Chapter four - I hate you

Cara's POV

I felt my throat burning as I muttered those words, knowing for sure there is no way back now.

I have to give up.

I have to oblige to his orders.

He won.

My dad won.

He is going to take from me the only good thing in my life. I have to go and leave the few people I care about behind.

"You took the right choice." The man whispered beside my ear before releasing me. I directly sank into my knees unable to hold myself.

"Leave him." He ordered the other men. They let go of Alex and walked away with him.

I struggled to my feet and directly ran toward Alex, my heart no longer under my control. I dropped beside him on the ground as he struggled to sit down.

He winced, his hand went to his stomach, a low groan emitted from the back of his throat.

I gasped as I took a look at his shirt, where blood is covering it all. A pile rose in my throat and more tears left my eyes.

He looked at me, his face bloodied and all making my heart constrict harder in my chest.

If I said yes from the beginning, he would've not got hurt.

It's me. It's my fault.

"Are-- you okay ?" He asked, barely even able to let the words out.

I nodded, my tears couldn't stop, he is asking about me when he is the one who got hurt.

He grimaced, his face twisted in pain, I directly looked around, "Where is my phone?" I said as I hysterically started searching for it. I should call 911 immediately.

My mind blocked out and I couldn't make sense of anything. I took a breath and found my phone laying on the ground few meters away.

I directly rushed toward it and dialed them. Telling them the address, I dropped beside Alex again.

I cupped his cheek, my heart aching more with every second ticking by.

"I am sorry." I said, my shoulders shook as I couldn't contain my sobs.

His eyebrows pulled together, he swallowed before talking, "F-for what?" He asked, oblivious that he is now hurt like this because of me.

"For everything." I said, my voice came so low.

He coughed and directly groaned after, oh my god, he is in so much pain.

My gaze traveled to where they stabbed him with the knife. Oh god, there is so much blood.

"You're losing a lot of blood." I said with a panicked tone. I directly inched closer and with my heart beating fast, I pressed my palms over the wound. I should apply pressure to stop the bleeding.

I ignored how my lungs contracted painfully as i heard him groan in pain, i kept my trembling hands over the wound.

I tried to stop my tears, but I couldn't.

How could I when I felt every ounce of pain he is feeling as if that knife penetrated my skin not his.

How could I when my life is literally falling apart and there is nothing, I can do to build it again.

The ambulance didn't take long and immediately came and to that I was grateful, I was afraid he may lose more blood. They took Alex, and we directly went to the hospital.

They entered him to the operation theatre, and I stayed outside waiting.

I convinced myself that he is okay.

That he is safe.

Now he is.

He won't come after him. Not after i gave him the answer he wants.

The ringing of my phone snapped me from my thoughts, i wiped the tears from over my cheek and answered.

"Where are you young woman ? I am waiting for you since like ages." Katherine said with an annoyed tone.

We were about to meet up for some baby-shopping earlier today.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to talk, but I couldn't, my voice failed me, the moment i opened my mouth to say something, the tears started falling again and I couldn't contain the low sob that escaped my lips.

"Cara !" Katherine said in alarm, "What's wrong ?"

I couldn't talk. I don't know what's wrong with me.

"Are you okay?" She asked again, i can sense that she is getting worried.

I sniffled and tried to get a grip over myself. I was never like this, i hate being like this.

"I am." I said, "But- he is not."

"Wha- who ?" Katherine asked bewildered.

"Alex." I said , my voice so low. It is good i am actually able to talk.

"What happened ? Where are you ?" She directly asked. I told her in which hospital we are, she directly said she is coming and hanged up.

I took in a deep breath and laid my head back on the bench.

What's going to happen now ?

Am I going to leave?

Where and why?

What will happen to Alex? What will happen to our child ?

At the thought, my hand involuntary went toward my baby bump. Will i be able to leave him or her ?

I can't. I sure can't.

I got attached to this baby even though I haven't seen him yet. Walking away from him is entirely impossible.

But that means one thing, i will be taking him or her away from Alex.

Taking my baby away from his father.

That doesn't make me any better than him- than my own father.

I shook these thoughts away when i saw the doctor coming out of the operation room.

I directly stood up and walked toward him.

"He is fine." He directly said assuring me, his words removed the large weight from over my chest.

"He is lucky, the knife didn't reach any important organs, and it is good he came here before losing more blood.

Now that we're sure there is no internal bleeding, he should just stay 24 hours under supervision to make sure there is no infection or whatsoever."

