Chapter 8

A rare, quiet moment found Emma. She curled up on the couch, her camera in her hands. She ran through the memory card's collection of photos. Seth's birthday had been a week ago and this was the first moment she had to look at the pictures she had taken during the party. She couldn't believe her baby was getting so big. It seemed like just last week he was crawling across the living room like the devil was on his heels.

The pictures were filled with smiling faces. Her parents. Steve's parents. Neighbors, friends, and children everywhere. She smiled at a picture of Justin shoving a piece of cake into his grandmother's mouth. Another of Seth trying to break the Hulk pi?ata he had insisted they buy for his celebration. One of Jen trying to hide the glass of wine she had snuck from the kitchen. And one of Steve, sitting on the back porch with a cellphone stuck to his head.

She was going to have that thing surgically removed one of these days.

It had been weeks since the night he came home from his leadership conference. He had apologized the following morning, but his words were hollow compared to the hurt that still ached in Emma's chest.

The good news was, they were no longer fighting.

The bad news was, they were no longer talking.

Emma put down the camera and walked through the great room into the kitchen. The opening into her new studio and dark room was just a rough outline right now, a hole with plastic sheeting hanging over it. She brushed through it into the enclosed bones that would, in a few weeks, be her sanctuary. As she moved around the room, running her fingers over wooden posts and dust covered sheets of dry wall, she wondered what the point was. She had thought she would be excited by this, that some kind of satisfaction would make the inconvenience of living in a construction zone palatable.

It didn't.

She was losing interest in the things that had always mattered to her. And she didn't know what to do about it.

"Mrs. Hamilton?"

Emma turned, her heart skipping a beat. She hadn't known anyone was still there.

"Just wanted to let you know we were leaving." McWhorter was leaning against the doorjamb, watching her move around the room. "What do you think of our progress so far? It's going pretty fast."

Emma nodded. "Your guys are doing a great job."

He inclined his head slightly. "We aim to please."

"Mom!"

"My kids," Emma said as she stepped past McWhorter and walked through the plastic sheeting. "In here!" she called.

Seth and Justin ran into the room, Jen not far behind them. "Look what Aunt Jen bought me," Seth hollered as he held up a video game still encased in plastic wrap.

"Wasn't that generous of her," Emma said, shooting a dark look in Jen's direction.

Jen shrugged. "What kind of aunt would I be if I didn't spoil them?" She gestured to Justin. "Show your mom."

Justin couldn't stop the pleased smile that flooded his face as he held up a brand new iPad.

Emma bit her tongue, determined not to justify the fear she saw in her son's eyes. "Did you thank her?" she asked.

Both boys nodded.

"Run upstairs and get cleaned up. Grandma will be here soon to pick you up."

They ran out of the room together, nearly colliding as they squeezed through the narrow doorway. Jen watched, laughing at their enthusiasm.

McWhorter cleared his throat. Emma and Jen both turned as one to look at him. "I'll be going now," he said with a tip of his head at Jen. "Mrs. Paulson," he said. "Mrs. Hamilton." And then he stepped into the laundry room and disappeared on his way to the garage and the outer door.

Emma turned back to her friend, McWhorter already forgotten.

"Jen"

"I know." She raised her hands in a sign of surrender. "I shouldn't have. But Justin told me how badly he wanted one and how you promised to get him one for his next birthday. I just figured we could look at it as an early gift."

Emma shook her head. "We set limits for them for a reason."

"Yeah, well, I guess that would be something I would know if I had kids."

Jen pushed away from the counter and went to the fridge for a water bottle. Emma watched her, properly chastised. Jen had learned a year ago that she could not have children because of an infection she had never known she had in her fallopian tubes. She and Ray were devastated because they had been trying to get pregnant for several years before finally seeking medical advice.

"I'm sorry, Jen. I never meant"

Jen shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

She came back to the counter and leaned against it beside Emma. "Have you thought about the spa?" she asked.

Emma had almost forgotten about Jen's sex spa. She leaned back and ran her fingers through her hair, thinking about Steve's rebuff of her advances. There was nothing else she had been thinking about over the past few weeks.

"I can't, Jen."

Jen groaned. "Do you really think that other women, women you know and think have the perfect marriage, don't do stuff like this?"

"I'm sure they do, but it's not something I would be comfortable doing."

"Are you telling me you've never thought about what it would be like to be with a man other than Steve?" Her eyebrows rose into her hairline, giving her face a rounded appearance. "Or that he hasn't thought about being with other women?"

"Thinking about it and doing it are two different things."

Jen put down her water bottle with a thump. "What about variety? Have you ever wanted to do something Steve won't?"

"Like what?"

Jen smiled a dirty smile. "Like bondage. Like using sex toys. Like whips and paddles and feathers"

Emma moved away, shaking her head as she went. "I can't talk about this with you."

"Why not?"

"Because-" Emma couldn't think of a proper argument, but knew she couldn't do this.

"Some of the guys there will let you tie them up. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a man completely under your control?"

"Jen"

"And they'll tie you up. Have you ever wanted to be completely under a man's control? A tall, gorgeous, sexy man's control?"

Emma blushed.

She had actually asked Steve to tie her up once. He had outright refused and left the room. Not completely unlike his rebuff of her just a few weeks before.

"It's exciting," Jen said.

"Which?"

"Both."

Jen laughed as Emma headed for the door. "We have to go," she said over her shoulder. Jen followed, still laughing much too hardily.