Mag-log inBlurb My father paid a hockey god to be my babysitter. Now he's the one I need saving from. Rule #1: Don't fall for the man your father is paying to watch you. I never was good with rules. When Coach Hartwell hired his star player, Ray Collins, to be my secret shadow, he thought he was protecting his "naive" daughter from the party scene. He didn't know Ray would become my obsession. Ray is arrogant, possessive, and everything I swore to hate. But when my picture-perfect world shatters, he's the only one who shows up. His hands are meant to report my every move. Instead, they trace secrets on my skin. This was a business transaction. Cash for protection. But you can't put a price on the way he looks at me or the way my heart races knowing every touch is a lie we're both choosing to believe.
view moreRay's Pov
I should have said no.
The second Professor Hartwell asked me to babysit his daughter, I should have walked out. But I didn’t. I just sat there, in the worn leather chair across from his desk, trying to figure out what game we were playing.
I’d been in his office plenty of times. Usually, it was because I’d missed a morning skate or my grade in his Econ class was slipping. This was different. The door was shut, the noise from the hockey arena was just a distant hum, and he was looking at me like I was a play he was drawing up.
“She does not know I am asking you,” he said. His voice was low. He slid a photograph across the polished wood.
It felt slimy. Like a secret handshake or a backroom deal. Not a favor from a coach to his team captain.
I looked down.
The girl in the picture was laughing. Her head was tilted back, her dark hair swinging. She wasn’t just pretty. She was the kind of pretty that made you stare. My eyes stuck on the curve of her smile, then drifted down to her hip before I jerked them back up.
Sexy. The word popped into my head before I could stop it.
No wonder she needed a babysitter.
“Sir,” I said, clearing my throat. It felt tight. “I don’t think I get it. What are you asking me to do?”
“You’re the captain, Ray Collins. You know what happens after games. The parties. The guys.”
He said the word guys like it was something dirty. “My daughter has decided to join the team as a photographer this semester. I need someone to make sure she does not get… distracted.”
“She’s an adult,” I said carefully. What I wanted to say was, This is crazy. But I bit the words back. I needed this man. I needed the letter he could write for me.
“She is nineteen,” he corrected, leaning back. His chair creaked. “She has spent her entire life in classrooms and libraries. She does not understand the world. She does not understand what boys that age want from her.”
And there it was. The real ask.
“You want me to babysit her.”
“I want you to watch out for her. Treat her like you would a sister. If you saw your sister at a party with a bunch of young men who only want one thing, what would you do?”
I didn’t have a sister. “I’d probably tell her to have fun and make good choices,” I said. It came out with a little bit of an edge.
The air in the office got colder. He didn’t like my tone.
“I will make it worth your time.” He leaned forward again, elbows on the desk. “Five hundred dollars. Every week. Cash. And that recommendation letter for graduate school you asked me about? Consider it done.”
Fuck.
The word was a hammer in my chest. I needed that letter. I needed it like I needed air. It was my ticket out. My scholarship got me here, but his letter would get me out of here. Out of my past.
All I had to do was spy on his daughter.
He watched me. His eyes were sharp. “I trust you, Ray Collins. And I expect you to keep yourself in check.”
A short, laugh escaped me. “Coach, I don’t chase after little girls.”
“I am hoping to keep it that way,” he said, his voice flat.
He took my silence as a yes. “She starts Monday. First team meeting of the season.”
He slid a thick, white envelope across the desk. It wasn’t sealed. I could see the green edges of bills inside.
My hand moved before my brain could stop it. I picked it up. It was heavy.
He gave a single, firm nod and flicked his hand toward the door. “This stays between us. Now get out. I’ve got game plans to work on.”
“Yes, sir.”
I stood up, the envelope feeling like a brick in my hand. I opened the door and stepped back into the bright, noisy hallway of the athletics building.
My teammates were already there, leaning against the wall. Liam and Derek, two of our defensemen, straightened up when they saw me.
“What did the old man want?” Liam asked, a grin spreading across his face. “You in trouble again, Captain?”
I shoved the envelope deep into my jacket pocket. I forced my own grin, the easy, cocky one I wore like my jersey. “Nah. Just stroking my ego. Telling me I’m the best player he’s ever had. You know, the usual.”
Liam snorted and shoved my shoulder. “Yeah, right. Your head’s gonna get so big your helmet won’t fit.”
Derek launched into a story about a pro scout he’d heard was coming to our next game. The conversation swerved away from me, just like I’d planned.
I walked with them toward the locker room, laughing at the right times, all I could feel was the weight in my pocket. It wasn’t just money.
