed him to slip his tongue into my mouth as he started sliding it against mine, I knew this was wrong, it was like using my best friend just for the sake of needing comfort. I should have pulled away from him but I just couldn’t, why was that? So with the only self-restraint I could muster up, I gently pulled my lips away from his as I looked up into his eyes,

“We shouldn’t,” But instead he merely pushed his lips against mine once more as he held them there, breathing me in,

“It’s alright Mel, we’re just friends. Nothing more and nothing less,” Nodding I allowed his lips to find mine as I began aggressively kissing him back.

I had this burning need within myself to give over and let him take me, taking two steps back as he pushed forward with both of us onto the bed he came and rested just above me supporting himself on his one elbow as his other hand cupped my cheek.

Kissing me with determination and a strength I hadn’t ever felt from him before I wrapped my arms around his neck as I pulled him into me even more, wrapping my legs around his waist I quickly realized that little Jeremy was awake now to. Oh wow, okay this was happening, this was allot different to the last time we nearly…

He pulled at my hair as he exposed my neck to him only forcing me to push my pelvis up against his strength even more, a deep groan escaped his lips as I gasped feeling incredibly excited and needy.

I guess the fact that he wasn’t wanting anything more than I was able to give made it easier for me to just let go, there was no expectations like when we were dating once before and I guess with everything that had happened to me I needed to just let go.

Jeremy started pulling at my shirt with such fervent determination, an almost animalistic nature taking him over of which I had never known him to possess, wow Jeremy Winters, you’ve been holding back on me.

If I had known you could be this way maybe we would have done this allot sooner, I thought to myself as I allowed him to lift my shirt over my head which he was now using to blind fold me with.

This was feeling pretty exciting I thought as a grin escaped the corners of my mouth, Jeremy pulling feverishly at my pants to get them off. I was now lying exposed in only my panties and my bra, his hands pushing both my wrists down harder against the soft bedding and him pepper kissing all the way down my neck nipping and biting gently as he went lower and lower, all the while I had my eyes vailed with my shirt, unable to see a thing.

My breathing was speeding up with excitement and anticipation for what was to come, Jeremy started tightening his grip around my wrists so much that it actually started to feel uncomfortable now, his movements were getting rougher as he pulled at my hips and sucking really hard and the nape of my neck.

Ouch! I thought as my brows furrowed, this wasn’t feeling like it did just a moment ago, the excitement was turning into something else, a spark of fear and concern was taking its place and I felt confused as to why that was. When the grip around my wrists started really cutting off the circulation to my hands I started wriggling under his grasp, trying my best to get free,

“Jeremy, um- this is getting a bit uncomfortable now,” I said as I tried to get him to realize that I wasn’t really enjoying this so much anymore, but he didn’t respond.

“Jeremy, okay I think let’s stop,” I said with more authority and determination for him to stop what he was doing, his movements were now hurting me and it didn’t feel like him at all. My neck was on fire where he kept sucking and he was almost clawing against my skin now, red lights were going off in my head telling me that something was wrong,

“Jeremy stop!” I shouted, but instead his mouth came closer to my ear as he spoke in an icy cold and calculated voice which instantly made my heart stop in panic,

“You shouldn’t be alive,” He breathed which made me gasp as I then instantly used the inside of my arm to push my shirt up and away from my eyes. They were met with a face, one I now recognized but that wasn’t Jeremy’s.

My eyes widened as horror and shock overcame me, my body so tense as I felt every nerve ending shoot panic signals to the rest of my consciousness. He grinned back at me and it was as if everything came flooding back to me, it was him, he was the one who had nearly taken my life that night. He had left me for dead after nearly draining the life from me, he was one of the creations.