The Groomless Bride

"Anak... Cassy... Tama na.” Nagpipigil ng iyak si Mama. “Please. Don't do this to yourself.” Parang kanina lang, ang saya-saya niya nang una akong makita suot ang wedding gown ko. Nagniningning ang mga mata niya. It was a reflection of the happiness she was feeling. Kabaliktaran sa nakikita ko ngayon. Kahit walang luha, her eyes were swollen red. Pati na rin ilong niya. I didn't want to make her feel that way. Pinipigilan ko na lang ang umiyak sa harap nilang lahat dahil hiyang-hiya ako. Wala naman akong ginawang mali pero kinakain ako ng sobrang hiya. I was biting my lower lip so they wouldn't see it shaking. Konting-konti na lang at tutulo na ang luha ko. Pero huwag muna ngayon please. Huwag sa harap ni Mama. "Mama... Give me more time. Maghihintay pa ako. Darating siya. How could he not? This is our wedding." I managed to say in one go pero halos hindi ako makahinga pagkatapos. Nakikita ko ang mga kotse ng mga bisita kong isa-isang nagsi-alisan. From a distance, I watched h

"Ellie." My eyes started to water at nanginginig na din ang boses ko. "Hindi pwede. Hindi niya pwedeng makita ang anak ko!” "Yan din ang unang pumasok sa utak ko nang makita ko ang hayop na iyon Cass... But we always knew this was a possibility, right? Ano na nga ba? Anong plano mo? "I-" Ano nga bang magagawa ko? Ano bang gusto kong mangyari? All I know is our path can't cross right now. "I don't want to see him." Punong-puno ng takot ang buong systema ko. Hindi ko na talaga alam. Tama na iyong ako ang nasaktan. Tama na iyong ako ang iniwan. I won't let the same thing happen to my son. "Alam ko Cass. Wag kang mag-alala. You have my full support pero-" she rolled her eyes nang marinig ang phone niya na nagri-ring. She took a glimpse at the caller bago sinagot ito sa harap ko. "Yes?" walang ganang sagot nito. She sighed a soundless one and answered the phone again. "Yes, Sir?" Ellie corrected as she made faces while the other line was probably talking. Siguro ay si Troy ang kausap ni

"Mimi!" Agad na sinalubong ako ng anak ko while planting little kisses on my face. I tickled him kaya naman lumayo ito habang tumatawa. Aw. His laugh is like music in my ear. Bagay na kahit kailan ay hinding hindi ko pagsasawaan. "Little man, why are you still awake?" I placed my hands on my waist. 10 pm na kasi at dapat, kaninang alas otso pa ito natulog. "Mimi, my bed is very big without you." he pouted his lips while talking. I just wanna pinch his cheeks and kiss him pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. I want him to know that staying late is not going to make a good habit. "Mimi." he hugged my legs while saying Mimi over and over again. "Alam mo ba anong oras na?" I said with a serious look on my face. Naka-pout pa rin siya and slowly shook his head. "Mimi... I don't know how to read time using the clock." Gusto kong tumawa but just bit my inner cheeks instead. "Well, I'll tell you then. It's so late and all kids your age are now asleep. Next time, if Mimi comes home late, you go

"Sure na ba ‘yan? Baka end of this chapter tapos, start of something new pala."I heaved a sigh. "No. It’s not that, Ellie. For me, tapos na talaga. I don’t want to think of it anymore. I gave myself what I thought I needed, a closure. Iyon lang iyon at iyon na ‘yun.” I glimpsed at Jeremy who was busy picking toys. Ang laki-laki ng ngiti niya habang tinitingnan ng malapitan ang laruang sasakyan.He beamed as he showed it to me. Nagpapa-cute pa para magpabili. I nodded kaya nilagay niya iyon sa basket.He deserves it."Matagal na naman talagang tapos. Parang sentence na kulang ng tuldok. I officially ended everything with a period. That's what I just did.""Teka... Asan na ba si Jeremy?" lumingon ako ulit sa kung saan ko nakita si Jeremy kanina. He was just there a while ago!Nilibot ng mata ko ang paligid to check if he's around pero nahirapan akong makita siya. I can feel the rapid beating of my heart "Ellie..." I'm aware of the tears forming in my eyes. Naglakad-lakad ako sa paligid

CASSHindi ako makapag-isip ng maayos ngayong linggo. Thankfully, Mama volunteered na ipayal muna si Jeremy to let me have my rest. Sabi niya, I should go to a hotel or spend my day in a spa.Instead of doing that, I decided to spend my time in a small cafe malapit sa amin. I don’t want to travel far and I don’t want to do anything. Literal na gusto ko lang magkape.Some neighbors greet me with a smile. I returned my smile at them too. I feel proud that I’m able to do this. Because there was a time when I'm too affected by how people think. They didn't even hide their judging looks when they saw me. Hindi ko man naririnig pero alam ko anong binubulong nila.It was unfair for me, it was unfair for Jeremy...kasi, wala naman kaming ginawang mali. The only mistake I am guilty of was choosing Jake.I was so blinded by my own pain that I forgot about others' feelings. I was staring too much in the past that I totally forgot about the future. May panahon nga na halos itulak ko na ang mga nag