I nodded, his words got me more relieved.

"Can I see him ?" I asked, he nodded, "Once they transfer him to a private room you'll be allowed to see him."

I nodded and thanked him, with that he walked away.

After few minutes, the nurse came and informed me which room Alex is staying in. Without wasting a second, I directly went to him.

I opened the door and entered, Alex's head directly snapped toward me, when our eyes met, his lips gave me the most beautiful smile.

I directly walked toward him, feeling my tears threatening to fall.

"Hey." I said with a small smile, trying to not let my voice shake, "How are you feeling ?"

"Better." He said, "I love these hospital gowns." He said looking at himself, "They're so comfortable."

He looked back at me, "Believe me Alex junior down there have never been more comfortable."

I couldn't help my low chuckle due to his words. That's what i love the most about him, he can make me laugh even when my own tears are threatening to fall, even when my inside is about to explode, he knows how to calm it down.

I sat beside him on the bed's edge. My hand acted on its own and went toward the small bandage on his cheek, my heart ached as i traced my hand lightly over it.

They've hurt him really bad.

Why my father is such a monster ?

Probably that's why my mother asked him to leave, probably she realized how dangerous he is. She probably saw this monstrous side of him.

I didn't know my tears actually started falling until i felt Alex's thumb wiping them away.

His eyebrows pulled together, "Shush." He said. I directly inched closer and hugged him tight.

"Cupcakes, don't cry." He said as he ran his hand in my hair, "I am fine, everything is okay."

No, it is not.

I am crying because I know what's to come later. I know i have to leave.

That I may never see you again.

And it's killing me.

I tried to get a grip over my emotions and stop my tears, a knock on the door made me pull away from him.

The door opened and i saw Katherine peeking inside, once she saw us, she immediately entered, Ashton followed behind.

"What happened ?" She said with wide eyes as she looked at Alex then back at me.

"Alex, are you okay ?" She added as she inched closer toward the bed. I directly stood up so I can give them space to talk with him.

"Yup I am fine." Alex said with a smile, "But you know what would make me feel better-" He added, his smile changing into a smirk, "-If you would give me a kiss right here." He said pursing his lips.

I directly shook my head while Katherine shot him a glare. He is always like this, flirting with her, thanks god it is just Katherine, god knows what would've happened if it is some other girl.

Yeah, some tits would've been cut.Huh.

And one tiny dîck too. Huh.

Well if you think about it, it is not that tiny.

Sigh. Yeah, not tiny.

What the hell am I even thinking about ?

Back to reality Cara. Back to reality.

"He is definitely fine." Ashton said with a sigh while Alex just wiggled his eyebrows as he interwind his hands and placed them behind his head.

"You're just jealous that i can easily seduce your wife." Alex said with a shrug.

Ashton mumbled something under his breath while Katherine crossed her arms over her chest, "Seriously now !"

"Well, i think someone really doesn't want me to get pregnant." Alex said ever so-seriously. "First i got shot here then i get stabbed, like seriously what did i do wrong to you people. I can't carry babies now." He said while fake-frowning.

Katherine let out a frustrated sigh while I just shot him a glare. Can he take anything seriously for once ?!

"Did they hit your head or something over there?" Katherine asked raising an eyebrow.

Alex narrowed his eyes , "Ha ha funny."

"You should've seen how I kicked their asses." He said with a confident tone.

"Yeah that's why you ended up in the hospital and they didn't." Katherine said mockingly, Alex frowned at her words and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Really now , what happened ?" Katherine asked again.

"I seriously don't know." Alex said, his tone taking a serious shade, "I got inside the house to get Cara's phone and when i got out, there were all these men, one of them holding Cara back, I directly ran toward her but all the others came into me and well- here i am."

I directly curled my hand into a fist to stop myself from saying anything.

"Who the f*ck are these people ?" Ashton asked, I can say he is getting angry.

Alex shrugged, "I don't know, never saw them before."

"It is obvious that they just wanted to hurt you but why ?" Katherine said with a worried tone. Her eyebrows pulled together as she looked between us.

Ashton's eyes flicked toward me, "Did you know any of them ?" He asked, at his words my body stiffened. I swallowed hard and shook my head , "Uh- no."

I can't tell them. That would put them in danger. I can't risk it.

Them discussing this issue was too much for me to handle, I was afraid I may slip and tell them something, so I directly excused myself to the washroom and went out of the room.