It was a key. A key to my future, handed to me by a man who had just asked me to lie.
And the girl in the photograph, the one with the laughing eyes and the swinging hair… she had no idea her life was now a part of my deal.
I had sold my peace for five hundred dollars and a piece of paper. And Monday, I would start my new job
POV: RileyThe code still worked, and my fingers still knew it without me.It was the last day of the year. Five in the morning, and the sky over the campus was the color of old pewter. I stood at the side entrance of the rink with my skate bag on my shoulder and my breath rising in small clouds. The air tasted of cold stone and wet earth. A year ago I had come to this exact door at two in the morning with nowhere else to go, my hands numb, my chest full of a name I could not say aloud.I punched in the numbers. The lock clicked. The door swung open on the dim blue light.The emergency lamps glowed low along the boards, blue and gray, the same as before. The ice lay quiet and resting, a wide pale field with no one on it. The cooling system hummed under my feet, one long, steady note.I laced up on the bench. The leather creaked. My fingers moved without hurry.Then I stepped out.I skated without music. I skated without a plan. No program to run, no coach at the boards, no one to impr
POV: RileyI typed the word yes at midnight, and then I sat very still, waiting for my body to argue.It did not. My desk lamp made a small gold circle on the wood. Rain ticked against the window, soft and patient. Down the hall, a faucet dripped. The email to Dana Okafor sat on the screen with one short line in it, and my finger rested on the key.I thought of Preethi.We had been sitting on a bench outside the science building, months ago, with cold coffee going bitter in our hands. Her funding had just been restored. She had looked at the sky for a long time, and then she had said it, quietly, without any bitterness at all."Do you think it will actually matter?"I had not known what to answer. I had said I hoped so. It was the truth, and it was thin.Now I knew only one way to find out. Not from the outside, reading articles. Not from a hallway, waiting for someone else to open a door. From the inside, in the room, with my own voice.I pressed the key. The message flew away with a
POV: RileyThe form had one box left blank, and my pen hovered over it for a full minute.Major. A single word, and a whole life folded inside it.It was a bright Tuesday in April. The registrar's office smelled of toner and warm carpet, and a ceiling fan turned slowly overhead, stirring the corners of the papers on the counter. Through the window the quad had gone green. Students lay on the grass with their shoes off. Somewhere a guitar was being played badly and with great joy. A year ago I would have chosen the safe word, the one my father had circled in red on every plan he ever drew for me.I wrote it in small, clear letters.Communications. Concentration, documentary photography.My hand did not shake. I read it twice, the way I read things that mattered, and slid the form across the counter. The clerk stamped it. The sound was a soft, final thud, like a door closing on one room and opening on another.I stood there a moment longer than I needed to.I planned the rest of it in t
POV: RayProfessor Wen did not tap her pen, and that was how I knew.It was a gray Friday morning in mid December. Frost furred the edges of her office window. The radiator hissed. A mug of tea steamed beside a leaning tower of blue folders, and the whole room smelled of paper, chalk, and bergamot. She had sent me a two line email at eight. Come by when you can. I had read it six times on the walk over, searching for a threat in it, the way I used to search every message from a man in a leather chair.She sat very still when I came in. Her pen lay flat on the desk."Sit," she said.I sat. My knee began to bounce. I pressed my palm over it."Your paper was accepted," she said. "The Journal of Organizational Studies. The graduate edition. They want it in the January issue."The words arrived and did not make sense. Accepted. Journal. I heard them the way you hear a door close in another room."Third draft," I said stupidly."Third draft." Her mouth moved, nearly a smile. "The editor wro
Ray's PovI should have said no.The second Professor Hartwell asked me to babysit his daughter, I should have walked out. But I didn’t. I just sat there, in the worn leather chair across from his desk, trying to figure out what game we were playing.I’d been in his office plenty of times. Usually,
POV: RayMonday came like a punishment. I stood outside the athletics media room with my hands in my jacket pockets, telling myself I was calm. I was not calm. I'd barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the photograph on Hartwell's desk, the girl with the laughing eyes and the swinging hai
Riley The Rink Bar was everything I hated about hockey culture crammed into one sticky, overheated room.Blue and gold jerseys clashed everywhere I looked, Falcons and Eagles pretending to be civil while shooting daggers at each other over red plastic cups. The music was too loud, the bass vibrati
Riley's Pov Marvel,” I said, the word coming out as a relieved sigh.He didn’t smile. His eyes, usually so warm when they landed on me, were hard. “What’s going on?”“I was looking for you. I came down to… I saw the end of the game.” I took a step toward him, wanting to bridge the gap, to get us a
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