The Luna I'm Meant To Be

**Raina's POV**

Heavy breathing reached my ears as Silas moved on top of me like someone who’s possessed by the demon of lust. 

I clenched my hands into fists, catching my breath as I forced down the bile that rose to my throat. 

If I threw up now, I would just get a beating and have wounds to nurse for days. 

Unlike most werewolves, I didn’t have the ability to heal faster. So, I didn’t like getting hit or injured. Silas could be brutal when angry, and I didn't want to provoke him. 

He groaned and released inside me before pulling out of me and getting to his feet. And then his face morphed into a look of disgust. 

“Fuck… every time I finish, I come to my senses. Why the hell was I fucking someone like you?” He hissed, gritting his teeth. 

My stomach churned. 

Why was he fucking me? Even I didn’t have the answer to that question. He always had, from the time I became an adult and was sent to the packhouse to live as a maid, even though I wasn’t an omega. 

My wolf was just weak. But I was born to Beta parents.

Silas always looked at me with disgust, calling me fat and ugly, but he lusted after the same body he looked down on. 

I didn’t understand him at all…

I placed an arm over my chest in a futile attempt to hide my breasts and cupped my core with the other. I couldn’t stand the look of disgust on his face. 

He just slept with me, but he looked at me like I was some filthy pig. 

It stung… the prickling-like sensations made my heart feel like it was being pierced with long, sharp needles. 

Yes… I had a crush on Silas, the Alpha of the Whitecrest Pack. I thought that maybe if I did as he wanted, he would fall in love with me and make me his Luna. 

But he constantly just kept lusting over my body and treated me like trash both in private and publicly. 

Guess the joke’s on me…

He would never make me his Luna… my half-sister, Gwen, was a better match for him. She was the typical bombshell- blonde with striking green eyes and a slender figure with just the right amount of curves. 

Whereas you wouldn’t feel my hipbones if you grabbed my hips… I had lush breasts that bounced as I moved and a tummy pooch.

I wasn’t beautiful according to werewolf standards. 

So, I couldn’t even dream of being Silas’ chosen mate. I should be grateful he could even sleep with me…

I felt my wolf growl in my mind in disapproval, but I ignored her… she wasn’t human, so she wouldn’t understand how insecure my body made me feel. 

A sigh escaped my lips as I dressed up in my usual baggy clothes- a large grey tee and loose black pants. When I was done, I made for the door, but Silas suddenly growled. 

“What are you doing?” He questioned. 

I turned to glance at him, confused. Wasn’t he done?

His eyes fell on the old vanity table. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” 

My eyes fell on the small white bowl that had a green liquid, and I wrinkled my nose. 

“Can I not take that? I can only get pregnant if I have my heat–”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Silas furrowed his eyebrows. “I will not take any chances. Are you trying to get pregnant and trap me with a kid? Drink that concoction… only my Luna can have my pup.” 

I felt like someone was stabbing me in the gut multiple times. 

Silas knew what would happen if I took that concoction for a long time. It was a mixture of very strong herbs that prevented pregnancy, and to make it more effective, it was laced with a small amount of wolfsbane. It’s said to cause infertility in werewolves if used for a long time, and I had been using it ever since Silas took my first time. 

I may have no hope of being his Luna, but I wanted to have my own children at some point. After all, I couldn’t be alone forever. 

Silas must have seen something on my face because the air around him suddenly turned cold. He stomped towards the vanity table and grabbed the white bowl. 

And then, he was in front of me in seconds, holding my jaw tightly, forcing my mouth open. 

“Ugh…” I groaned from the pain in my jaw. If he tightened his grip even just a little bit, my jaw would snap in two. 

Silas glared at me like I was his greatest enemy. Like the very sight of me disgusted the hell out of him. 

His cruel look sent stings of pain through my heart. 

Did he hate me that much?

“I said drink this shit,” he growled, forcing the horrible liquid down my throat. 

Not only did it taste bad, but it smelled like shit. 

Was this poison disguised as a contraceptive meant for people to consume?

I gagged, some of the liquid spilling out of my mouth and Silas grabbed my jaw tightly, tilting my head up.

“You better not waste anything. I don’t want you passing those ugly genes to my offspring,” he said ruthlessly. 

I couldn’t hold my breath for too long and since he was pouring the liquid relentlessly down my throat, I ended up swallowing it. 

When he was done, he let go of me like I was a disease while I coughed violently, but it was too late. 

I had already swallowed everything and immediately, I felt like my insides were burning. Like someone had made me swallow a piece of hot coal and it was wrecking my insides. 

Silas nodded in satisfaction. “We are hosting the hunting games today. A lot of important guests will be in our pack today. Don’t show your ugly face… don’t embarrass our pack for having such an ugly ass she-wolf.”