I stepped outside and tried to catch a breath. I ran my hand in my hair and lifted my head up and started walking away.

I stopped dead in my track when I saw him there- standing just few meters away from me.

His eyes met mine and all the pain inside me suddenly was converted into anger.

I gritted my teeth and walked closer to him, "What are you doing here ?" I snapped, my anger taking the best of me.

He ignored my loud and bitter tone, "How is he ?" He asked.

My eyes widened, "How dare you ask ?"

"He is in here because of you !" I said, my voice getting louder. The few people passing us gave me some weird looks.

Well, excuse me, but I can't find it in me to respect him.

"I told you, I didn't want to do this, but you obliged me." He said, his tone so calm. How can he always be so damn calm?

"If you accepted leaving from the beginning, none of this would've happened." He added, his words adding more fuel to my anger.

"Why you want me to leave anyway ?" I asked, "What do you want from me ?"

"Not now, we'll talk about everything in the right time." He simply said.

My suspicion and confusion grew more.

Why he wants me to leave with him ? And To where ?

I know nothing and that scares the hell out of me.

"How long ?" I asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"How long I would be away ? A year, two, three or I don't know maybe -twenty years ?" I asked bitterly.

At my question, he just smiled, he frigging smiled.

God, please give me some patience.

He shook his head, "You're leaving for good." He said, "You won't be able to come back after."

My heart skipped a beat, or maybe two, I don't know. I just felt a weird ache in my chest.

"What?" My voice came as a low whisper. I won't come back.

What's that supposed to mean ?

"I said we'll talk about these things later." He said, "I came to let you know we're leaving tomorrow."

I felt the tears in my eyes again, i shook my head.

"Cara !" He warned and i just shook my head again.

"You said yes, don't change your mind now !" He added, anger flashed in his eyes.

"I didn't change my mind." I said, my voice low, "I will leave on one condition."

He nodded ushering me to continue.

"Give me a week."

He gave me a questioning look in return.

"Just one week, and I’ll leave after." I clarified more as a single tear escaped past my eye.

I need few more days, to stay with them. Few more days before i have to say goodbye.

He didn't argue and nodded his head, "Okay, just one week."

"But-" he said, "-Don't try to be smart and work behind my back."

With a blank face, I said, "Don't worry, I won't."

To be honest, I am so scared to even think of other options.

"What will happen to my child ?" I suddenly asked. At my question his eyes traveled to my baby bump then he directly looked up, something flashed in his eyes, but I wasn't able to catch it.

"What do you mean ?" He asked.

"Will he be in danger ?" I asked what's on mind. I am ready for everything as long no one i love gets hurt, not Alex and not my baby.

He kept silent, he didn't answer making my stomach make weird flips, my anxiousness grew more when his jaw tightened and then looked away.

"You can leave -him with his father." He said not even answering my question.

But I got my answer, nevertheless.

"But I am leaving in a week, and I am still just six months pregnant." I said, the shakiness detectable in my voice.

"When you give birth, we can bring the child back to him." He said, having his answer ready as always.

I didn't know what to think about now. How to act or what i am supposed to do. So I wiped the tears away and tried not to let my voice shake this time as i talked.

"Leave now before anyone sees you." I said with a blank tone.

He nodded and he was about to walk away, but my last words stopped him, "I just want you to know one thing-" I started, he stopped and turned to face me again.

"- You're destroying my life and I will never forgive you for this."

It took every power in me to sound confident as I talked, to keep the blank face and the cold tone.

"I never hated you for leaving, but I sure hate you now for coming back.

I really hate you dad ."

Hurt flashed in his eyes and he looked away, his jaw ticked but he said nothing.

Of course, he has nothing to say.

So, he just turned around and walked away. The only thing he is good at, walking away.

The way he deals with everything, is just like this- by turning his back and running away from it.

My inside broke a bit more, but I actually meant every word I said.

I do hate him.

For making me like him.

I took a deep breath and decided to go back to them, I shouldn't waste any second, I don't have much time.

I turned around ready to walk but directly stopped dead in my track.

A low gasp escaped my lips, my eyes widened a bit and my inside shook with fear.

Fear that what happened between me and my father was witnessed by someone else.

Her eyes told me that she heard something. She gave me that look.

You know, that look.

Oh my god, please tell me she didn't hear anything. She can't know.

My hands trembled at my side, i curled them into a fist as I lowly said, "Katherine."

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